Today On ‘That’s So Gwyneth’: She Knew James Bond Before All Y’All

“Jarred queefs? You can’t be serious.”
“Get a jar, Layer Cake. We’ll do this right now.”

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Uncle Steven put Daniel Craig in Munich, so she knew him before he was James Bond, but like gets totally nervous because now he is James Bond. Moms, does that happen to you? Because it happens to Gwyneth all the time, and it’s not cunty for her to mention it from a Tunisian Instagram Stoop repurposed from handwoven elephant sharts. She’s being #rill. Her kids taught her that one. #rill. It’ll go great on a $1,700 purse.

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