Gwyneth Paltrow Is ‘Incredibly Close’ To The ‘Common Woman’
I get it now. She thinks Jessica Seinfeld is a commoner. Classic GOOP.
Before we begin, let me just rattle off a few facts about Gwyneth Paltrow:
1. She pays cash money to have mugwort steam shot into her vagina.
2. She has feuds with Martha Stewart.
3. She published a 2014 Holiday Gift Guide that might as well have been called, “Haha, Poor People, Look At All This Stuff You Can’t Afford Because You’re So Poor.”
4. She doesn’t get divorced. She “consciously uncouples.”
5. Her best friend is Beyonce.
And if all of that sounds exactly like your life, congratulations, Gwyneth Paltrow couldn’t agree more. You’re practically twins. E! News reports:
The creator of Goop stopped by CNNMoney earlier today to discuss her growing lifestyle website and help critics understand that she’s got plenty in common with her target demographic.
“What we try to do at Goop is curate and to edit. We know that a woman’s time is her most precious resource and we want to multitask, get a lot done, and what we want to do is provide the best solutions,” she explained.
“I’m incredibly close to the common woman in that I’m a woman and I’m a mother and we all are in a physical body with beating hearts with compassion and love we are all seekers…we all want fulfillment, we all want to live our best lives. We want to be healthy and happy and squeeze the most we can out of life. I think that’s all women.”
In Gwyneth Paltrow’s defense, if there’s one thing that defines the common woman it’s $1,090 Tom Ford ballerina flats which, in her words, is “all over rad.” Why if I had a nickel for every pair I saw at the local grocery stor- What’s a nickel? Five cents? Small silver coin with Thomas Jefferson’s face on it? What do you call it? — A peasant pelter? I see.