Gwyneth Paltrow will force herself to get pregnant again

June 4th, 2008 // 65 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow is going to get pregnant again – or else! The wife of Coldplay singer Chris Martin and mother of two had this to say in the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar:

“I may force myself to do it one more time because the result is so worth it.”

I don’t know what kind of coercion takes place to make your body get pregnant. But I’m going to assume it involves Gwyneth Paltrow putting her uterus in a headlock.

Photos: Splash News

  1. 1st


  2. ph7

    I think I could seriously violate this Ice Princess.

  3. Ha ha

    Ha, I was first.


  4. I'm so glad I won

    I’m so glad I got the first and third positions!!! I win! The rest of you are all mindless retards!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Mississippi

    LMAO she’ll force herself? Wow.. And babies are overrated.. And she KNOWS this and that’s why she’d have to FORCE herself.. Man.. I wonder if her man has to gag and bag her to have sex with her.. Geesh.. *shrugs* she sounds like a tool..

  6. Oh right, but if I force her, it’s a sexual assault… fucking double standards…

  7. I'm the best!

    I have the most comments in these first few posts. Don’t anybody I’m seriously retarded either because this is what life is about; being a WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : D

  8. I win I win

    I have the most comments in these first few posts. Don’t anybody tell me I’m seriously retarded either because this is what life is about; being a WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : D

    I win again!!! HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Yo Momma

    She is a HUGE bitch!!! She came to look at a carpet once in NYC. Won’t name the company, but it is located in the D&D Building. The slaes people are taught not to act star struck. Her sales rep introduced her to another sales rep and because she didn’t make a big deal about meeting her, Mrs. P decided to leave immediately.

  10. I'm the best!

    Plus I take it up the ass more than Tom Cruise. TCLTC

  11. That's right I'm the best!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I win, I win, I win!!!!!!!! Yay me!!!!!!!!!

  12. Bobulo

    Oh no! she’s got the Katie Holmes android smile!

  13. Nexera

    Love her hair. Stellar.

  14. #11 is just a jealous hater!!!

    Hater! Hater! Hater! #11 you’re just a jealous troll! You’re jealous of my awesome wonderfulness!

    Yay me!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Jackson'shole

    And I will force myself not to care, for eternity.

  16. Jimbollina Seville

    I have the very same purse.

  17. Hmm . . . maybe it's time I read the article

    Hmm . . . after soundly bitch-slapping #11, and putting that evil hater bitch in his place, maybe I should read the article . . .

  18. dude

    frigid bitch.

  19. I'm the best!

    You’re God damn right I’m a jealous troll. I can’t believe you pwned me so hard core. You’re bastard people. I’m just going to go bite my pillow.

  20. Justo

    Bah, forget that, everytime she has a baby, Coldplay releases shitty music. They just came out with a solid album. She could at least wait a year or 2, for the sake of his career. How much could she have possibly gotten from Iron man…

  21. Note to self, need to research how a manly looking B list ‘actress’ can have a growing seed implanted.

  22. No, I'm the best! And I'm veggi's favorite troll, so there!

    @ #20: Good, you go bite your pillow, and I’ll bite Gwyneth Paltrow’s pillows, so there!

    Now, I hope you’ve learned your lesson troll!

  23. veggi

    I got nothin bad to say about her….. and I like Coldplay……

    But I am enjoying the “I’m so glad I won, I’m the best, I win” comments for some odd reason (vodka)… and of course, it’s nice to see that the Jimbo troll got it’s sex change and seems to have recovered quickly..

  24. veggi

    23- haha! good morning troll!!

  25. So there #20!

    @ #20 again: There, see! See right there in comment #24! And look! Look at #25!!!!!! veggi likes me best! So there!

    Hah! #20, pwned again by veggi’s favorite troll!

  26. Good morning!

    Good morning veggi! : )

    I’m the best troll ever!

  27. She might be thinking:
    what would be next?

  28. dogonabone

    she always reminds me of wilted lettuce.

