Gwyneth Paltrow turns to snake venom

August 6th, 2007 // 52 Comments
gwyneth-paltrow-venom.jpg

Page Six reports Gwyneth Paltrow uses snake venom to treat her skin. A source at the Sonya Dakkar spa in Beverly Hills spotted Gwyneth leaving with a line of Ultra Lux 9 products which include a cream that contains snake venom. A source says:

“It’s not Botox. Just a cream that has the venom in it … [the cream] is part of the facials.”

And you thought celebrities were ridiculous. Oh, how silly you must feel now. See, they rub snake venom on their faces just like you and me.

superficial

  1. bubba lubdubski

    snake venom? is that the new hip word for ejaculate?

  2. Texas Tranny

    I’d fuck her and then clean it up with my tounge. Yummy

  3. bubba lubdubski

    foist! my foist foist. oh how sweet it is…I think i’ll go pull a load of snake venom and smear it all over my cubicle mates face…….afterall, whats good for gwyneth is good for us all!

  4. Josh Simpson

    Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve known this for a while….this bitch is insane. Naming your kid Apple and tons of other stuff. I’d hit it but I wouldn’t want to live with her….. Actually she looks like crap in this pic.

  5. ?zhez an old bitch..ztupid married zhit..have to zuck hiz ugly cock daily?

  6. she lookz like zhe part of the Addamz family with that fucked up smile..

  7. my comment

    That’s why she looks like an iguana in that pic!

  8. voldemort

    I think she is using it to audition for the role of Voldemort in the last Harry Potter movie.

  9. ?put the bitch back in the fatt zuit..thatz the only time zhe waz funny?

  10. jrzmommy

    you know you’re ugly when you use venom to make your prettier. She should try injecting the venom….that would at least help the rest of the world out.

  11. mdiz

    Cobra commander will be pissed.

  12. ssdd

    And this bitch once said………………………..

    “LONDON (KP International) – American actress Gwyneth Paltrow has ‘fessed up to falling in love with England, and that her adopted home’s people take the cake when it comes to brains.
    “Brits are far more intelligent and civilized than Americans,”

    ~Go fuck yourself ugly bitch.. take that husband of yours that can’t sing with you ..

  13. jrzmommy

    Know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.

  14. willtherealvictorpleasestandup

    yeah someone needs to tell her that nothing she puts on her face is going to make her attractive, except maybe a Jason mask.

  15. lambman

    I hope she ends up looking like Voldermort

  16. Geoff

    She took a couple of years of facial injections from Brad Pitt’s snake right? Maybe she’s obsessed with the story of Adam and Eve, naming her kid apple and rubbing snake venom goo all over her face. Since she wen’t off on Americans being stupid I haven’t gone to a movie that she’s been in. Limey.

  17. Lexoka

    That sounds dangerous…

  18. Sauron

    The shape of her face looks more the incarnate Fred Flindstone to me.

  19. Sauron

    Ugly girl!

  20. Lowlands

    Eeeww,you must be a latent homosexual if you wanna hump this girl!

  21. Sick of it ALL

    Is it me or have all the “has-been” actresses gone fucking crazy? This bitch is all macrobiotic and shit and she’s using stuff that has been milked from a viper, against his own will. God, I can’t wait until one of these assholes absorb some of that shit and die from poisoning.

    Nice pro-active, pro-environment action, Gwynnie you Pig.

  22. hendero

    Wow, who would have guessed Chris Martin would end up being the better catch of these two? Kind of like Kevin and Britney, but with a shred of talent

  23. Aja

    i hate this stuck up twat. Insulting Americans? She made her millions right here. American dollars. Plus, she is over rated. She really is no great beauty, never was.

  24. wedgeone

    Bitch is so not worth talking about anymore. Next!

  25. Italian Stallion

    So, who’s going to tell her the shit ain’t working?

  26. Americans are Stupid

    Haha I love what she said about Americans – and its sooo true!
    However using a product with snake venom is fucking cruel and stupid – just goes to show she’s a fucking stupid American too.

