Gwyneth Paltrow has breast-like objects

Here’s Gwyneth Paltrow shopping in Barcelona over the weekend, and I’m not gonna lie, I downloaded these based on the thumbnails that led me to believe her bare breasts were GOOPing out of her shirt. Turns out it’s a nude colored bra which is a giant kick in my nuts. Imagine you’re a small child coming downstairs on Christmas morning expecting a tree full of presents only to find out your mom’s really a dude and you were adopted during a drunken weekend in San Frans. But why are there pictures of you breastfeeding? That about sums it up.

Photos: Fame, Splash News