How Many Affairs Is Gwyneth Paltrow Having?

Despite having Chris Martin’s initial tattooed on her pubic bone, Defamer (via former Gawker editor’s Neetzan Zimmerman’s new startup app Whisper) is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow had or is having an affair with Kevin Yorn. Whether that’s on top of or in place of the one she was reportedly having with millionaire hotel owner Jeff Sober is never really mentioned, but supposedly this is the real affair that Vanity Fair found out about, but then decided not to publish because celebrities won’t let you tongue their buttholes if you talk about the other tongues going into their buttholes. It’s a butthole eat butthole business. I can’t stress that enough. *scooches forward in seat* What?

Photos: Splash News