  29. Barely Stearn

    How is it possible that every single time this bitch opens her mouth it is to say something utterly obnoxious or completely oblivious to the world around her? Does she undergo some sort of desensitizing treatment or enter a self absorption chamber where the rest of the world fades from existence and the entirety of her universe morphs into the sum total of just her being…
    A better question: Who are these “journalists” – and I use that word in as broad a connotation as possible (Sort of like what Scientology is to religion.) – who can bear to hear these utterly stupid and self absorbed statements and can simultaneously fawn whilst avoiding the diabolical urge to hurl their breakfast croissant into the interviewee’s lap…?
    Whenever I see or hear this broad’s take on life I am reminded of John Belushi grabbing the guitar from the guy on the steps in Animal House: He rightly smashes up the guitar of this asshole and then just shrugs and says ‘Sorry’ and moves on having saved the world/audience from the total douchebaggery of this guy’s “act”…
    …and I will close with this: This walking/talking douche can go Hogan Family all she wants on that head of her’s but having seen that bush countless times thanks to the Internet that gal is sporting a crotch as dark and furry as an Ewok. So: F U you phony bitch and I sincerely hope Chris Martin HAS TO FORCE HIMSELF to sex you up so you can get preganant and then tell the next sycophant-posing-as-a-journalist how tough it is to be pregnant and “a working mom”.

    Well f*ck me.

  30. nipolian

    Only thing positive I can say about Gwyneth Paltrow is that I really like her mom………..Blythe Danner……….in case you don’t know who she is……….she played Robert Duvall’s wife in The Great Santini.

  31. coco

    I have some baby names picked out for Gwyneth:-

    Pear, Honeydew, Carrot…… Squash, Parnsip, Thompson Seedless, Banana……

    Oh, woops! that’s my shopping list.
    Carry on. ^-_-^

  32. Vince Lombardi

    @32 – Thompson Seedless?! OMG, I laughed so hard at that I spewed on my monitor. Good one, Coco! LMAO

  33. Cokeasian

    How can we “force” her to kill herself? Sure it’s hard work, but “the result is so worth it.”

  34. gotmilk?

    please, Gwyneth, do us all a favor and don’t force yourself. there’s already too many fucked up hollywood babies in this world. oh wait, you’re one of those!

  35. kate

    Her dress is ugly and unflattering. I hate her.

  36. Uncle Eccoli

    She’s a snivelling, elitist twat.

  37. I’d put her uterus in a headlock. ;)

  38. Tony Stark

    I’ll hit that in the sequel.

  39. FMF

    Maybe it has something to do with Iron Man?

  40. Proud Mom

    She is rich and can afford to relax all through her pregnancy. How about all the working moms who have to wake up in the morning with morning sickness, get the kids ready for school, and then take an hour commute to work.

  41. eurotrash

    i think she meant that pregnancy and giving birth is painful and fucks up your body – but its all worth it once the kid’s there!

  42. mcluvin

    @41 Thats how I took it too, but I can see how she’s being misinterpreted.

  43. *Yawn*

    Such a boring woman.

  44. PunkA

    Most women hate being pregnant. 9 months takes its toll and I am sure it must suck to lose your figure and your energy. So I understand why she would have to force herself. Having the kids arrive is great, but the build up sucks. Pregnant women are so emotional and tough to deal with. It really sucks to be them, and sometimes to be with them. So I get what she was saying 100%.

  45. coffeebean

    How about all you bitches gripping about pregnancy just shut the fuck up and deal with it. It’s your responsibility as bitches to deal with it, not to complain about it.

  46. hey Proud Mom

    If you are not financially stable and healthy, why pass on your rank genetics through your deformed underprivelged children then?

  47. BigGyrl

    Gwyneth is about a B-cup from having a man-chest and Christina is about a double DD from a B-cup. If all it takes is to push out a brat why doesn’t stupid ass Heidi deflate that hackjob of a chest and push out a Spencer rugrat?

  48. silvereyes

    45 and 46, same enlightened being.

  49. Epidural


    Epidural makes giving birth painless! And if a female is fit before getting pregnant and does not gain over 26 pounds during pregnancy then she will not mess up her body.


    I cannot hate this bitch ENOUGH – right on # 29, right on, right on, right on.

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