Here’s Gwyneth Paltrow in Barbados over the weekend where she showed off her “perfect in every way,” GOOP-honed body. And for someone who survives solely on a sprig of asparagus in a white pheasant reduction sauce daintily served by Dickensian children (I’m just saying words now.) she actually has an ass on her. Which is also amazing considering her rib cage is trying to eat her torso to survive. Then again, that’s what happens when you spend years standing too close to Madonna, but at least now we know they never ran around playing grab-ass or else this photo would’ve been nothing but a gray pancake with a talon sticking out of it. Or basically Samantha Ronson‘s face.
Check Out More Photos of Gwyneth in a Bikini at Celebuzz
Photos: Splash News
what ass?
In number 5, her ass is surprisingly shapely.
Her ass is quite beautiful when the light hits it in a certain way- of course, you can’t depend on that light…
Nice and round, esp for a lean lady.
nice to see her with a caboose finally
HUH? Her ass is completely out of proportion to the rest of her, except her legs which are over-sized and look like tree trunks holding up her butt!
Looks like Pilates IS paying off for her. For pushing out two kids she looks better than some other women that never had kids..Namely from “The Jersey Shore.”
Facebook Me: Celebutard moms do not “push”. They have C-Sections scheduled ahead of time for their (and their doctor’s) convenience.
exactly
“a gray pancake with a talon sticking out of it” lol!
I’d smack it up, flip it, and rub it down.
Oh noooooo!
Niiiice! Thought I was the only sap on the planet that remembered Bell Biv DeVoe.
not bad at all, i like em skinny and tall…i like seeing my dick move in thier bellies when i hump em…
Ewww, you’re sick
agreed. that is the nastiest thing i have read all day
Let the record show that Kayle’s women have often been deflated by a pinprick.
Wtf?
PLEASE plase please Fish
Make Kayle the comment for most important people PLASE
along with Dick Tater’s
i like.
I think she looks great. I like skinny – she still has some shape, it’s not like she is a total stick.
She’s annoying, but WOW + GOD DAMN!!!
I agree, killer bod. Damn. I wanted her to be flabby and unattractive but damn she is SMOKIN.
She’s naturally thin. Not many people have that body type or genetic background. Still pretty after all these years…
I never thought the day would come where i would want to fuck the shit out of Gwyneth Paltrow…but i wanna fuck the shit out of Gwyneth Paltrow. What the fuck is wrong with me??!
i just googled “gwyneth paltrow nude” and up comes a pic of brad pitt’s wiener. just one more reason i can’t stand her.
damn, that’s a tight body!
thin with a meaty ass?? Holy shit that’s sexy!!!
I think I just came a little
I know i did.
I thought it was Taylor Swift lol
Anyway, she looks good!
I’d hit it. Cause I’m a necrophiliac.
Normally I’d quote the great American poet, Sir Mixalot here… But seeing as how it is G-Pal, I just don’t think it would be appropriate. Not when faced with an ass that has receive Coldplay loving… No sir… No sir…
She definitly has more ass and hips than I anticipated.
As annoying-as-fuck as she is, I’ve had a thing for her since Royal Tanenbaums.
*Heidi Montag before the surgery(s).
Heidi Montag before puberty.
Fishstick returns!
She looks much better than I thought she would. She looked terrible in a bikini in The Talented Mr. Ripley–and that was before kids. Just goes to show being a millionaire and paying for the best trainer and cook can really pay off. Of course she is very dedicated, unlike Shitney Spears who looks awful with even more money.
I hear she chews her consommé to work off all those “broth” calories.
I prefer Kim Kardashian.
She’s never been my cup of tea, but kudos for maintaining superb fitness, and apparently staying “natural”.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal…. Hot on the inside, horrid on the outside.
Gwyneth Paltrow in real life… Hot on the outside, horrid on the inside…
Oh, the irony….
She’s OK (glances to right of page at Brooklyn Decker)
Keep glancing buddy cuz that’s as close as you’re ever gonna get
Dibs!
Her torso doesn’t need exercise, it needs exorcism. What the fuck?
Where did her ass go?
there’s an ass on what?
She must have been wearing a tight thong right before getting into that swimsuit look at the lines on her ass lol
I am confused…”The Superficial” used to have pictures and posts of hot celebrities, now we get John Baldpate and Skinny “McFatbutt” Paltrow plus some post about the fact that one of the sleezes from “Jersey Shore”, faked something…how is this actually newsworthy?
For as tall as she is, she has stubby legs. I just hate this chick. I really, really hate her.
No ass at all but I’d still lick her turd cutter.
The tattoo is an arrow that points to her lady parts and says “GOOP in here!”
She needs an entirely different kind of “GOOP” lookin like that. …aaaand she just got it. brbkthxbye
I don’t like this woman. I’d still put my tongue in her butt, but I don’t like her.
+1
This woman is perfect.
She’s beat. Do you buy blackening bananas? Wilted lettuce? Rubbery carrots? Face the harsh reality: Women have a window of hotness that begins sometime after the first period and ends by age 30, after which only the desperate and highly imaginative will continue to perceive hotness (like someone bringing home rotting produce and insisting that it’s really at its peak; I dunno, maybe some people need glasses?).
Um some girls get their periods as early as 8 or 9. So you mean to say that children are hot? Last time I looked at middle school or high schoolers, I wasn’t thinking hot. You fail.
Give it up, she is hot. She looks tight and her skin looks good. She looks WAY better than the average 25 yr. old. HAve you looked around you lately at how many young people are out of shape?
Uh, suck it, me saying “sometime after the first period” leaves the matter of when pretty open, so no reason to assume anyone is referring to children. YOU fail in reading comprehension.
yes, unfortunately what you say is true… and it’s the same for men .Boys, you get from 18-28 and then it’s all over, man boobs, those bits of flab on the side, square butts. Shame, but there it is. Life aint fair, is it?
You’re catching on, browny. Life ain’t fair for anyone. Too bad that our junk celebrity culture tries to deny this by promoting unattainable ideals of eternal youth and perpetual beauty.
The cry of the fly over fatso…
Killing a guy while he’s taking a bath kind of sucks.
Different time that the pic was taken. Not the same vacation b/c her ass and legs are much less defined.
Take note, you fat pigs, this is what women who don’t consume massive amounts of carbohydrates look like.
If you think those legs are stubby, WTF?
She looks good, but she still smells like Coldplay.
She’s evolved from a troll to a buttaface.
She’s got a hot body!
haters gunna hate, but sorry she is a good lookin woman and any red-blooded man would be checking her out if you saw her on the beach
I wanna’ say something mean about her, but it seems duplicitous to criticize her WHILE I’m touching my wiener.
I don’t find her attractive or sexy in ANY way. I’ll now have to disinfect my eyes!
Ms. Paltrow is clearly suffering from Noassitis.
She’s a stuck up skank and I wouldn’t bang her with John Holme’s prick
getting an erection in my Iron Man suit is very painful.
thankfully, I now have these pics to help keep me flaccid