Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘Steam Your Vagina’; Medical Science: ‘Yeah, Don’t Do That’
In the latest issue of GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow advocates the use of vaginal steaming which naturally took the Internet by storm because “Haha! Pee-pee parts!” is the only way to accurately describe online journalism:
The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam: You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it.
As for the medical science behind fumigating your noonerhole with Hogwarts steam (close enough), surprise, it’s horseshit. People reports:
In a detailed post to her blog, Dr. Gunter warns, “Steam is probably not good for your vagina. Herbal steam is no better and quite possibly worse.”
She explains, “Mugwort or wormwood or whatever when steamed, either vaginally or on the vulva, can’t possibly balance any reproductive hormones, regulate your menstrual cycle, treat depression, or cure infertility.”
Dr. Gunter also takes issue with Paltrow’s claims that the steam “cleanses your uterus.” She writes “Steam isn’t going to get into your uterus from your vagina unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure and MOST DEFINITELY NEVER EVER DO THAT.”
Fortunately, we live in a sane, rational country where people don’t take the medical advice of beautiful blonde celebrities leaving thousands of children dead in their wake as a measles outbreak continues to grow as we speak. No one’s that fucking stupid. Amirite?