Gwyneth Paltrow is Limber And Other News

October 13th, 2011 // 51 Comments

- Ryan Seacrest makes Julianne Hough wear tuxedos now. [TooFab]

- Taylor Lautner is only interested in llama vagina. [Dlisted]

- Gwyneth Paltrow realizing her coffee wasn’t made from beans hand-delivered from Colombia this very morn. [Lainey Gossip]

- Aly Michalka tanned her cleavage. Give her her cookie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Johnny Depp’s Lone Ranger movie is back on but sans werewolves. IS THERE NO GOD?!? [FilmDrunk]

- Adrianne Curry is still being Adrianne Curry. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Deena Cortese sings now. Oh, good. [BuzzFeed]

- Justin Timberlake prefers this over any other vagina at the drop of a hat. [Popoholic]

- Kourtney Kardashian bought her 21-month-old son a snake. Why not? [The Fab Life]

- Braless Celebrities: A retrospective in empowering women and looking at their nips. [theCHIVE]

- Hilary Swank is sorry she made a bunch of money wishing a crazy Czechnyan president Happy Birthday. [Starpulse]

- Christopher Columbus vs. Captain Kirk. [Heavy]

- January Jones continues to barely look like she had a baby out of spite just last month. [PopSugar]

- The 35 Hottest Ring Girls Ever [Bleacher Report]

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Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.


  1. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew… I can smell the poor.

  2. God is Black

    Seriously Fish, Do you have a secret love-hate crush on Gwyneth? Every week you have a post of her? “I’d buy that for a dollar!”

  3. CranAppleSnapple

    It’s a good thing those pants have spandex in them. Her ass is heading south.

  4. Richard McBeef

    my sheer contempt for the woman could probably work up a boner with the fortitude to hate fuck her for half an hour or so.

  5. Tyrone Biggums

    Look a cunt spreading her cunt.

  6. My fondest hope is that she’s actually doing a parkour over that railing. My next fondest hope is that there’s a thousand foot drop below it.

  7. Is that goop I see coming out?

  8. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t really care for her myself but I’d still hide my purple warhead in her missile silo. She was better as a red head in the Iron Man movies.

  9. ace11

    great body

    have to give her credit

  10. Deacon Jones

    I’d do her doggy style.

    And right before climax, shove the tip of a Cheese-In-A-Can in her mouth and depress the nozzle.

  11. Venom

    I hate myself for wanting to fuck this idiot bitch.

  12. When I see pics of her I’m always reminded of that cat in the old tuna fish commercials.

  13. Brad Hallston

    Honk if you’re pretty sure she has a dick

  14. After a busy night with the entire soccer team, Gwynneth airs out her pussy so she doesn’t have to bother with a shower before showing up at home.

  15. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “Would you be an absolute lamb and bring this back and tell them I wanted SOY milk? Humans really aren’t supposed to be consuming dairy—tell them that, too.”

  16. Frank Burns

    Any chance she had a moment of self-reelection, and decided to jump off the bridge?

  17. AC

    I don’t know what it is about Paltrow, but looking at her is like looking into a mirror that reflects only my feelings of White Guilt.

  18. hollywood_hillbilly

    Stretch all you want, the guillotine awaits.

  19. Arzach

    Today is my “Tell a lie day” and I want to say that I love this woman, and that she does not deserve all those sick sexual thoughts, I do not want to hate fuck her like everybody else.
    Damn! Those where many lies.

  20. forrest gump

    being fat like any other american has the same result…………………..JOBLESS!!

  21. slank

    I’d give me left nut to get my hands on whatever she’s wearing under the workout tights.

  22. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Your body so fit and hit and you are rock star .

  23. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet her asshole is as pink as they can be. All pale girls have very pink assholes. Not that I mind. It’s just a fact.

  24. Savalas

    “Hmmm, I wonder how many of the peasants are staring, admiring me right now? I’m so happy I can bring a little joy to their dreary lives.”

  25. Prolapsed Liver

    I’d like to rummage through her back passage after I dine on her remains.

  26. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    God, I love her.

  27. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Dharma Initiative Beans
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently the location scout for this movie thought we’d think these were pics of Kristen Bell in her hot-ass yoga pants, filming for “When In Rome” a few years back.

    Dammit…it worked.

  28. paul kirkwood

    Would love to sqeeze the cheeks of her ass. while sticking my tonge in her mouth

  29. JANE

    I’m more baffled by everyones loser “hate” comments? You ladies wish you can look like her at her age, and you guys wish your lady can look like her at her age. People have no lives, I swear.

    She looks awesome, good for her.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      You’ve obviously never seen or read any interview she gave. That’s why people hate her. She has an insufferable, pompous personality. If someone is a total asshole their looks get cancelled out.

  30. You have to be limber to keep your head up your own ass so much.

  31. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Gwyneth

    Thanks for sharing.

  32. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Such common way to ready-up for vigorous physical activity.

  33. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    It was a bit like a car accident, had to slow down to take a look. The tbulroe with these shows is that it really showcases the flaws of live performances. When you are in a big stadium and singing along to your favorites, you often are having too much fun to realize the performer just plain sounds bad. Sometimes, the true talent is in the studio where multiple takes get it just right. The ones that are real, true, see you next year talent are the ones that carry the tune, stay on key and keep you entertained. Sadly, there weren’t a whole bunch of them on stage on Sunday.

  34. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s looking more and more like her mom Blythe Danner every day.

  35. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “….ewww, er, I mean, mmmm! That smells delicious. It smells like the fetus juice on a, on a furry little duckling, born on Easter Morning. Innocent and full of hope….yesssss, yesss”

  36. Gwyneth Paltrow Stretching Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to unconsciously uncouple dat ass

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