Gwyneth Paltrow Goes To The Emmys:
A Profile in Courage

I sat this one on the back burner yesterday to focus on Arnold’s new book, but the latest issue of GOOP graced the Internet as it does every Thursday, and as a special treat to all you everyday moms out there, Gwyneth Paltrow shares her Emmys preparation process which literally starts in Paris and ends in instructing your driver to navigate around Audis – EWWWW!! On top of providing handy tips on organic tea-based make-up products and hotel recommendations you could never afford, Gwyneth also opens up about the intense personal struggles of dressing fancy and reading words off a screen. She could’ve died:

4:59 pm
It’s a minute to show time, and I find my seat in the second row (right behind the cast of 30 Rock!) The seat filler before me was sweaty … so my chair was wet. Gross!

7:50 pm
I present the award for “Outstanding Comedy Series.” The teleprompter clearly doesn’t work, so I ad lib.

You just read both of those: Gwyneth wrote the Emmys herself, and perspiration is for poor people. You know, it really must be something to live in a world where having your sweat glands replaced with Faberge eggs is as simple as shaving which is why I always love these little GOOPdates. – I call them GOOPdates. – It’s like Gwyneth is spoon-feeding us just the tiniest taste of her life before tossing it in the incinerator with all the other unicorn horn dining utensils. Because as GOOP Tip #558 informs us: “I know you all have scurvy.”

Photo: Splash News, WENN