Gwyneth Paltrow & Ryan Murphy Are Making a Musical. Just.. Goddammit

September 21st, 2011 // 37 Comments

If you made a list of people who every time they speak you want to shove a rabid tiger down your urethra, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ryan Murphy would be at the top of that list. So, of course, high off their Emmy win for her cameo on Glee, they want to make a musical together. E! News reports:

Murphy has even bigger plans for them. He wants to make another movie together. It’s been five years since he directed Paltrow in the big screen adaptation of Augusten Burroughs’ bestselling memoir, Running With Scissors.
“We want to do a musical together,” Murphy told me at the Emmys. “An original—I want to write an original movie for Gwyneth and Maya Rudolph, both of whom I’m great friends with.”
He smiled, “That’s all I will say.”

I’ll let this thing slide only if it’s named Dave Grohl’s a Meanie Homophobe-Head and The Hand-Painted Wallpaper Flavored Water. Also, Gwyneth Paltrow has to be swung around by the same wire team as Spider-man: Turn Off The Dark. (Just tell her they’re classically trained in Shakespearean ropecraft.)

Photo: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. RoboZombie

    She needs some good ol’ Proletarian butt sex!

    • terry

      You damn right Rob! That face was made to take a fat load of man juice! I’d do her in the pooper, cooch and mouth. I’d tear that Jewish tail up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Now, where does Natalie Potman live? He he!

  2. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d tap that goop.

  3. Sloppy seconds!

  4. Maggie Mae

    With this woman’s busy schedule and social calender, when the hell does she have time to be a mother? And I’m not talking about the daily chores of taking care of her children, because I realize that she has nannys for that. I’m talking about her kids knowing that she even exists!!

  5. forrest gump

    please God, HELP THE UNITED STATES.
    ……………..americans will buy just anything these day’s!!

  6. God is Black

    High maintenance= yes, Major Snob and Bitch= yes , must love coldplay music= yes BUT PIC#3 ,she has a fine body for a hard fucking! Love to lick those Kosher long legs……..P.S. Is that Laurence Fishburne in the background ?I didn’t know he was in the Smurf Movie? Montana must be proud?

  7. Somebody really needs to slushy this chick. And by slushy I mean man slushy.

  8. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pins.

  9. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, I guess I’d suck on her muff so hard that she’d forget her own name. But, afterward, I’d hate myself (a little).

  10. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Slouchy.

  11. ZigZagZoey

    For such small boobs, she can sag like nobody’s business. DROOPY McGOOP. I can’t even imagine how much more she can sag as she ages.
    Very sick of seeing her wear saggy damn dresses too. I swear she does it because she thinks it makes her look thinner.

  12. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she carrying that three quarter sized Laurence Fishburne by the junk?

  13. Ryan Murphy: “That’s all I will say.”

    Fuck, if only…

  14. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Gwyneth’s here for the photocall for Contagion, but Laurence Fishburne thinks he’s going into space.

  15. Kieran E

    I’m always amused to see really negative articles about Gwyneth Paltrow, because I have no direct knowledge of why she is so hated (from what I gather she is self obsessed and entitled to a major degree, but I really couldn’t say for sure), so I just focus on the fact that she’s attractive, is a good actress and can sing – her negatives must be really high to offset all of that.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      It’s because she’s a cunt. You are fortunate to not have had it smooshed in your face yet.

  16. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    Sand
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, a rich bouquet. One spoonful more of your organically grown parsley and they should smell perfect.

  17. EMINEM21314

    Who said to her she could sing? who said that? because she can’t man… is more horrible than kkardashian and I did not believe to say that ever never!! her husband is to blame that’s for sure but coldplay stinking sucks, should not give advice to others we have already so manycraps in music…..this is baaaad…

  18. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    Queequeg
    Commented on this photo:

    What is she doing with her left hand and why is he smiling?

  19. Lydia

    why would anyone want to see this ugly, talentless freak do anything with my question! she can’t act and she really can’t sing! britney spears probably sings better…if we ever hear her real voice.

  20. CranAppleSnapple

    What a butt-ugly dress. Please never take it off, gWhyneth.

  21. Jim

    Ull r nasty! Loved it

  22. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    Arzach
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate her and yet I want to fuck her so much

  23. Ruth

    No way! I love Goop!

  24. she looks like the retarded powerpuff, Cuntie

  25. I have no opinion on her otherwise, but in this photo she looks like a hunchy-shouldered diaper-dressed muppet-faced asshole.

  26. Gwyenth Paltrow Ryan Murphy
    Dharma Initiative Beans
    Commented on this photo:

    After great thought, Morpheus took and swallowed the blue pill. At which point the Matrix dumped him out the side of a moving van with nothing but a set of purple satin scrubs, andf the cryptic instructions: “Follow the White Beaver.”

  27. Jam

    JEBUS she has a messed up face. I guess for a fleeting moment she was kind of “meh” in the 90′s.

  28. lils

    Fuck. See, I watch glee. Show is funny and provides a whole hour of silly laughs. But Season 2 was a mess, and mostly because this bitch. It’s not like she can’t sing (not everyone in the cast can, actually), her first guest appearance was funny and then the show started revolving around her. And more than 30 minutes of her is god damn annoying.

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