After naming her first child Apple, Gwyneth Paltrow plans to give her new son an even worse name. Paltrow wants to name her second child Mortimer, after her godfather Steven Spielberg. Paltrow apparently affectionately refers to Spielberg as “Uncle Morty”.
It’s apparent that Gwyneth hates her children. Among other things. She might as well name him the Fairy Prince and send him to school in a dress. But I have a feeling that’s gonna happen anyway. Particularly if I get that substitute teaching job.
you guys forget the johnny cash song, A Boy Named Sue. perhaps there is a reason for this name:
And he said: “Son, this world is rough
And if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn’t be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you’d have to get tough or die
And it’s the name that helped to make you strong.”
He said: “Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn’t blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I’m the son-of-a-bitch that named you “Sue.’”
If you want your kid to get beat up at school that badly, why not just name him something normal, like Bob, and slap a KICK ME HARD note to his back as he heads out to school each day. It’s not that hard, Gwynneth, I do it every day.
I thought naming your child Mortimer went out with the consumption. In fact, isn’t Mortimer a last name or something? So you can’t really do anything but inherit it. I bet Mortimer was the name of Chris Martin’s uncle or something, therefore you must torture your unborn child with the horror of being named after the uncle that used to molest you as a child.
I think the name Mortimer is GREAT!
When i have kids i’ll name them after the dwarfs in: Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs
THEN THEN OMMMMMMG I’ll name one Bob The Builder! and i’ll name the other FRUBES*
* – Hint my sarcasm
Yes #49 her dad Bruce was Jewish..her mom is actress Blythe Danner (who I love) and of course that’s how she got her big “breaks” in Hollywood. It worked for Bridget Fonda, Kate Hudson etc…
By the way, the Jews ARE supposed to name the kids after the dead. That;s the idea.
I think she should name her next three kids Farfalla, Zoe McBlowey, and Rainbow Humper. In that order. No matter if they are boys or girls.
I kinda liked her, years ago. Now she’s just weird and attention seeking.
I overheard her, in a crowded Piggly Wiggly, before she got overblown, say that Tom loves the cock.
I guess Mortimer is better than Zowie, Dweezil, Moon Unit and Fifi Trixiebelle — maybe Chris Martin should try a little harder if he wants to do the rock star weird name thing. Maybe they should name him Bono, or Slash. Or maybe Sting.
If she has twins, cumquat and fuckwhat would be cute.
shes still pregnant? i thought took care of that by punching her tummy? Maybe the weirdo is naming the ghost?
shes still pregnant? i thought someone took care of that by punching her tummy? Maybe the weirdo is naming the ghost?
if they wanted it to be a tribute to Steven Spielberg, why not name the kid after a cool character from one of his films. Like Indiana or Quint. Hell, even Short-Round would be an improvement on Mortimer. But given the parents, maybe ET would be the most accurate.
#21. LOL!!
I really thought she’d go with Oranges for this one……
Gwyneth is a moron who is only famous because of her parents. She is a horrible actress and anyone who chooses to name a child Apple or Mortimer without being on acid is a complete freak!
Considering that her mom’s name is Blythe….. the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree….. literally. Poor little Mortie. He’s doomed for substance abuse coping methods.
MORTIMER?!
Wow. I have nothing to say here. I am at a loss for words. Which is rare.
sorry to ruin all ur bad mouthing guys…she actually named it Moses which i think is quite a nice name…
this is the second child she has named with a biblical reference!
give her a break…would you really care wat she was naming her child if she was just a lady on your street?
wow, he’s gonna get beat at school!
#68 go to church. please.
I love the name Apple and I dont see why people are so mean. If she likes the name fine its her baby. I know I’m only 19 but if I’m ever blessed with a little girl I would consider it.