Halle Berry Was Mel Gibson All Along

February 3rd, 2011 // 72 Comments

The custody battle between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry is showing no signs of cooling down. Halle’s camp continues to run with their brilliant plan of making Gabriel look like a racist despite, oh I dunno, romantically dating a black woman for years and having a baby with her, but apparently he’s saved voice messages left by Halle after she found out he was dating Kim Kardashian, according to RadarOnline:

“She left a crazy message on Gabe’s cell just after some pictures came out of him at a Lakers game with a girl last year.
“She is mega, mega p***ed in the message, calling him, and the girl, all kinds of names – it’s certainly something Halle wouldn’t want heard. Gabriel played it to me at the time, and said: ‘see what I have to deal with?!’
“I really felt for the guy – I mean, he hadn’t done anything wrong….just gone on a date!

While Gabriel is refusing to leak the messages and will only use them privately in family court, Halle has gone nuclear and resorted to the age-old, but unfortunately effective method of using her child as a weapon. TMZ reports:

We’re told two-year-old Nahla cannot communicate what scares her so, but Halle believes her daughter has made it clear — something happens when she’s in Gabriel’s care that upsets her to the extreme.
Sources say Halle doesn’t know specifically what goes on when Nahla is with Gabriel but she’s convinced it’s unhealthy.

Full Disclosure: I’m entirely biased in this situation because I watched my brother go through a nasty custody battle a few years back and basically if you have a penis in these things, you’re fighting tooth and nail against an opponent who’s given unfettered access to the children and allowed to use bullshit tactics like, “Oh, they cry when they have to go with him.” They’re little kids! Of course they’re going to cry if you make it sound like going to daddy’s is a punishment, but I digress. — Actually, I don’t: Having a vagina doesn’t always equal the best parent. Okay, now I digress. Where were we? Halle Berry, right. Anyone else think she was classier or cooler than this, or am I the only one who judged a woman solely by the circumference of her breasts? I mean, how else are you supposed to gauge them? Personal interaction? AHAHAHAHAHA!

(But, for real, it’s the butt, isn’t it? Is that what I’m doing wrong?)

Photos: INFdaily


  1. Fumus

    fiirrssstt ooooolaaamiaaa

    • freemind



  2. asad

    what do you expect , white women act this way and she is not a black women was was raised by a white women grew up in a white culture and does white movies and has a white kid aka white women , so stop calling her black , because no black/African person consider her one of their own

    • Rei

      This. She’s only black when it helps win her an Oscar.

      • hellokittylover

        She is black. White movies? what white movies?– Movies she has played black woman in are B.A.P.S, Monster’s ball, Boomerrang,,Gothika, Their eyes were watching God, Queen, swordfish, and sooo many more.

    • Kat

      By that logic Obama is white, but most African Americans ‘consider them one of their own’. If Halle Barry acts like a bitch, it’s because she’s a bitch. Her ethnicity, gender, nationality, religion, or political affiliations, etc have nothing to do with it. By going into the stereotype of ‘whites’ you’re just perpetuating racism.

      • testington

        Shut the fuck up asad, TONS of black people consider Halle black, hell that is the only reason she won her Oscar for crying out loud

    • Straight2daPoint

      Black, White…fucking Green… Why is everything about race?
      She’s just a “Bitter Cunt”… end of story.

  3. Halle Berry Gabriel Aubry
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow good looking but totally fucked up, it usually happens this way. Run Gabriel and run fast!

  4. Candy

    Wow this post sounded almost human. I didn’t know thesuperficial writer had a heart after all. Nice, but please give us more breasts.

  5. the only opinion that matters

    I am divorced, and NEVER, EVER, used my child as pawn when dealing with our differences during the divorce. I LOVE my child enough to put aside my ego and hurt and realize how important it is for her to have a healthy relationship with her dad even though he was a cheating lying jerk to me. If you really love your child you don’t use them or involve them in your differences. If your ex really is a jerk, they will figure it out eventually but that won’t stop them from loving their dad. Grow up Halle, you can’t control everything, be a bigger, better (and classier) person by putting your daughter first and YOUR ego second.

