“Uncle Steven approved these condiments? Oh, no no no no no no… Moses! Fetch mother her decanter of hand-wrung, free range catsup. Spit spot!”
Gwyneth Paltrow spent the weekend in Porto Cervo, Italy with her children and godfather Steven Spielberg while Chris Martin was of course nowhere to be found because, let’s be realistic, he’s a hologram. Surprisingly awesome ass or not – God, I hate you, Richie Tenenbaum – no one could stay married to a woman who repeatedly says shit like this, “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can,” without gunning himself and everyone around her down and calling it a mercy killing. “Father, she’s speaking in a British accent again. And about capers! Make me an angel.”
Photos: Fame
STEVEN: “It’ll be a blast. We’ll have a security detail, lifeguards, fruity ice pops, a guy grilling burgers for us, and I’ll be taking video of everything. Bring the kids!”
GWYNETH: “All-NATURAL fruit pops?”
STEVEN: “That can be arranged.”
GWYNETH: “Yay!!”
I’d like to smoke that crack, by putting my cheese in her can.
WELL DONE @Dreg!!!
Looks like she might be able to join in on the Katie Holmes – Kelly Ripa bellybutton schnooding fiesta.
If she just had some curves, she could be pretty hot!
Frankly, I’d rather smoke crack than each cheese from a can.
BLLLLLUURRRRGH!
Also, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_cheese
Well done guys, keep up the great work :/
Cheese comes in cans ? learn something every day.
Also I’ve known people that I’m pretty sure would rather smoke crack than eat cheese in a can; in fact they’d rather smoke crack than do anything else, period.
I can see where that might be a hard decision to make, but with crack being illegal I’d say +1 for cheese. Besides, crack is really hard to spread on a cracker.
Sweet Baby Ray’s… glad someone else noticed it too. Hopefully it was the spicy one. Oh yeah, and there’s some chick in the photo too… yeah, I’m talkin about Chalula.
The little boy has a look on his face that says “Mommy please put on some clothes”…
This can’t be her because her ass is made of everything perfect and supple on this Earth. Just ask her and the Huffington Post who sucks her vagina every day.
I never found her attractive, she seems like a haughty bore.
This is where Chris Martin gets worried.
I taste preservatives! [fling]
::MY DREAM HAS JUS CAME THROUGH HAPPY SUMMER CHEERS TO MS !!GWENTH PATRON!”
I would like to make her ass the apple of my eye.
Umm….pancake ass.
I’d hit it. With a bottle of syrup.
Hmmm….Gwenny got an N/A.
Nice ass? Nope. Negative Ass.
I’d hit it. And miss.
This is what happens when you don’t lift weights and instead fall for some stupid gimmicky workout routine made up of rubber bands and cardio. She’s definitely, “skinny fat.”
This is what happens when you don’t lift weights and instead fall for some stupid gimmicky workout routine made up of rubber bands and all cardio. She’s definitely, “skinny fat.” That belly is protruding like she’s pregnant again. How is Tracy Anderson getting away with this fad workout of hers??
what?
With an ass like that, she must poop diamonds.
;;;MY EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORRY”"!:MS GWENTHY
You could pick up a pencil with that thing.
What I find so itnreestnig is you could never find this anywhere else.
Mvzrzo dujzmwkderaj
Why does this have to be the ONLY rieblale source? Oh well, gj!
SpongeKate SquareSkirt
Coincidentally, her next cookbook is titled “My Father’s Body”.
I am all but certain that we’ve got us just a hint of a cameltoe here…
(must be careful…mentioning a cameltoe and Gwyneth Paltrow in the same breath is a federal offense…)
Calm down haters – that ass is still do-able.
‘I will not eat this, it is unclean.’
STank Ass.
is it me or is there a blonde body hair sheen on her torso?
…. more like, this is what happens when you decide to get in shape and flaunt your 40 year old ass because your deadbeat husband can’t get it up for you … Come on, how many of you guys wouldn’t do that ass?
I’ll be honest. I’d do that ass….the front, mouth everything. But I’m easy like that. ; )
Ummm…. I really wish that everyone else looked like that. What world do you live in?
May my wife look 1/2 that good when she’s 40. Dear god we should all be so lucky.
She looks better with designer clothes on and sky high heels.
Kid: “I came out of THERE??? OMGZ!”
Throw up!
She is one of the finest woman I have seen in my life. I would love to take her out for dinner and get to know her