Gwyneth Paltrow’s Son Loves Old Navy? GASP!

“No, wait, yup. His eye’s in the shot.”
Dammit, Moses.

When we last left Gwyneth Paltrow, she was demanding Washington properly label foods containing GMOs except she’s too late because her son Moses loves to shop at Old Navy like an unwashed peasant which is clearly the fault of those GMO.. things. That has to be why people keep saying they’re so bad on the Internet. It has to be. Us Weekly reports:

In a recent Goop newsletter, the actress and site founder admitted that Moses, 9, her son with ex Chris Martin, absolutely adores the affordable clothing brand. “My son Moses is the inspiration for the concept in this week’s issue. He loves Old Navy. Specifically the bathing suits and shirts (he has a white polo shirt with a ‘tie’ on it he wears all the time),” the star said. (Unfortunately Moses’ beloved shirt, which originally sold for $14.94, is no longer available.)
While Moses’ swimsuit style was on point in a recent family vacation, as shown in Paltrow’s Instagram snaps of a trip to Mexico, he’s looking for a more permanent tie-in with his favorite store. “He wanders into the office and asks with regularity if we are selling Old Navy in the goop shop yet.”

“So here’s where I had to face the most difficult decision a mother will ever have to make: Do I let my son dress like a common street rat in $14 polos, or do I use Krav Maga to force him into a $799 T-shirt that says ‘Baller’ in rhinestones? On the one hand, I could be crushing his independent (yet clearly misguided) spirit, but more importantly, I might seriously disturb the rich vaginal stew from my latest steaming in the process. Is this a price I’m willing to pay so my son doesn’t look like I drive him to school in a minivan – or a sedan, gross – before heading to some job I hate just so we aren’t homeless? The struggle is real, ladies. The struggle is real.”

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