Halle Berry Wore a Bikini For Her Birthday

August 15th, 2011 // 139 Comments

This may come as a shock to a lot of you, but Halle Berry has really awesome breasts. So here they are in Malibu yesterday where she celebrated her 45th birthday, yet looked light years more awesome than the 38-year-old Heidi Klum. — From the front anyway. Granted, Halle’s only had one kid to Heidi’s four because deciding to tempt fate and perpetually shit out babies while working as a model is always an awesome idea. That’s like being an Olympic runner and every couple of years letting Kathy Bates’ character from Misery break your legs to show awesome your genes are. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should. (See: Reid, Tara; marriage of.)

Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Jimmy

    God DAMN

  2. FruitLoop

    Boy howdy, those are some nice plump tits for such a slender frame. Women like this had better realize how luck they are to have a body like that. (Yes, I understand many of them work hard to keep it that way).

    • yes, she should be considered lucky to have fake boobs covered in stretch marks and an ass that looks like a grandmothers.

      Halle Berry looks great from a distance…that’s the best you can say about her.

      • If you go in close for a better look, the fullblown crazypants will get you. I swear it’s some sort of tractor beam.

      • gumption

        the voice of reason. Indeed she has fake knockers, her hair looks like a man, her nose job was done nicely bu it doesnt make up for her plain Jane face. Let’s face it, she gets a lot of love from the American public because she is a “safe” black. Not too dark, demure in behavior and nothing that would actually showcase how beautiful a lot of black women are, we can’t have that now can we? I think Naomi Campbell is gorgeous but she is constantly insulted. You get my point, Halle Berry and Beyonce types are dime a dozen, light skinned, full of plastic surgery and annoying. And before you all go crazy on me, I am not a black woman but if I was I would still have the right to voice the same sentiments dammit!

      • silver spoon

        Naomi Campbell is insulted for being an abusive, evil c**t, not because her body isn’t bangin’ enough. Cut her head off and she’d be perfect.

      • lola

        Her boobs are not fake sweety, and if you need proof then go back to a clip of her show on NBC starring Lea Reminie from “The Talk:” on CBS she still looks the same in the body, her face looks great but it does look like that of a 45 year old women. As for Hedi Klum looking years older because she popped out four kids is ridiculous! that women looks fantastic.
        Now a women who doesn’t look her age, which is 45 is Stacy Dash! that women looks like she’s in her late 20′s early 30′s that women made some kind of deal with the devil because I’ve never seen anyone look that good, or that young pass the age of 30 especially someone with four kids. She’s from the movie clueless by the way, the black chick just in case you forgot.

  3. RoboZombie

    Now, if she’d only grow her hair a little longer….

  4. would ass eat! +1

  5. Vivian

    That woman defies every law of nature, it is a pleasure to look at her

    • Fletch

      Yes, but she is batshit crazy so you only look at it. You do not touch it, you don’t go out on a date with it and you don’t marry it.

      • Ebony

        Do you know her personally enough to say she is crazy, or do you just believe what the media says. I feel sorry for people in the media because we treat them as if they are non-human. Why is it okay to show a picture of this lady’s ass like this while she is hugging her child. People are vultures and if this were you, you would not like it. It’s sad. And, you are assuming she has had plastic surgery. She has never been reported as having that. Black women come in every shade, body type, hair type, etc…She is beautiful. She is also biracial, which probably accounts for her complexion being light..Should she apologize for that? Why do we always find fault with people..especially us women…with each other. SAD< SAD

  6. Halle Berry Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Really now…the blogger is just being rude to us poor straight female readers.

  7. Best boob job in the business

    • Jack Ketch

      Yepper … fakers, but it’s a good boob-job, lol.

    • OK

      Not fake, anyone who says so is either a jealous female or a clueless male with little to no boob knowledge.

      • Jack Ketch

        No jealous females here … they’re too shiny to be real and do not hang like real ones … it’s well-documented that they’re fake. Google it :)

      • there’s no shortage of pictures of Halle Berry’s bare boobs…they are clearly not natural.

      • ohh, my bad, I didn’t realize real boobs magically grew 2 sizes overnight and came with armpit scars these days.

      • Artofwar

        ….Fake boobs–straight from the horses mouth-so to speak– she has already owned up to it.

        Her boobs indeed came with a receipt, and a five year factory warranty.

        Now you delinquents STFU, and move the fuck on.

        There are more pressing issues to ponder, like, is she into butt sex, and if so, does she do it because she truly enjoys it, or is she just doing it to please dudes….Artofwar

    • Jimmy

      Have any before pics?

      • Kelce

        You guys are morons. Her boobs are real. They’re probably shiny from sun tan lotion and pregnancy makes tits grow sometimes. I have real ones and they hang like that.

      • Fletch

        Actually if you read the tabloids, around 252 days ago she her lips botoxed and her boobs done.

      • Solowoman

        So what if she has had a boob job, nose job, lip injections, tummy tuck, 98% of women with means has! She looks awesome for a woman of 45 who has had a child. Men are so critical of women, let us see you push a 6-8 lb human out of your penis, then you can criticize! You idiots.