  27. Ichigo

    WTF snake venom is already hard enough to get and they’re using it for cosmetic purposes!?! that’s just sick. While this bitch is trying to look young again, Billy down the street who just got bit by a snake might die while unknowingly that his only cure is seeping into the pores of some skank!! God I fucking hate these celebrities who think the most ridiculous things will help their skin. I hope they die looking like a diseased mannequin.

  28. lolita

    maybe cuz we’re obsessed with celebrities and not cultured enough

  29. xtacynh3nny

    ew why would they want to put that shit on their face?

  30. cunt

    I am endowed with an over-sized clit, massive v-lips, and congential uterine odor. I am seeking a nice young lesbian looking to serve my perverse tendencies. Even one of you ugly sluts here will do. Any offers?

  31. ali

    ive heard this before. he ruins things by trying to crack jokes with every post he makes. then he ends up repeating them. its dumb.

  32. ali

    #30- your stab at trying to be funny is about as original as calling people that you CAN’T SEE ugly. do yourself a favor and run, far.

  33. cunt

    Lick the dripping elder mung from my hairy crusty anus, ali. What have you offered? Who said I was trying to be funny. Hmmm, seems your impotent analysis is incorrect. Surprise!!!!!
    Have a nice gay!

  34. ali

    “cunt”- just so long as you know. thats all i was really going for. yay for 6th grade potty humor!

  35. ali's massive cunt

    Damn sweet thang, you be gibbin me way mo’ intamalectual credit then I be deservin’ yo. I would like to hook up with you though. Like we can go fishin’ for brown trout. I take you out for an all you can eat buffet, you know the type of place a gravity-field-generating cow like yourself is way more accustomed to than you are to admit, and while downing your fourth cream and butter-laden potatoe I insert a small long hook in it. We let it sit for a while and then…zinggggg …away goes the reel as you mindlessly try to escape!!!
    (Folks, this big eatin’ girl falls for this shit every time.)

  36. Melde

    Why doesn’t she eat some dried tiger penis and rhino horn while she’s at it? Freak.

  37. Texas Tranny

    @ cunt….
    Sounds delicious, I’d LOVE to be your little bitch. I’m feminine enough to “pass” and I too have an oversized clit. tee hee

  38. Annina

    Guys, it’s just a stupid and ignorant journalist that understood nothing
    I work for a skincare company, we do have some product using sintethic viper venom but it’s really sintethic (it mimic the structure of the venom, but we can do in laboratories and avoiding side effects)
    The fact is that it works like an antiage (with a lighter effect than botox)

    So the poor Ms Paltrow has done nothing weird (except calling her daughter Apple) ;-)

  39. cunt

    Texas Tranny, can I call you TT? I would love “hook up” with you Darlin’!!
    xoxoxo, :0, 69, y not!!!!!!!

  40. Texas Tranny

    @cunt
    You can call me anything you want to call me.
    We can hook-up anytime, email me.

  41. Jeanie

    Wow. She looks incredibly bad in the picture. What happened to her career? Pretty soon she’ll be too old to get the good roles.

  42. wedgeone

    Wow – Texas Tranny finally got a hookup, and “it” has Gwennyth Paltrow to thank for that.

  43. Starscanfrighten

    When will she finally go away for good?

  44. the hallionator

    someone needs to tell her it isn’t working.

  45. cosmetologist

    She pays for snake venom beauty treatments. What a moron. Doesn’t she know that she can go to the Arizona desert and find hundreds of snakes that will bite her face for free.

  46. ali

    #35- seriously, i’m….speechless.

  47. i love cookies

    at least there’s a chance these dingleberries will go broke, then Gwen will have to milk the snakes herself!

  48. tessa

    Ewww, how much I hate her! She’s an ugly bitch who spreads her crap around Uk and USA! When she’s in USA, she talks shit about Brits, when she’s in the UK, she talks shit about Americans. What a messed up bitch and her I sing like shit husband!

  49. Texas Tranny

    @ cunt…….where did you go?

    Damn

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