Gwyneth Paltrow is sparkly

February 9th, 2009 // 77 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow attended Jay-Z’s post-Grammy bash at Katsuya last night where I’m going to correctly assume she said a bunch of insipid stuff in a British accent:

JAY-Z: That’s a lovely outfit.
GWYNETH: Why thank you. It behooved me to dress accordingly for your American Hip-Hop soiree. I’m quite the “Ho for sure,” aren’t I? A ha ha ha.
JAY-Z: …. Okay, for real, who invited Gwyneth Paltrow?


  1. mimi

    I loves her! Pray for Amy!

  2. First

    First MIMI.

  3. tired of her old legs

    why does this fuck tart always insist on wearing short dresses to show off her aging legs? Oh I get it, she is trying to make us forget she has an ugly face

  4. Another hollywood plain ass old jane.

  5. ooohhhh ahhhh

    i LOVE this outfit.

  6. California Red

    wasn’t that clever last night when she introduced Radiohead? The inside joke was that she was calling Radiohead an influential band and not her hubby’s. Ha ha.

    Watching Gwenyth speaking made me wish Kate Bekensale had introduced all the acts.

  7. Savalas

    She looks like a tired, old spinster schoolteacher.

    Bake me a pie, you old hag!

  8. Danklin24

    That doesnt look like Gwyneth at all. weird.

  9. Danklin24

    #3 you’re an idtiot. Gwyneth Paltrow is gorgeous. Your taste in women sucks.

  10. Salla

    Love that dress! <3

  11. Jrz

    She looks stupid.
    And old.

  12. Danklin24

    If there is a woman out there who can stop me from having sex with men it ‘s Gwyneth.

  13. Dunk my donuts

    #9 let me guess, you think Madonna is a hot piece of ass too?
    you fucking Necrophiliac

  14. lisa

    agree with #11

  15. Geoff

    Solid Gold Middle Aged Disco Tranny!

  16. p0nk

    do all brits think looking like a disco ball is still in?

  17. Hags should live in caves

    She looks old now. The luster is gone. She has pretty hair. Other than that she is nothing, skinny legs. Pinched butter face. Her best days are gone. Bye bye old woman.

  18. pistola

    i don’t like this outfit… but she is one of the few classy celebs, so i’ll leave it alone.

  19. crackface

    She’s beautiful, but I think her cousin is way more breath-taking.

  20. Gwennie Poo

    Why would anyone hate me??

    Oh, right, because I’m plain Jane elitist with no ass and a crap attitude. Did I get it right??

  21. TortillaFlotilla

    #20 – don’t mind these weenies! You’re obviously a nice person, smart, and real. And yes, hot.

  22. hourglass

    looks very old.

  23. Mal Gusto

    That outfit is AWFULL!!! That it is on Paltrow is even worse.
    Oh yeah….ColdPlay blows!

  24. hm

    that’s so weird because i just watched shallow hal this morning.

  25. sarasa

    This woman has all the same properties as water: insipid, colorless, flavorless

  26. Russ

    Old granny.

  27. Lispy Larry, the video artist

    Where’sth ya titsth, thsweetie?

  28. nananana ne

    I am glad the majority of us can agree that the bitch is boooooooring loooking…

  29. #23, your spelling is awful
    #26 best looking gramma I ever saw
    #28 your name is boring..

  30. eastern european

    I can’t stand her, she has one of those faces when no matter how much makeup you apply it still looks absolutely plain and lifeless. Without makeup however it’s plain ugly

  31. lola

    She is beautiful naturally and takes great care of herself. Maybe she could gain 1 or 2 pounds, but you cannot deny this. Sorry you buy into the corporate media’s advertisements of a “woman” as the perpetual young girl, slathered in makeup, perfect breasts, tall, skinny, with perfect skin “woman.” Wrinkles come with respect for men, and they do for women to IMHO.

    These companies are trying to sell you their products and services that are unnecessary, while taking out the joys of being a woman. Love yourself now no matter what, not waiting for whatever you will be in the future.

  32. lola

    ..AND THAT DOES NOT mean to eat yourself into obesity either!

  33. Nick L

    I’ve decided to beat off to the Jessica Simpson pics instead.

  34. shanex

    I didn’t realize fetish shoes came in men’s sizes.

  35. mz

    Congrats to Coldplay for winning a grammy for Joe Satriani. It’s obvious that Gwyneth is as beautiful as Coldplay is talented.

  36. edamame

    Oh, that fucking RED STRING!
    She is actually turning into Madonna, Jr.
    (and her husband dresses like a more flamboyant Paula Poundstone)

  37. OZ

    I always knew the Tim Man was married.

  38. edamame

    At first, I was like, “What’s Morris Day doing hanging out with Gwyneth?!” and then I realized it’s Jay-Z. The guy’s expression (behind Jay-Z) is exactly the face I’d make.

  39. Linda

    She’s just an old, dried-up has-been, and her earrings look like centapeedes. I think, I’m going to vomit.

  40. gdj

    this old hag can act at least.. it’s what most other dolls we see on stage can’t.
    so ask for talented actresses on stage/screen and send the bimbos to naughtyamerica pls

  41. Binky

    I hope Gwen had an ok time there but –
    the last time I visited ‘Katsuya’ – I noticed there was some hair on the sushi.

  42. Cliff Notes

    Cliff Notes : # 41 You did learn a lot of Japanese though.
    Binky : Mushi Mushi ?

  43. Death whispers into Paltrow's ear

    Gwyneth wtf kinda name is that? Anyway, she is now an old person. You look old you are old. It’s really simple.
    No lips, no legs, no ass, no tits. She has nothing.
    Except wrinkles. I’ll give her that, the elderly stankin cunt.

  44. Tom K

    Jay-Z is so ugly! He looks like Joe Camel!!! What the fuck was Beyonce thinking marrying that ugly ape looking man/ At least he doesn’t beat her ass like Chris Brown did to Rihanna.

    Disturbia!!!! Disturbia!!!!!!!! LMAO

  45. Queefer Bukakke

    I’d totally spend some time inside her if given the chance. As long as she wore a locking ballgag so I didn’t have to listen to her.

  46. kate

    She is really pretty. But it is said she is wondering on ***sugarmingle. c om***, I do not know why. She wants to find a young man there? or just some celebrities she loves there? Really funny, haha!

  47. Sushi

    She is HOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!
    90% more attractive than these very young bitches.

  48. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Gangly old-ass inbred looking puke stain of a dried up has-been cunt. You fucking idiots that think she looks good need to go climb a tall building and fly.

  49. linda

    Hey, I’m an open minded girl from US, I’m interested in exotic things, photography, dating and sports…I have my photos on
    — Tallhub.Com —, I love tall guys!
    Do you love traveling and have some experience? Just find me out~~

  50. K

    Excellent commentary between Gwyneth and Jay-Z! LOL

Leave A Comment