Haley Joel Osment is in so much trouble

August 17th, 2006 // 63 Comments

Haley Joel Osment was charged with four criminal counts today including: driving while having a blood alcohol content of .08 percent or higher with the special allegation of having a blood alcohol content of .15 percent or higher (especially bad!), and possession of marijuana while driving. Osment’s blood-alcohol content was 0.16 (double the legal limit) and the charges come from an incident last month when he crashed his 1995 Saturn, flipping it and breaking a rib.

I don’t think anybody saw this coming. At least Mel Gibson has a history of drinking, but the only thing Haley Joel Osment is known for is looking cute and hitting puberty. If convicted he faces up to six months in county jail, but considering it’s Haley Joel Osment the judge will probably just ask him to say “I see dead people” and then let him go for being a national treasure.

NOTE: Speaking of which, Mel Gibson pleaded no contest to his DUI charges today and faces no jail time but has to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Which should be good, because nobody is more anonymous than Mel Gibson. Except maybe Mr. T. Or the Kool-Aid man.


  1. vainandlovingit

    so dont care about the dude, but first ha!

  2. Doc

    so close!!!

  3. violinguy

    why the fvck is this millionaire driving a 95 Saturn?

  4. Tits_McGhee

    If I were a millionaire and driving a 1995 Saturn, I would be getting high and drunk too.

    I would rather be in jail an alcoholic than be Paris Hilton with herpes. Hey, it could be worse, Haley Joel.

  5. Raebees


  6. It’s so weird seeing him grow up. Poor kid, flipped in a 1995 Saturn.


  7. Elikapeka

    He hit puberty?
    I wonder if his Mommy is going to take away his $2.75 allowance this week for his oopsie. Definitely no dessert tonight, that’s for sure.

  8. laury

    Now this is just sad. Why is it that no child star (especially talented ones) is able to grow up to be a sensible, responsible person who takes their art seriously? Osment had a bright future ahead of him as an actor, but he had to screw that up by doing what all former child stars do: try to prove everyone that he’s a man by getting drunck and acting stupid. That’s the problem with these kids: they just don’t know what a real childhood is, and they let fame get to their heads way too fast because they don’t know any better. Damn you Tinseltown.

  9. whitney's sex toys

    the only tragedy is that his face came out of it the same

  10. That kid had one of the sweetest 1995 Saturns I’d seen in a LONG time.


  11. Ravenjade

    And the Kingdom Hearts fans weep.

  12. Celetina

    What, he couldn’t wait till his 30s to become a has-been star who retired in shame? He and Lindsey Lohan ought together and see if they can burn out before they actually hit 21.

  13. PunjabPete

    Actually I think he was driving this car because he actually is not a pretentious Hollywodd asswipe. He is fairly regular… Even with the drinking and driving. Pretty standard for that age group. Stupid but standard…

    “I see community service…”

  14. Tania

    That kid sure grew up into an ugly turd, didn’t he?

  15. Libraesque

    he looks like a hard core alcoholic already. How much booze you gotta drink to have a big blown up red nose like that and pink cheeks, looks like he just chugged a fifth

  16. PunjabPete

    Rent… Second Hand Lions…

  17. pirhan

    How can Mel be anonymous if we all know he’s going?

  18. endometriorama

    i need to smoke with this kid.

  19. mercedes215

    oh god..i cant imagine how butt ugly he looks in his mug shot

  20. Unfortunately, his large teeth walked away from the wreck unscathed.

  21. knowhere

    props! he could have had it all. and instead crapped it all out. fantastic.

  22. BoognishRising

    I see drunk people.

  23. RichPort

    Much like danYELL’s joke book, I got nothing here…. completely dry. I mean, give me a .50% BAC and an autographed poster of Beyonce, then maybe…

  24. TriStateSucka

    Him and Peyton Manning both have that downs syndrome look going…maybe that’s the hot new trend?

  25. LL

    You know, if you’re gonna get busted at two times over the limit AND in possession, you may as well do it right. Drunk driving? So 20th century. Osment should have flipped Paris Hilton’s $400,000 car with a dead hooker in the trunk and a couple of underage Japanese girls in the back seat. After running over a nun or a basket of puppies. He’d crawl out of the smoking wreckage with an Uzi in one hand and a grenade in the other.

    Then I’d have some respect for him.

  26. ChickenScratch

    His eyes are WAY TOO teenie for that nose.

    If I was a cute star when I was a kid, then I looked like this as an adult, I would kill myself.

  27. ChickenScratch

    Is it just me or does he remind anyone else of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes?

  28. alaskanchicsickle

    Maybe Mel can be his sponser.
    @14 aaaw, he’s not so bad.

  29. If he is not careful, he really will see dead people.


  30. Jan E-J

    Oh dear. He just turned out sort of funny-looking, didn’t he? Not so good. Poor thing. Yikes.

  31. and yet another hollywood cover-up…the media isn’t even reporting how belligerant poor haley joel was before and during the arrest …he was ranting like a madman…

    “muppets are the cause of the all the wars in the world today…officer…you’re not a damn dirty muppet are you?”

    he also reportedly called a female officer ‘miss piggy titts’…


  32. and oh yeah….this kid really needs to update his wheels…now that the saturn is totalled, maybe he’ll get something more appropriate for a star of his stature…like a KIA…

  33. ChikaDeeDeeDee

    @27: Sounds like a Schwarzenegger flick – wait, no – Californian Poobahs in general.

  34. jrzmommy

    Dude was f u c k e d u p.

    I just don’t get why they always gotta try to drive. They’re rich! Hire a sedan if you’re planning to get your la vida loca on. Call a cab if you get too wasted and weren’t planning on it. Something. Get a room and keep partying.

    8–Jodie Foster and Ron Howard would strongly disagree that “no child star” can grow up to be a sensible smart person who takes their art seriously.

    33-that shit’s funny.

  35. SuperShallow

    Second Hand Lions is a good movie but not becuase of him, its those old fart actors that made it a classic to me. Honestly, I just feel bad for the kid, I don’t think he drives a 95 Saturn because he’s regular, then he’d just be driving a regular not fancy Bens or BMW. No, he drives that becuase his parents might have squandered a good portion of his earnings buying houses and stuff….
    I have nothing mean to say… I just feel bad for him. (Take note this is the last time I’m nice)

  36. SuperShallow

    #36 right on…

  37. is that an after-photo? his face got beat with the fugly stick!

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  39. cole007

    Man, he IS in trouble. I can’t believe he wrecked a SATURN! That was the last of his “drunk” cars. You know, when I go out drunk driving, I also take my pinto, or my 85 model honda. It’s better than wrecking your real car.

    He really needs work. That’s why he got drunk and flipped the car he bought when he was six. Hey, did his parents steal all his money, too?

  40. Toonlite

    Our little Haley Joel grew up so fast??…it just seems like yesterday that he was in that dead movie….well okay I watched for the first time yesterday….

  41. 86

    Haley Joel Osment is cool. He has years and years of this kind of debauchery if he ever expects to live down being named “Haley”.

  42. nightshirt

    he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd. must have asian parents

  43. nightshirt

    he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd. must have asian parents

  44. nightshirt

    he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd.

  45. ValeWolf

    All I can do is remember the scene in Scary Movie when the burn outs are acting out in their basement the scene in The Sixth Sense where Haley says “I see dead people” and getting high…

    You think he ever did that?


    He is about the most un-fuckable men I have ever seen with my green eyes. YUCK!


    He is about the most un-fluffable men I have ever seen with my green eyes. YUCK!

  48. KelKel

    No wonder he is fucked up,he drives a 95 Saturn

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