Gwyneth Paltrow’s Starving Her Kids Now

Because carbs and gluten are the food stuff of peasants, Gwyneth Paltrow is now putting her cherubs Macklemore and Jamiroquai on whatever fad diet she’s on because you know what chaffs your yoga cocoon the wrong way? Rotund rugrats. The Daily Mail reports:

In her new cookbook, called ‘It’s All Good,’ which is released next month, Miss Paltrow devotes an entire chapter to grains but is deeply sceptical about them.
She writes: ‘Every single nutritionist, doctor and health-conscious person I have ever come across . . . seems to concur that (gluten) is tough on the system and many of us are at best intolerant of it and at worst allergic to it.
‘Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs’. [Ed. Note: So it’s only starving if your hunger is non-specific. Makes sense. – SW]

And naturally when nutritionists were reached for comment, their reactions were, “Oh, goddammit.”

London-based public health nutritionist Yvonne Wake said Miss Paltrow was being ‘foolish’ and that she could be doing her children harm.
She said: ‘I think it’s not a good idea, especially because her children are are thin – I’ve seen pictures of them.
‘Kids need carbohydrate because it gives them glycogen which keeps your brain going.
‘Without it they won’t be able to think straight as their brain won’t be functioning and their thinking patterns will be slow.
‘It’s like when kids don’t have any breakfast – they will do less well at school and won’t be able to run around with the other children’.
Dr Carina Norris, a registered nutritionist, added: ‘Far too many people self-diagnose themselves with allergies, or cut out wheat to lose weight, or because they think it’s bad for them.
‘Not only are they making their lives difficult, cutting out such an important food group shouldn’t be done without the advice of a medical professional, as it could put them at risk of nutrient deficiencies.’

So basically Gwyneth Paltrow is turning her kids into holisitc hypochondriac anorexics just like her which is good because it’s not like their bodies are developing or anything. “What’s that, Moses? You’re worried the other children are growing faster than you because they don’t have rickets? I know what will cheer you right up. Two licks of parsnip! Oh, how I spoil you and your sister. Mummy can’t help it.”

Photos: Getty, Splash News