Gwyneth Paltrow’s Starving Her Kids Now

March 14th, 2013 // 48 Comments
Madame Butterfly
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Because carbs and gluten are the food stuff of peasants, Gwyneth Paltrow is now putting her cherubs Macklemore and Jamiroquai on whatever fad diet she’s on because you know what chaffs your yoga cocoon the wrong way? Rotund rugrats. The Daily Mail reports:

In her new cookbook, called ‘It’s All Good,’ which is released next month, Miss Paltrow devotes an entire chapter to grains but is deeply sceptical about them.
She writes: ‘Every single nutritionist, doctor and health-conscious person I have ever come across . . . seems to concur that (gluten) is tough on the system and many of us are at best intolerant of it and at worst allergic to it.
‘Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs’. [Ed. Note: So it's only starving if your hunger is non-specific. Makes sense. - SW]

And naturally when nutritionists were reached for comment, their reactions were, “Oh, goddammit.”

London-based public health nutritionist Yvonne Wake said Miss Paltrow was being ‘foolish’ and that she could be doing her children harm.
She said: ‘I think it’s not a good idea, especially because her children are are thin – I’ve seen pictures of them.
‘Kids need carbohydrate because it gives them glycogen which keeps your brain going.
‘Without it they won’t be able to think straight as their brain won’t be functioning and their thinking patterns will be slow.
‘It’s like when kids don’t have any breakfast – they will do less well at school and won’t be able to run around with the other children’.
Dr Carina Norris, a registered nutritionist, added: ‘Far too many people self-diagnose themselves with allergies, or cut out wheat to lose weight, or because they think it’s bad for them.
‘Not only are they making their lives difficult, cutting out such an important food group shouldn’t be done without the advice of a medical professional, as it could put them at risk of nutrient deficiencies.’

So basically Gwyneth Paltrow is turning her kids into holisitc hypochondriac anorexics just like her which is good because it’s not like their bodies are developing or anything. “What’s that, Moses? You’re worried the other children are growing faster than you because they don’t have rickets? I know what will cheer you right up. Two licks of parsnip! Oh, how I spoil you and your sister. Mummy can’t help it.”

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. She’s becoming the Jenny McCarthy of the nutrition world. Wonderful.

  2. quix

    She didn’t say they’re not eating carbs, just that they’re not eating gluten or processed grains.

    • BlinkyTheFish

      Think maybe the point is that her kids are hungry. Sure it’s unhealthy to stuff your kids with crap. But if a growing kid is hungry, give them fruit, or nuts, or SOMETHING.

  3. Can’t help notice that The Daily Mail called her “Miss Paltrow.” Did she get divorced all of a sudden? Or is England so ashamed of Coldplay that they refuse to acknowledge Chris Martin’s existence?

  4. I suggest more protein in Gwyneth’s diet. I have a steady supply ready for her.

  5. Gwyneth Paltrow Side Boob MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Children can live on a diet of pomposity and the beautiful pure omniscient inner light of their mother, if that mother is me, right? Oh, and if you refer to me as ‘American’ again I’ll slit your throat. Did I mention Beyonce is my black friend?”

  6. Ssusan

    I hate making a serious comment here but no, this is not equivalent to jenny mccarthy. it’s entirely possible to live just fine without eating (for example) wheat flour, corn, rice, or something potato-ish (basically, no big starches) as a staple. it’s a bit more expensive, takes some effort, and you end up having to eat smaller meals more frequently, but it’s not unhealthy if you know more or less what you’re doing (which I presume this tedious person does.) i think most of this gluten allergy stuff is crap, but if staying lean is important to you this really is the best way to do it. I have been doing it for, um, four years. I eat pasta or bread maybe once a week.

    • Excellent. Now, have you published a cookbook stating this, based on no medical or nutritional education whatsoever? Therein lies the difference. Feel free to eat or not eat whatever you want, but don’t preach it as gospel based on nothing more than your opinion, either.

    • It’s nice that you’ve found a way to stay “lean”. Are you also a developing child under ten years of age?

      • erica

        Exactly, low-carb diets are all about looking thin rather than being healthy, in large part because carbs absorb and hold a lot of water (i.e. ‘bloating’) in a way that fat and proteins does not. so low carb = tighter, more gaunt appearance. perfect for children!

    • BlinkyTheFish

      So it’s cool for your growing kids to be hungry? Surely she could stuff some organic bananas in them. My issue with Paltrow is she veers from eat-everything foodie to diet fiend a few times a year. Perhaps moderation throughout would be a better way to go than one minute eating fried doughnuts your chef friends whipped up for you and the next drinking kale juice all day bar the quarter portion of boiled skinless chicken breast that is your dinner.

    • Frank Burns


  7. She was told that if you name them after food, they don’t have to eat.

  8. blah blah blah

    That is one crazy bitch

  9. It must be difficult to be an empty headed trend slave. First these people thought sugar was going to kill them, then salt, then cholesterol, then fat, then carbs, and now they’ve fixated on fucking gluten of all things.

    You win ok, food is poison…now hurry up and starve to death.

  10. Inner Retard

    Starting to think maybe Child Services should be involved in raising these kids.

  11. ace11

    She’s weird

    But has nice cans

  12. Bonky

    Gwyneth Paltrow wants everyone to think she is some sort of British royal with a history of culture and class. That skank was born in Los Angeles, her mom was some Quaker from PA and her dad was a Russian Jew. I fncking hate anglophiles.

