Gwyneth Paltrow is the most expensive yoga instructor ever

May 16th, 2006 // 75 Comments
gpaltrow-yoga.jpg

Gwyneth Paltrow offered a private yoga lesson for Prince Charles’ charity and a fan has paid over $50,000 for the opportunity, with all of the cash being donated to the chaity.

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  1. BigJim

    For 50 grand she better be able to suck start a leave blower.

  2. I can think of better things to do with my money.

  3. BigJim

    Ha! Take that mother fuckers! I was first and I actually said something!

  4. SuperSpence

    If yoga is so great, why can’t it help this chick understand why giving your kid a name like Apple is a very bad idea?

  5. BigJim

    Do’h! I meant “leaf” blower.

  6. That’s all you have to do for 50G?! I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and kick back with a beer afterwards and i do it for FREE.

  7. BigJim

    Can you suck a golf ball through 20 feet of garden hose?

  8. Since I can suck a golf ball through a 30 ft. garden hose, that would be a YES.

  9. watcher

    i feel bad that she is so fat.

  10. BigJim

    All this talk about blow jobs is starting to piss me off again, since I don’t get them anymore.

  11. bigponie

    @8 can you blow a golf ball through a 30ft hose also

  12. xavierh

    I would laugh my ass off if it turned out Kevin Costner was the big spender. “C’mere honey, let me show you what a happy ending is….”

  13. BigJim

    Apologies in advance if this brings out HWMNBN:

    Stupid Tom, stupid Tom, stupid Tom
    Maybe if I act like that, that guy will pound my crack
    Cock loving cult member Tom, I don

  14. Big Jim: settle down there big boy….it makes Zanna sad when you are angry.

    @11…no, it makes the back of my eye sockets hurt.

  15. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    How vain. She thinks that her being nude would make it “really exceptional”? I used to like her, but now she just blows.

    Ba boom boom.

  16. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Sorry, not funny.

  17. Zanna

    All this talk reminds me of that time me and my friend Quinno were driving into the Aerosmith Concert at the “Gaaahden” in Boston and this guy yelled out in traffic – “I’ll give you 50.00 if you let me cum on your tits” and i was like, “Make it a hundred”. Then we laughed, then we danced..and were on our merry way.

    Then Quinno said to me, “Why do people act like it’s so bad that we would do something like that for money when we’ve been doing it for free all these years.”

    Seriously..HOW does not getting paid it make it any better? I could have been rich by now. Anger….it is welling up inside me.

  18. She’s looking a bit Kate Moss-ish in that pic. If she showed up to pleasure me after I just spent 50k, I’d beat her with a sack of doorknobs. Oh wait, looks like someone already did. There goes any chance of getting my 50k worth.

  19. WD-40

    If you penis worked before the yoga session, it sure as hell aint gonna work after it.

  20. Land-Man

    Like anyone wants to see that bitch naked. She is looking more and more like her character in Shallow Hal. And she’s one of those celebrities who thinks she’s really intelligent. It’s bukakke time for her.

  21. RichPort

    Someone needs to tell that guy who saved up his 50K that his willy might grow legs and run away if it sees her naked. Remember the Grammy dress mess? Not cute. I wonder if the mystery “guy” is Madonna…

  22. CruisingForCock

    Never saw the movie but I remember when she did that duet for Duets with Huey Lewis. Something about cruising together.

  23. pinky_nip

    You know what you call a girl who can suck a golf ball through 30 ft of hose?

    Darlin’

  24. BigJim

    Zanna:

    I think if you would have fucked the guy for free anyway, then it’s okay to take money from him. If the only way you’d fuck him is for money, then it might be crossing the line.

    My 2 cents.

  25. Italian Stallion

    @23 What’s up Darlin’?

    @20 Bukkake is my screen name in Poker online and people crack up when I win a hand because I tell them they just got Bukkaked, some get pissed though…….and I spelled it correctly, You should have Land-Checked it…..

  26. trulymadlydeeplytori

    Ok, so how much do we have to pay so that we never ever have to hear a story with this troll in it again?

  27. BigJim

    Peter North is the only one-man bukkake-er.

    I just saw the best porn scene ever with him and two blonde IDENTICAL TWINS. He fucked them both and then crammed it up the pooper of one of the IDENTICAL TWINS while the other IDENTICAL TWIN went down on her IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER.

    Then he hosed down the two IDENTICAL TWINS in their IDENTICAL faces.

    Did I mention that they were IDENTICAL? Fucking hot stuff, man.

  28. Now imagine if those IDENTICAL twins were fat midgets. Next stop, Flaccid City.

  29. Italian Stallion

    $50,000 is a lot of fucking money for a Yoga lesson. I only charge the ladies $10,000 to ride the Stallion and each ride comes with a complimentary tossed salad and a sore ass…………

  30. Ari

    No way does anybody want to see her naked, sorry.

    As for me, I don’t know if I could suck a golf ball through a garden hose, but I have no gag reflex. Worked long and hard (ha!) to overcome that. It all works out.

  31. Egotistical bitch. I’ve seen you naked, Gwynie, a few pics here and there of you nude by the pool when you were pogo-sticking Angelina’s new fuckboy. No matter what your mama told you, there’s nothing attractive about a skinny, flat-chested girl with wide hips. Your body looks weirdly constructed (and I’m certain after pushing out two kids it hasn’t improved). Married to your face, only one word comes to mind that adequately describes you – fugly. Cash your 50k, you yoga whore. I hope your client lets out a nasty fart while in the lotus position.

  32. Cratylus

    BigJim,

    Make like a tree, and get out of here. :P

  33. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Downward Facing Dog. That is all I have to say about that.

  34. PapaHotNuts

    She wants $50,000 to teach someone how to act like the little green guy from Star Wars? Fuck that.

  35. Fisher55

    god, when did blythe danner gain so much weight and grow long blonde hair?

    (i’ll keep trying, sorry)

  36. PapaHotNuts

    @22- Hello Darlin’

  37. BigJim

    #34:

    Many ways of stretching must you learn.

  38. Land-Man

    I make Peter North look like Ed Powers.

    I apologize for the spelling oversight. I am currently aboard Land-Force-One, on my way back to the Land-Mansion. I was the keynote speaker at the annual Monsters of Cock convention.

  39. PapaHotNuts

    @37
    Thank you Master.

  40. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    38 – Is that affiliated with the Circus Penis Circus?

  41. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    38 – Is that affiliated with the Circus Penis Circus?

  42. CruisingForCock

    @36 That’s right. Buy that plane ticket?

  43. krisdylee

    I can out-bend that cunt.

  44. PapaHotNuts

    @42 I’m on Southwest.com right now. Get that kitty purring and let it know Dr. HotNuts, OBGYN is coming over to perform a check-up.

  45. I saw her naked from behind in the movie “Moonlight and Valentino” Trust me, it ain’t worth $50,000

  46. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Dr. Nuts, what do you call that stuff that comes out of a pregnant woman’s vagina when you press on her stomach?
    Signed,
    Anxious Stomach Presser

  47. PapaHotNuts

    In my practice, I don’t deal with pregnant women. Only women 18-35 year-old, who have fetishes for fucking their OB. Sorry I couldn’t answer your question. But you could schedule an appointment and we could “talk” it over.

  48. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I find your practice racist against the race of preganant women who have done nothing but work hard and contribute to the American economy to find a slice of opportunity pie that was unattainable to them in their native Pregnant Island, which is beautiful this time of year as long as you don’t go around pressing stomachs. I’ll see you in court.

  49. Land-Man

    I spent a month on pregnant island one week.

  50. iambananas

    What an idiot

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