Gwyneth Paltrow Loves Her GOOP Store Heist

So, you know how it seemed strange that thieves would steal a bunch of shit from the GOOP store that even Floyd Mayweather would consider to be arrogant representations of excessive wealth? Well, Gwyneth Paltrow’s own mother, Blythe Danner, may have let the Norwegian forest cat out of the hand-stitched lamb uterus tote (Shut up, Fish usually makes these up.) on the fact that the whole thing may have been a publicity stunt. Via Page Six:

Though it seems the robbery was real, Paltrow’s mom, Blythe Danner, told us Thursday that Gwynnie’s not too distraught about losing nearly $200,000 in merchandise because it’s all good p.r.

Where most “common woman” entrepreneurs might consider losing $200,000 in merchandise as somewhat of a setback, Gwynnie — and I repeat that nickname with the highest possible level of contempt — took it on the chin almost as if she wasn’t even surprised by it, which means somewhere in Calabasas, this conversation is happening right now:

“Kim, have you seen this GOOP shit? This should be our headline!”
“But mom, your plan didn’t even make sense. How can DASH even physically have sex with Foot Locker, let alone make a porn of it?”
*ring of flames encircles butt*
“INSOLENCE! OBEY OR I RECLAIM YOUR SOURCE OF POWER!!”

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