  8. Halle Berry Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fantastic….for 45.
    There is milage on that ass.

  9. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    ok. didn’t need to see this one.

  10. oneone

    The One

  11. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Memo to Halle: jukeboxes have gone digital.

  12. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Kentucky Friend Chicken, thigh/leg piece, original recipe.

  13. Clarence Beeks

    her body and face are just perfection…….yes, she cheated with plastic surgery, but it is such good work!

  14. rough

    She’s august 14 too? Hot damn. I need a pic of her practicing the plank on Lacey H, it would be perfect.

  15. Bubba

    Hottest woman ever…..and if those are fake, best boob job ever

  16. Halle Berry Bikini
    baron of all media
    Commented on this photo:

    This is blunt force eye trauma to the penis.

  17. Venom


  18. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    any way… i like her !!

  19. Awesome. I wonder if her pubes take after her black half because man oh man that would be a wake up call, wouldn’t it?

  20. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The Catwoman seems to have spent WAY too much time licking her way to the cream, and not shakin her tail! Gotham will never be the same….. I blame the Penguin! Quack wack wack wack……

  21. now this i a woman I would marry in one day.

  22. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This puts an End to the Rumor that “Black Don’t Crack”

  23. PoorMaryKelly

    Her ass is like two Christmas hams with stretch marks. I would never tell her this or anything else negative though. When a black woman is crazy as hell people tend to get hurt.

  24. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    this is totally rude and uncalled for…

  25. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This angle is more favourable…

  26. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Now we’re talking.

  27. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Halle Berry will you marry me? :D

  28. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Always knew she wasn’t black

  29. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    …and ruined.

  30. OnTheRealThough

    Halle is crazy, but all i want is 24hrs with her. I would eat the ass & everything.

  31. Halle Berry Bikini
    Emersom Bigguns
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad she’s such a hag. Why is she so crabby all the time?

    • Misana

      I didn’t know she was crabby…really? Whatever. I have never even watched a movie with this woman in it.

  32. Halle Berry Bikini
    Emersom Bigguns
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like large curd.

  33. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This was shocking at first glance but once you use the first Photoshop that is the brain you can clearly see its just some stretch marks due to giving birth not of sloppiness. Lucky for her, it does not take place under the asscheeks, the thighs are safe. I would penalize her for not using laser surgery. I would penalize her roughly and I’m even that big a fan.

  34. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    ahhh! now I feel better. Least we know the bitch aint perfect

    • gumption

      what, the fake boobs, previous giant nose and ugly lips that she had reduced didnt clue you in until this? you want to see perfect? Go look at Naomi Campbell. That is a gorgeous woman.

  35. rican

    The nailin’ she got in Monster’s Ball makes her super hot, regardless of fake boobs, current age, etc.

  36. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Einhorn is Finkle?

  37. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m waiting for her to grab her ass cheeks and starting doing a ventriloquist act like Jim Carrey.

  38. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Stretch Armstrong would be jealous.

  39. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok you know what, it’s totally unfair to make fun of anyone with stretch marks cause there is literally NOTHING you can do about it. It is so sad, and seriously all you pathetic losers who think this is “Gross” she is a real woman clearly, and she is a 45 year old mother… probably with a better body than any of you. That is the sad truth.

    • Amy

      Exactly, Jane. She is beautiful — stretch marks, cellulite and all. As a woman, I love seeing stretch marks on gorgeous celebrities. It might detract from the mystique for these guys with their pants around their ankles, but I think it makes them more endearing.

  40. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Incredible body

  41. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She has virtually no cellulite, her body is absolutely bangin. Good for her.

  42. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so cute it’s INSANE!

  43. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Probably one of the best looking humans to ever walk the planet.

  44. JP

    Truly one of gods great creations. Every man that has ever been with this woman and let her slip away has some major issues.


    • Artofwar

      ….You must be a crazy chic, and/or a dude that is not familiar with Miss, Berry’s mental issues, dating-back to say—–since her father ditched her and her mother when she was two.

      Damn– that’s just one more man that has left her–Halle must have been born stone-cold crazy….Artofwar

  45. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell did she steal?

  46. Halle Berry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That is either :

    1. A piercing
    2. An oversized clitoris
    3. An undersized peen

  47. timmy the dying boy

    Holy shit, she must have made a deal with the devil. I don’t know if she’s had work done, but if she did, she clearly had the wisdom to hire only the very best.

  48. I’m hungry for Milk Duds all of the sudden.

  49. Dick Douche, Private Eye

    She and Barack Obama should hook up together and start a race of Legendary African-Americans.

  50. Eh, I still like Klum better. The tits are real and Klum doesn’t strike me as a goddamned idiot. Not saying Berry is a goddamned idiot, but most of what I’ve heard her say sounds goddamned idiotic. Granted, I don’t generally go out of my way to listen to her, so maybe I missed a few gems.

    • gumption

      WRONG! Klum has fake tits too. are you people blind? Maybe it is because I spent some of my youngest years in Houston, home of the boob job, but fake boobs are so obvious. Allow me to break it down, slim women like Halle and Klum sell their tits to Jesus in exchange for not having to carry around a muffin top. The only way to remedy this is via boob job which is easily identifiable on sight!

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