    • GravyLeg

      What you said is very true. Kids figure it out in the end. However, that doesn’t change the fact that some women want vengeance and have no qualms about telling ANY lie to get even. It may not stop the kids from loving their dad but it is shocking how many people are willing to buy into a woman’s BS story because she tears up and sells it well. Hell, my drug addict ex doesn’t have an Oscar and SHE was a nightmare for that crap. I literally kept logs, recorded every call, and took tons of photos so I could deal with the inevitable lie/accusation that would come rolling in every week or two. Without those things I would have never had a way to show what a crazy freak she was/is. Gabriel is in for a long road of irritation.

      • Amanda

        I had the opposite problem, it was my dad who talked shit about my mom, telling lies to his and her family trying to get everyone against her. I’m an adult now, I figured out the lies, and I’m happy to say I haven’t seen my dad in 3 years. So much healthier without that crazy alcoholic ass.

    • This. What you both said, actually. I just want to say to The only opinion: kudos to you, because it can’t have been easy, but your kids will thank you by growing up sane and without father issues. Even someone like Goldie Hawn may have made the mistake we’re discussing here by completely keeping her ex out of her children’s lives. And look at Kate Hudson now. Gravyleg: I hope you’ll keep at it, your children need you!

    • GravyLeg

      Thanks Isabel. I shall endeavor to carry on. My kids are worth it. :)

  6. mbizz

    asad, we don’t want her either!!!

  7. seth rogen's vagina

    I agree that the size of the tits does indicate the level of craziness of the broad they’re attached to – bigger the tits, crazier the bitch. And that explains Charlie Sheen’s attraction to small breasted women – he’s had alot of experience with crazy women, so he knows to avoid the big tittied bitches with all their crazy.

    • Anon

      There could be a mini-theory you’ve got there… Bigger boobs (in relation to the rest of the body), more pheromones… And we all know its the pheromones whence the crazy comes.

  8. Lisa

    CONTROL FREAK….. Halle has issues and now to see that she will push her own personal freakish issues on to an innocent 2 year old is disgusting..

  9. too bad they’re not in virginia, the commonwealth here treats divorcing couples 50-50 in everything–custody, property division, the lot.

    • Drew

      Uh. This is the protocol for most anywhere, but that doesn’t it mean it works that way in practice. In the vast majority of cases like this, the bias is ALWAYS in favor of the mother unless there is a clear sign that she is insane. You’d be surprised what most men have to go through in order to even be taken seriously in custody/divorce battles. Did you even read the anecdote Fish mentioned? It’s sadly true in most cases. There’s no “fair” in these things, regardless of where you live.

      • Drew

        I should also add here, their dispute is not over monetary possessions. Unless Aubry is deemed a danger to his kid (which is highly unlikely) custody will be shared in some way, regardless. Splitting the kid in half would be messy.

    • Mortimer Duke

      Thats useless information seeing as how they were never married. But thanks for nothing anyway, at least you tried.

      • MD, ever hear of ‘palimony’? it was coined right there in cali.. some actor had to give HALF to a gf who lived with him, just can’t remember who it was. but yeah so add in a kid and i’d call that common law married just about anywhere.

        but yeah Drew truth is what’s best for the kids is usually decided by whose lawyer is tighter with the judge..

      • It was Lee Marvin vs Michelle Triola, and it involved property and earnings they’d acquired when they first started to live together, not all his assets. And since common law marriage (which usally requires cohabitation, comingled accounts and public representation of both parties as spouses – for at least 7 years) isn’t recognized in CA, it wasn’t even the basis for the case, so whether you’d call it that or not is irrelevant. The CA Supreme Court deliberately didn’t treat them as a married couple, even though Triola filed as “Michelle Troila Marvin”. A nonmarital partner actually has no automatic rights to support, so “palimony,” though catchy, is essentially meaningless.

      • The Listener

        Only 15 states and the District of Columbia in the USA recognize common law marriage: Alabama, Colorado, Georgia, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah. See http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=4265

        I don’t know where Halle and her ex-boyfriend lived, but if they were living in the USA in any of the other 35 states they don’t have a common law marriage. I’m not an attorney and I’ve never been divorced or have kids so who knows how the law is going to work for them.

