Ha! They Think They’re People

September 13th, 2010 // 85 Comments

Because MTV is the devil’s vagina, the cast of Jersey Shore was of course invited to the VMAs, and I’m going to be frank here: These kids are not the apocalypse. I thought they were. I wrote several posts proclaiming they were, but I realized the other day they’re not. That shit belongs to Teen Mom’s Farrah. Seriously, has anyone watched at least 30 seconds of her talking to her mom? She’s the type of daughter that makes me list hysterectomy as a desirable quality in a mate, if not mandatory.

Did I just write something nice about Jersey Shore? Excuse me while I commit seppuku now for bringing shame to the Internet. BANZAI!

Photos: Getty, WireImage

superficial

  1. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    kidchaos
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking ORANGE!!! This bitch looks like a space alien. Damn she’s nasty!

  2. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Lou Dobbs
    Commented on this photo:

    My abs look better than his. Give me sh$t loads of money MTV.

  3. Sweekes

    That’s too bad about his face.

  4. Owen

    You really have not watched much of Teen Mom huh? Cuz Farrah’s mom is CAH-RAZY. With a capital C. and a capital AH-RAZY. seriously. watch more of it, that mom will blow your mind with creepiness.

    • Octopus

      She is sooooo disturbing. I mean, Farrah is messed up, but it is completely understandable! Her mom makes me want to cry.

  5. captain america

    if you you’ll be polite he will give you a blowjob.

  6. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Eliza
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he gained weight and lost muscle, not impressive..

  7. aaron

    Well, they did make a crap load of money for MTV.

  8. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

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    as Lo-uis Vui-tton,Ch-anel,Gu-cci.etc

  9. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like The Situation’s gaining weight

  10. Willy Wonka

    What a gay cocksucker!

  11. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Hairy upper lip alert
    Commented on this photo:

    HAIRY UPPER LIP ALERT @ PEREZ HILTON’S SISTER TO ANOTHER MISTER!!!

  12. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    why??????
    Commented on this photo:

    WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS? WE ARE IN A RESSESSION PEOPLE! THERE ARE THOSE LOSING JOBS, A FLOOD CRISIS AND STARVATION AMONGST THE ASIAN POPULATION AND THE MEDIA IS ADVERTISING AND PUBLISHING PICTURES OF THIS BRAIN DEAD, GOOD FOR NOTHING CO2 ADMISSION!

  13. Scott Anodam

    As an ex-bodybuilder and trainer- sure now I’m old (but still f’n built) I can tell you that this odd-looking Situation person has no physique whatsoever! His pecs are shallow and almost childlike, his abs are misshapen and odd (where’s the rows??)
    So not only are his genetics (not his fault) truly against him, but he obviously doesn’t know how or is unwilling to put forth the effort to gain actual muscularity!?
    And again not his fault, but don’t get me started on that freakishly, honkin’ nose of his….Mean, I know. Sorry Mike.
    Just shows how insipid the gen-pub is on muscle- especially 12 year old girls from NJ!

  14. Heyyyyyooooooo ayyyyyyye!!! Da Sitchewatchean should change his name, if ya knowhatdaymean!?!?!?

    And what’s with THAT POSE???? I keep running that 90′s song by Right Said Fred in my head “I’m a Mooodel you know what I mean and I doooo my lil turd on the Catwalk …”

    That turd being Snooki. Is she auditioning to be an extra in a Bollywood production of the Wizard of Oz, where she plays one Giant munchkin? Round and Orange, if I were here I’d stay away from Pumpkin Patches for the next few weeks, or someone is gonna want to carve her.

    J-Woww is hot in that ‘pay me 40 bucks and you can have a half n half’ kind of way. The second she ‘tawks thowe’ it makes me want to zip up my penis inside my pants. Any woman from NJ with that heavy an accent sounds hideous.

    Pauly D is there too. NASA still cutting his aerodynamic hair I see. At least he had the decency to leave his shirt on.

    Where is Sammi S ffs???? The only person on that entire show worth looking at!!! Oh wait, she’s probably getting beaten by that Juice bucket Ronnie.

  15. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Brown Sugar3442
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does Snooki’s knees look ashy in this picture? SMH……..

  16. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Brown Sugar3442
    Commented on this photo:

    JWOWW’s looks nice in this pic.

  17. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Brown Sugar3442
    Commented on this photo:

    She does look nice.

  18. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    bea
    Commented on this photo:

    omg!!! ive been saying that about Farrah’s sh*tty a$$ attitude!!! ughi want to ffwrd her 20 years and show her how munch of a lil cunt she”s being to the person that’s put a roof over her ungrateful ass!!

  19. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    bea
    Commented on this photo:

    ***ooops..much

  20. Liz

    Ha! There’s a jib in the background.

  21. theTruth

    Jersey Shore is the definition of disgusting. They are all hideous, coarse, piggish and greasy people who probably have lots of STDs. They are entirely stupid enough to believe that they are important (low IQ).

    Greaseballs. Along with the people who watch them. Stomach turning stuff indeed.

    you’re welcome.

    The Truth

  22. Amber

    Yes they are all ugly. Their all tanned out, full of makeup people. Also Sammi is not hot whats so ever. She has no body and she has the ugliest face. Have you ever seen her without makeup, trust me its not a pretty image of her.

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