  13. Randal

    Not only does Ms. Paltrow deliver a solid “kapow” on the red carpet, she also shows her scientific prowess with the lovely “Goop”. No doubt her wonderful children will have an edge, being raised by such a beautiful and brilliant Mum!


  14. the wrecker

    “actors” are genuinely the most often deluded, trend sucking ding-dongs, regurgitating whatever it was their last ding dong pal spouted at them inside their life-bubble of narrowly-perceived reality and even worse than d-u-m-m, completely self-obsessed, wildly insecure but wildly narcissistic nut cases are the children they raise. Meandering empty shallow mental cases who turn out to be…….Lindsay Lohan or Scientologists or Whoever Pitt-Jolie.

  15. Bill

    Sheesh – you know, what’s good for an adult who (I’m assuming due to artificial Hollywood standards of beauty) is very… fixated… on weight and maintaining that ideal. Point is – for an average healthy woman to -maintain- weight (for a relatively active woman) is 1600-2000 a day. Couch potatoes require less.

    Children though require a MINIMUM of 1000 – 2200 depending on age/gender (younger == lower) and because of their higher metabolism and even more if they are highly active in sports.

    What’s good for -her- specifically is -not- going to necessarily be good for her children.

    And what’s with the kick against glutens? Believe it or not, the human species is omnivorous, plants/grains or meat. Doesn’t matter, we are capable of digesting any of it. Our biggest problem these days isn’t -what- we’re eating most of the time, it’s HOW MUCH we’re eating when it comes to obesity related issues (diabetes/excessive weight/etc).

  16. Gwyneth Paltrow Side Boob MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I am not a Fan; But I am so fricken Hot for her Body

  17. I’m sorry, my judgment has been momentarily impaired by the power of side boob. Woman knows how to play her cards.

  18. Gwyneth Paltrow Side Boob MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    you can see her ribs…

  19. reinhard heidrich

    Just put her on the train with the rest of the scum.there will be no processed grains or anything else at the “re-education camp”

  20. um

    it’s not always good for kids and doesn’t always help them grow. i’ve had three doctors tell me my short height (my entire family is tall) is because of my celiac disease which went undiagnosed when i was a child – and i ate tons of wheat. if you don’t have celiac disease, though, it’s odd to avoid it.

  21. Anonymous RD

    I am a Registered Dietitian (AKA a nutritionist who actually went to college for nutrition and completed all the requirements to provide professional advice on diet and health). Yes, there are people who are intolerant of gluten (Celiac Disease), and yes gluten-sensitivity is under-diagnosed. But there is absolutely no reason for someone who can tolerate gluten to avoid it. I am not sure who these “nutritionists” are that she is referring to, but maybe they should re-evaluate their suggestions. Gluten is not the enemy and don’t “starve” your children.

    • moreija

      Her nutritionists probably think that you’re misinformed, and I would agree with them after reading literature written by people with more credentials than you.

    • Taylor

      Agree or disagree, one reason one may want to avoid grains or foods containing gluten is that, ounce for ounce, grains are generally less nutrient/micronutrient/antioxidant/etc. dense than lost of vegetables and grass fed meat. If you eat a plate with Broccoli, Kale, and Grass Fed Beef, you are nutritionally ahead than eating Broccoli, Brown Rice, and Grass Fed Beef, in my opinion.

      So that’s one very understandable reason why one without celiac might avoid gluten/grains. As a registered dietician, this seems like common sense?

  22. She is literally the definition of hate fuck.

  23. whatthe

    That has to be the most misleading and taken out of context title you’ve come up with, Superfish. I’m not a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow by any means, but she is obviously not starving her children.

  24. Rob

    Reading through these comments reminds me of how defensive and agro unhealthy eaters get. Just because you lack self-control doesn’t mean you need to get so angry at people who choose to eat healthy.
    It reminds me of when someone mentions that they are vegetarian or vegan, and all the meat eaters start hurling insults for no reason.

  25. The Fonz

    What nutrients are there in Gluten? And the American diet obviously works you fucking fat fucks

  26. venekor

    Only carbs are probably the key to humans success, without carbs our population would still be in the millions. What do poor people eat most of? Carbs, they’re cheap and easy to grow. We all know poor people are all dying from obesity due to carbs…

  27. Hipster Diabetic

    There’a a sincere lack of sanity in this discussion. Low carb is not dangerous, it’s probably more natural than high carb low fat, and her kids look just bloody fine.

  28. inkydink

    her poor kids are going to be hungry little wimps.

  29. Leaute

    Yeah, I usually think she’s super pretentious, but as someone with a gluten allergy, I can’t shit on her too much for this one. I didn’t read that as her kids going hungry; I read it for what it was: they have a hunger for bread and carbs and all kinds gluteny things. Which, you know, as someone with Celiac, I can relate to missing breads and regular pastas simply because I enjoyed eating them. It doesn’t mean the kids are starving. There’s plenty of ways to keep kids healthy while withholding gluten, etc. You have to be careful about it, of course, and make sure they’re still getting what they need to grow healthy and strong and all that jazz. I will say that I do hope she’s consulting with medical professionals to make sure she’s, you know, doing it right and not just going by something she read on the internetz or something.

    Goddammit, you all kind of made me defend Gwyneth Paltrow.

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