      • Listener – they weren’t together for 7 years, they never represented themselves as married, and he’s not trying to get spousal support from her, so all that’s irrelevant, no matter what state they lived in. With unmarried parents, what’s an automatic right in a marriage just doesn’t exist. Even tho his name is on the birth certificate, the presumption that the man is the biological father isn’t automatic, which is why so many unmarried dads find getting any sort of custody an uphill battle, and why so many unmarried women find getting suppirt equally hard. Aubry probably needed – or needs – to get a court order to spend any time with his child, because he has no enforceable legal right to do so without one.

  10. That Guy

    That bitch will cut ya. :P

  11. LudaKat

    I’d be scared to be around my dad too if he started dating the sister of a known Sasquatch.

  12. hellokittylover

    Halle berry is BLACK. You could think she’s white all you want, but even if she’s mixed–guess what ? they still call her a black woman.

  13. Mia

    I think generalizing is always wrong. for every blood thirsty woman who uses her kids as a weapon against her ex, I’m pretty sure there’s at least another woman out there who struggles everyday to feed her kids and make sure they have a place to call home because her ex-partner has better things to do than paying the alimony, or worse, he disappeared as soon as he found out she was pregnant.
    That said, it looks like Halle is playing with her daughter’s well being for no reason at all here and that’s really fu***d up

    • GravyLeg

      Too true. I have a several friends who are mothers who deal with that daily. The problem is that when the father is actually the better parent, the system is extremely biased against him. Judges place kids with druggie mom’s over competent loving fathers all the time out of the misguided belief that child rearing requires a vagina. I know I am just thankful I managed to get forced drug testing on my crazy ex and 50% custody. The system is shit.

      • Mia

        I agree GravyLeg, the system is flawed. I’m Italian and the judicial system here is pretty much the same as yours when it comes to divorce matters. To me this unbalance is a clear sign that many of the prejudices western society is based on are still extremely radicated, despite being clearly groundless. the road to real equality between men and women is still long, and how appropriate it is for me to write this on a “tits & ass site”, but one step at the time…
        I’m glad you made it by the way :-)

        p.s. I know this is NOT just a “tits & ass” site and that’s why I like it so much ^_^

    • In my experience I’ve found that there are awful women and awful men, awful whites and awful blacks, awful gay people and awful straight people, and all in roughly the same percentage as any other group. It’s disappointing because you always wish there existed some enlightened bunch of someones somewhere, some group more pure or perfect.

      I also wish I could eat lamb chops every day, never have to work again. was immortal and had the power of invisibility. What can you do?

    • testington

      Completely pointless argument Mia, the issue is that when BOTH parents want custody the court is biased towards the mother. Saying for every woman who uses her kid as a weapon there is another fighting to support her kids without her ex’s help makes no sense. Aside from being a conclusion you made up based on zero statistical evidence the two situations have nothing to do with one another. The court’s only bias should be that people are innocent until proven guilty, but the reality is in custody hearings the mother is presumed to be the better parent and the father has to fight against that perception.

      Though if Gabriel has any sense he would be pointing out that as an actress Halle probably works 80 hour weeks and as a model he probably only works about 30 hours a week…that is something that actually should be valid in determining how custody should be split up.

      • Alex

        ok cool guy, no need to be snotty and demand “statistics.” we’re on the superficial for fuck’s sake, this isn’t necessarily a melding of the minds (although I love this blog dearly). Mia read that post and her specific socialization led her to correlate the two and she was just explaining how she views the situation. and from your response I take it you are not a female and have never been left pregnant and alone.

      • Mia

        “… the reality is in custody hearings the mother is presumed to be the better parent and the father has to fight against that perception.” welcome to sexism (which I despise in any form, so that we’re clear).

  14. “You will comp my meal or I’ll twist this baby’s head right off…don’t look honey. They want mommy to sit three tables from the kitchen.”

  15. Jay

    Yes I did think Halle had more class than this. To me it’s always a sign of desperation when anyone going through a bitter divorce including kids do that thing where they say “something” is disturbing my child when they are with their partner. She knows she’s basically accusing him of doing something vile / abuse-related to thier kid but she also knows to stay the right side if the law & put doubt in the minds of others just so she can win. Why you gotta go there honey? Why? Why?

