Haley Joel Osment is in so much trouble

August 17th, 2006 // 63 Comments
haley-joel-osment-charged.jpg

Haley Joel Osment was charged with four criminal counts today including: driving while having a blood alcohol content of .08 percent or higher with the special allegation of having a blood alcohol content of .15 percent or higher (especially bad!), and possession of marijuana while driving. Osment’s blood-alcohol content was 0.16 (double the legal limit) and the charges come from an incident last month when he crashed his 1995 Saturn, flipping it and breaking a rib.

I don’t think anybody saw this coming. At least Mel Gibson has a history of drinking, but the only thing Haley Joel Osment is known for is looking cute and hitting puberty. If convicted he faces up to six months in county jail, but considering it’s Haley Joel Osment the judge will probably just ask him to say “I see dead people” and then let him go for being a national treasure.

NOTE: Speaking of which, Mel Gibson pleaded no contest to his DUI charges today and faces no jail time but has to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Which should be good, because nobody is more anonymous than Mel Gibson. Except maybe Mr. T. Or the Kool-Aid man.

... Clever Joke – Police Officer Makes a DUI Stop « Desultory Thought
... you need SR22 insurance? Cheap sr22 insurance for DUI, can you get it
DUI Drunken Drivers Beware: A Breathalyzer Coming Soon To Your Car
Call to Kill DUI Apps: You Booze, You Cruise, You Loose ...
Kanawha deputies arrest 3 during DUI patrol
Deputies in Kanawha County arrested three people during a DUI patrol in the St. Albans area Thursday night. Robin Lynn O'Neal, 54, of St. Albans, was arrested after deputies said she refused to take a field sobriety test, according to a news release from ...
DUI charges filed against Woodland man after he hit building
Police said DUI charges will be filed against a Woodland man injured when his vehicle struck a building Tuesday in Centre County. Joshua Fryberger, 23, was traveling west on U.S. Route 322 in Rush Township when he blacked out, according to state ...

Comments (63)

  1. vainandlovingit | August 17, 2006 at 6:00 pm

    so dont care about the dude, but first ha!

    Reply
  2. Doc | August 17, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    so close!!!

    Reply
  3. violinguy | August 17, 2006 at 6:05 pm

    why the fvck is this millionaire driving a 95 Saturn?

    Reply
  4. Tits_McGhee | August 17, 2006 at 6:12 pm

    If I were a millionaire and driving a 1995 Saturn, I would be getting high and drunk too.

    I would rather be in jail an alcoholic than be Paris Hilton with herpes. Hey, it could be worse, Haley Joel.

    Reply
  5. Raebees | August 17, 2006 at 6:15 pm

    5th!

    Reply
  6. sharkbite | August 17, 2006 at 6:16 pm

    It’s so weird seeing him grow up. Poor kid, flipped in a 1995 Saturn.

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com

    Reply
  7. Elikapeka | August 17, 2006 at 6:19 pm

    He hit puberty?
    I wonder if his Mommy is going to take away his $2.75 allowance this week for his oopsie. Definitely no dessert tonight, that’s for sure.

    Reply
  8. laury | August 17, 2006 at 6:26 pm

    Now this is just sad. Why is it that no child star (especially talented ones) is able to grow up to be a sensible, responsible person who takes their art seriously? Osment had a bright future ahead of him as an actor, but he had to screw that up by doing what all former child stars do: try to prove everyone that he’s a man by getting drunck and acting stupid. That’s the problem with these kids: they just don’t know what a real childhood is, and they let fame get to their heads way too fast because they don’t know any better. Damn you Tinseltown.

    Reply
  9. whitney's sex toys | August 17, 2006 at 6:28 pm

    the only tragedy is that his face came out of it the same

    Reply
  10. CelebSlam.com | August 17, 2006 at 6:28 pm

    That kid had one of the sweetest 1995 Saturns I’d seen in a LONG time.

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  11. Ravenjade | August 17, 2006 at 6:38 pm

    And the Kingdom Hearts fans weep.

    Reply
  12. Celetina | August 17, 2006 at 6:50 pm

    What, he couldn’t wait till his 30s to become a has-been star who retired in shame? He and Lindsey Lohan ought together and see if they can burn out before they actually hit 21.

