Gwyneth Paltrow Gets That D

Gwyneth Paltrow is incredibly close to the common woman, and you can tell because she says things like, “I’m incredibly close with the common woman,” which is obviously what women who aren’t Gwyneth Paltrow prefer to be called. They love it. So naturally she deserves to be on the cover of SELF’s Mother’s Day issue where’ll she empower common asses by dropping such bombshells as “Gwyneth Paltrow has sex.”

Along with Paltrow’s deeper sense of personal acceptance has come an increased willingness to speak her mind. “We have this idea that you can’t be a mother and a businesswoman and like to have sex!” she says, both genuine and amused. “How is an intelligent woman a sexual being? It’s really hard to integrate those things.” She pauses, then shrugs. “Like, ‘Gwyneth has sex? Really?’ It doesn’t seem to go together. But I think it’s important, as mothers and as women contributing to society in whatever way we each are, that our true sexuality doesn’t get lost or put aside.”

And if you’re thinking all of this sounds familiar, Gwyneth Paltrow bragged about fucking – I’m sorry, “vaginal cock maga” – last year in an interview with Women’s Health, which means her words no longer posses the potency of a freshly steamed vagina or bee-stung capillaries. Leftovers, you plebeian cunt, you served us leftovers! MELTING! I’m melting! Oh, no, I’m melting…

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photos: Instagram/Self