    • testington

      I agree, it sounds like a veiled allegation of child molestation but vague enough that she couldn’t be charged with liable or defamation. Unless there is any actual evidence to support such a claim that is an absolutely disgusting thing to say to the press.

  16. jojo

    I think she is yelling at her integrity to come back, because from here it looks like she has completely lost it.

  17. Ella

    ‘Feeding time’ and the small child was sacrificed to the dragon

  18. $$$

    ‘He didn’t do anything wrong, just went on a date’ yeah with the world’s biggest diseased megawhore

  19. bob

    what does ms berrys race have to do with anything? Im more concerned with her attitude she seems too bitter

  20. Aggie

    This is Kim Kardashian’s fault. I say make them fight it out. CAGE MATCH!!

  21. You know who else use human shields? Terrorists. You know where I”m going with this.

  22. Eddie Baby

    Guys get too upset about this thing. Stop fighting and let the bitch have the kid. No matter what crap the mother fills her children with, they’re going to find out the truth sooner or later and the kids will end up hating their mothers for the rest of their lives. That’s some kind of payback.

    • The Listener

      The only problem with that is if the father really, truly wants to be part of the kid’s life NOW as he/she is growing up and doesn’t want to wait until the child is legally an adult to finally get to know him/her.

  23. Alan B

    this has nothing to do with class, black/white, parenting.. NOTHING.. it has everything to to do with Halle not wantingis pay 17-25% of her coin to some guy to babysit his kid. She going thru the same thing many divorcing fathers do, except she has a built in pussy pass.
    Unfortunately, the fact that she isnt bat shit crazy, does make a fuckton of $$$, is an oscar winner, might , JUST MIGHT invalidate the pussy pass just a teeeeny bit..
    will she get K-FED’d, probably not, but will she have to pay SOMETHING to keep ol’ gabby in 1000count Egyptian cotton?, more than likely.

  24. Alex

    yeah, I am totally disappointed Halle Berry is just like every other worthless celebrity. I always held her in such high esteem. I guess things like break ups, custody battles, jealousy and insecurity can take their toll on anyone, and she is only human. le sigh.

  25. garrett1

    I think she is a flake but their are men out there who just want joint custody so they don’t have to pay as much in child support. My ex is one of them and why I am taking him back to court. Not for more money but to actually supervise and care for the kids when he has them.

    • And there are plenty of WOMEN who don’t want their ex to have more access as it will mean a drop in child support. Whats your point?

      • garrett1

        read last part of story again and maybe you will get it.

      • Anon

        So you’re accusing him of doing this only for money and then acting pious about yourself by saying you are trying to do the right thing in a similar situation to the first part of your message?
        like Gloria I’m looking for your point because thats what I’m seeing?

        What I am not seeing is anything relating to this story in your comment.

  26. This makes me so sad! I love Halle…I really hope she comes to her senses soon. I don’t wanna see her go downhill. If she becomes trash, how else will I describe my haircuts to my stylist?

  27. Blah

    Aw, poor white man. Those crazy black womens holding you down again. When will they stop oppressing you?

    Gabriel is a crazy racist dick. Yes, you can be racist and still date a black person just like you can call a woman ever derogatory name under the sun and still marry a woman. He didn’t see her as an equal, he saw her as a sex doll. Now she is (rightly) furious and he is crying about his “rights”.

    I’m so glad he is fast on his way to becoming a nobody again. Your golden ticket has run out!

  28. Star Droppings

    Holding your baby by the butt crack is the new skinny jeans.

  29. Class? Cool? Don’t make me laugh, I never thought she had either – she washed her dirty laundry in public more than anyone I know (with the possible exception of Kim Basinger). Know who has class? Elin Nordegren. This has nothing to do with race, it’s about your sense of self, maintaining your privacy (for your child’s sake, if nothing else), and not needing to validate yourself or your actions in anyone’s else’s eyes.

    Berry always came across as high maintenance crazy and really in love with being seen as a poor, struggling put-up victim. When her first marriage tanked because her husband wanted out, she publically blamed him as the cause for her low self esteem, even though she claimed since she’d left an abusive boyfriend no one could make her feel like less again. Then when her second cheated on her, she publically accused him of cheating on her with 27different women. Then we got the whine of, I have such bad luck in love, all my efforts to get a child have come to naught – and I’m a diabetic.