    Reply
  13. PunjabPete | August 17, 2006 at 7:17 pm

    Actually I think he was driving this car because he actually is not a pretentious Hollywodd asswipe. He is fairly regular… Even with the drinking and driving. Pretty standard for that age group. Stupid but standard…

    “I see community service…”

    Reply
  14. Tania | August 17, 2006 at 7:22 pm

    That kid sure grew up into an ugly turd, didn’t he?

    Reply
  15. Libraesque | August 17, 2006 at 7:23 pm

    he looks like a hard core alcoholic already. How much booze you gotta drink to have a big blown up red nose like that and pink cheeks, looks like he just chugged a fifth

    Reply
  16. PunjabPete | August 17, 2006 at 7:25 pm

    Rent… Second Hand Lions…

    Reply
  17. pirhan | August 17, 2006 at 7:31 pm

    How can Mel be anonymous if we all know he’s going?

    Reply
  18. endometriorama | August 17, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    i need to smoke with this kid.

    Reply
  19. mercedes215 | August 17, 2006 at 7:46 pm

    oh god..i cant imagine how butt ugly he looks in his mug shot

    Reply
  20. stingybtchsuzy | August 17, 2006 at 8:35 pm

    Unfortunately, his large teeth walked away from the wreck unscathed.

    Reply
  21. knowhere | August 17, 2006 at 8:39 pm

    props! he could have had it all. and instead crapped it all out. fantastic.

    Reply
  22. yolandagc | August 17, 2006 at 9:37 pm

    Well, I guess anal rape should be one of his fears…

    http://www.vidilife.com/photo_781555_1_1_Haley_Joel_Osment_DUI_woes.htm

    Reply
  23. BoognishRising | August 17, 2006 at 10:27 pm

    I see drunk people.

    Reply
  24. RichPort | August 17, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    Much like danYELL’s joke book, I got nothing here…. completely dry. I mean, give me a .50% BAC and an autographed poster of Beyonce, then maybe…

    Reply
  25. TriStateSucka | August 17, 2006 at 11:03 pm

    Him and Peyton Manning both have that downs syndrome look going…maybe that’s the hot new trend?

    Reply
  26. LL | August 18, 2006 at 12:55 am

    You know, if you’re gonna get busted at two times over the limit AND in possession, you may as well do it right. Drunk driving? So 20th century. Osment should have flipped Paris Hilton’s $400,000 car with a dead hooker in the trunk and a couple of underage Japanese girls in the back seat. After running over a nun or a basket of puppies. He’d crawl out of the smoking wreckage with an Uzi in one hand and a grenade in the other.

    Then I’d have some respect for him.

    Reply
  27. ChickenScratch | August 18, 2006 at 2:01 am

    His eyes are WAY TOO teenie for that nose.

    If I was a cute star when I was a kid, then I looked like this as an adult, I would kill myself.

    Reply
  28. ChickenScratch | August 18, 2006 at 2:02 am

    Is it just me or does he remind anyone else of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes?

    Reply
  29. alaskanchicsickle | August 18, 2006 at 2:36 am

    Maybe Mel can be his sponser.
    @14 aaaw, he’s not so bad.

    Reply
  30. HolisticWisdomcom | August 18, 2006 at 2:42 am

    If he is not careful, he really will see dead people.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

    Reply
  31. Jan E-J | August 18, 2006 at 2:51 am

    Oh dear. He just turned out sort of funny-looking, didn’t he? Not so good. Poor thing. Yikes.

    Reply
  32. sometimesboy | August 18, 2006 at 7:52 am

    and yet another hollywood cover-up…the media isn’t even reporting how belligerant poor haley joel was before and during the arrest …he was ranting like a madman…

    “muppets are the cause of the all the wars in the world today…officer…you’re not a damn dirty muppet are you?”

    he also reportedly called a female officer ‘miss piggy titts’…

    WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE!!!

