How Dare Mere Muggles Tell Gwyneth Paltrow Not To Ride Her Vespa?!

Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow was filmed cutting off a school bus (above) with her Vespa as her daughter rode behind her because the laws of physics are a beggar’s game. Except apparently the lowly mortals who call themselves “school chiefs” felt they had the authority to dictate Gwyneth’s means of conveyance while sloughing her children into their ramshackle of a teaching facility. There’s not even a gluten-free tapas bar! What happened to education for the wealthy in this country? Page Six reports:

A source told us: “The scooters had been convenient for zipping around Los Angeles traffic, and dropping the kids off at school without having to wait with other parents and kids in the car-pool line. But after Gwyneth was photographed on the Vespa pulling out in front of a bus, school chiefs reprimanded her and said they’d rather she and Chris didn’t bring the kids to school on scooters.”

While Chris Martin’s rep couldn’t give less fucks, Gwyneth’s has already responded and get ready for a giant horseshit pill to swallow:

“This story is not true. It was last year that they would occasionally drive the kids to school on scooters. This year, the kids take the bus.”

Gwyneth Paltrow’s kids take the bus. That’s what she expects us to believe here. Her rep could’ve said the children each ride a Pegasus that lands safely on the roof where it eats enchanted carrots until it’s time to go home, and I would’ve sat here going, “Yup, that happens. That definitely happens.” But the bus? Jesus Christ, lady.

Photo: TMZ