    Now we get – “I don’t know exactly what’s he’s doing to make her upset, but I know he’s doing something, and since that means he must be doing something, it must be bad.” WTRighteousF? In what alternate universe does that pass for logical thought? It’s a cheapshit way to smear him and make her look like a righteous protective mommy who won’t be victimized yet again, and it makes me fucking catsick.

  30. Melissa

    HB really needs to stop talking about her babies daddy and make things better for them to co parent. This justakes me so sad to hear the bashing.

  31. That Mexican guy really likes her boots.

  32. homosapiens

    Look, the “pussy pass” exists because the woman gets to be the incubator for nine months then pushes the wee lil’ one through her vagina (messy and unpleasant, sometimes lethal) and then often follows that up with nursing. Her initial investment in that little human is considerably greater then spewing out some sperm that may otherwise have been destined for the shower drain. Good fathers contribute in other ways, both before and after birth, to even the balance sheet; bad fathers don’t. But in the absence of a little tally sheet of late night pickle runs or shitty diaper changes or working like hell to provide for the mini human and mama, all you know is that a woman pours far more of herself into creating a child than a man. So you give her the benefit of the doubt…until she does something like trash her baby daddy in the media. Dammit, woman, have some self control. You’re making us look bad.

  33. I saw her once and when I asked for her autograph she told me she would burn my whole world down if I didn’t blow her, threw up a heil, and then pushed me over…so yeah.

  34. geek

    you know what? my dad was and is a lot better parent than my mom; he simply has much better maternal instincts,and yet he isn’t some wipe-off or whatever. it doesn’t mean i love my mom any less-and they are happily married-but if it ever came to separation, no matter.my mom would no doubt get us bc she’s mother. that is just stupid. plain and simple.
    these days, there is nothing that can make me believe this is indeed a “children-loving” society.

  35. jio

    Always sensed she was crazy, look at all the drama she always used to talk about on Oprah, who cooed her with a soothing hand. Buncha bs.

  36. Reece

    To all the MEN Out there:

    You need to start standing up for each other. My Fiance has been fighting since b4 his daughter was born to be a parent to her. His ex has family that works for Child Services so she knew all the angles to use to insure she had complete control. She moved to another city b4 the child was born, falsely accused him of assault (the judge threw all the charges out calling her a liar) so there would be a restraining order and he wouldn’t be able to get near the child for the year it took to go to trial, she told the court he was bipolar and couldnt be trusted around a child (even though he took care of her old child alone while she partied), she refused to put him on the birth certificate so she wouldnt have to get written consent to take her out of the country….but still demanded child support…For the first year and a half of his daughters life he had drive 5 hours to see her for 2 hours in a a supervised daycare or “baby jail” (because of the original charges that were thrown out) and then drive right back home so he could work the next day…

    The courts are set up for women. Men and the women that care about them need to start standing up and making the conniving women out there know that its not alright. I mean the court system and laws are made my men and unfortunately men and women dont think the same. Most men would never think to do what alot of women do after a break up.

    Bottom line is that ppl need to get their heads out of their asses bc I keep hearing “The courts are fair when it comes to custody. The man doesn’t always lose”…the courts are fair when the woman lets them. Unless the woman says “you know what? Ill take the kids for 2 weeks and then he can have them for 2 weeks”, he aint gettin shit.

  37. Lena

    For the whole black/white ‘where is this coming from’ argument, that comes from Halle, who is throwing out accusations that Gabriel whatshisnuts is a racist.
    IMO she seems a little bit nutty on this one. Who really knows what he or she is like in down time, but he’s playing it quiet and cool while she’s running to any media outlet she can crying wolf or rape or whatever this is exactly.
    I come from a divorced family, and I used to cry every time my mom dropped me off at my dad’s and every time my dad dropped me off at my mom’s. There’s something you pick up on as a kid, maybe it’s the hostility between the two fighting over you, that’s just extremely upsetting. With tension in the air that thick, it’s surprising that hobos aren’t weeping on the streets into their change cans.

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