Ha! They Think They’re People

Because MTV is the devil’s vagina, the cast of Jersey Shore was of course invited to the VMAs, and I’m going to be frank here: These kids are not the apocalypse. I thought they were. I wrote several posts proclaiming they were, but I realized the other day they’re not. That shit belongs to Teen Mom’s Farrah. Seriously, has anyone watched at least 30 seconds of her talking to her mom? She’s the type of daughter that makes me list hysterectomy as a desirable quality in a mate, if not mandatory.

Did I just write something nice about Jersey Shore? Excuse me while I commit seppuku now for bringing shame to the Internet. BANZAI!

Photos: Getty, WireImage