Gwyneth Paltrow says we can’t eat octopuses anymore

I hope you didn’t bring an octopus sandwich to work for lunch because Gwyneth Paltrow says we can’t eat them anymore. Dammit (octopus tacos actually are pretty damn good). She wrote to her staffers at Goop (via Instagram):

Octopuses are too smart to be food. They have more neurons in their brains than we do. I had to stop eating them because I was so freaked out by it. They can escape from sea world and shit by unscrewing drains and going out to sea. #tangent

Octopuses have more neurons in the brain than humans? So what. Cows have four stomachs — that’s twice as many as Jonah Hill — and I’m literally eating a cheeseburger as I type this. Of course this begs the question: If Gwyneth Paltrow learned that small batch quinoa from virgin Andean soil in Bolivia could feel pain, what would she eat?