    Reply
  33. sometimesboy | August 18, 2006 at 7:55 am

    and oh yeah….this kid really needs to update his wheels…now that the saturn is totalled, maybe he’ll get something more appropriate for a star of his stature…like a KIA…

    Reply
  34. ChikaDeeDeeDee | August 18, 2006 at 8:03 am

    @27: Sounds like a Schwarzenegger flick – wait, no – Californian Poobahs in general.

    Reply
  35. jrzmommy | August 18, 2006 at 9:17 am

    Dude was f u c k e d u p.

    I just don’t get why they always gotta try to drive. They’re rich! Hire a sedan if you’re planning to get your la vida loca on. Call a cab if you get too wasted and weren’t planning on it. Something. Get a room and keep partying.

    8–Jodie Foster and Ron Howard would strongly disagree that “no child star” can grow up to be a sensible smart person who takes their art seriously.

    33-that shit’s funny.

    Reply
  36. SuperShallow | August 18, 2006 at 9:22 am

    Second Hand Lions is a good movie but not becuase of him, its those old fart actors that made it a classic to me. Honestly, I just feel bad for the kid, I don’t think he drives a 95 Saturn because he’s regular, then he’d just be driving a regular not fancy Bens or BMW. No, he drives that becuase his parents might have squandered a good portion of his earnings buying houses and stuff….
    I have nothing mean to say… I just feel bad for him. (Take note this is the last time I’m nice)

    Reply
  37. SuperShallow | August 18, 2006 at 9:24 am

    #36 right on…

    Reply
  38. Adult Underoos | August 18, 2006 at 10:09 am

    is that an after-photo? his face got beat with the fugly stick!

    Reply
  39. ImSuicidal | August 18, 2006 at 10:21 am

    Hey blogger fans, while the Superfish is trying to figure out which story to rehash, come on over to:

    http://www.spankcheeks.blogspot.com/

    You’ll see a “PENELOPE CRUZ NIP SLIP”.

    You’ll read the “Top Ten Reasons Owen Wilson Is Better Than Chris Robinson” taken exculsively from Kate’s private dairy!

    You’ll marvel at the tow-headed man/boy “Who
    SEES DRUNK PEOPLE!!! (Okay, it’s this story, but Spanks has “Taiwanese prostitutes” and “heroin.” in hers)

    That and so much more!!!

    ****** AND IT’S FREE !!! ******

    What the hell… …Leave a comment

    Reply
  40. cole007 | August 18, 2006 at 10:38 am

    Man, he IS in trouble. I can’t believe he wrecked a SATURN! That was the last of his “drunk” cars. You know, when I go out drunk driving, I also take my pinto, or my 85 model honda. It’s better than wrecking your real car.

    He really needs work. That’s why he got drunk and flipped the car he bought when he was six. Hey, did his parents steal all his money, too?

    Reply
  41. Toonlite | August 18, 2006 at 10:55 am

    Our little Haley Joel grew up so fast??…it just seems like yesterday that he was in that dead movie….well okay I watched for the first time yesterday….

    Reply
  42. 86 | August 18, 2006 at 10:55 am

    Haley Joel Osment is cool. He has years and years of this kind of debauchery if he ever expects to live down being named “Haley”.

    Reply
  43. nightshirt | August 18, 2006 at 3:56 pm

    he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd. must have asian parents

    Reply
  44. nightshirt | August 18, 2006 at 3:58 pm

    he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd. must have asian parents

    Reply
  45. nightshirt | August 18, 2006 at 4:01 pm

    he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd.

    Reply
  46. ValeWolf | August 18, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    All I can do is remember the scene in Scary Movie when the burn outs are acting out in their basement the scene in The Sixth Sense where Haley says “I see dead people” and getting high…

    You think he ever did that?

    Reply
  47. LEMONSQZ | August 18, 2006 at 6:13 pm

    He is about the most un-fuckable men I have ever seen with my green eyes. YUCK!

    Reply
  48. LEMONSQZ | August 18, 2006 at 6:13 pm

    He is about the most un-fluffable men I have ever seen with my green eyes. YUCK!

    Reply
  49. KelKel | August 21, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    No wonder he is fucked up,he drives a 95 Saturn

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Name (Visible)
Email (Required, Not Visible)