Gwen Stefani is a mannequin

September 5th, 2007 // 48 Comments

Okay, so one day she looks like a bikini goddess, and then the next she looks a mannequin that came to life – and possibly escaped prison. Oh, I get it. This is a decoy. So I don’t attack her again with my boner. I mean allegedly attack her. I think when I’m judged by a jury of my peers they’ll find that I had Gwen’s best interests in mind. Especially once they’re presented with Exhibit A, my book, “I Make Love 1,000 Times Better than Gavin Rossdale.” Yeah, it’s an illustrated autobiography I wrote over the summer. I don’t like to talk about it too much. I guess you could say I’m the modest type.

Photos: Splash

  1. kevin

    That shirt made me lose my balance for a second

  2. So who gives a shit about this. Why is this even here?

  3. steve-o

    i hate this skank.

  4. She looks more like a mud wrestling referee than a mannequin. But she’s a mannequin I’d put in my house. Naked.

  5. Ted from LA

    It looks like Anna Nicole Smith, if she lost some weight… which I am guessing she has… and decided to work at Foot Locker.

    This is tasteless, but I could not resist.

  6. veggo

    She made a bad call…. oh, ahahaha! (uh, yeah, that was a stupid ref outfit comment)

  7. Yes,And?

    Wow, that’s some REAL news. BTW, is the paparazzo a novice or does it just have trouble focusing.

  8. jrzmo..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    huh? oh, i’m sorry I fell asleep signing in….that story about Gwen Stefani was so bor…………….zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  9. Can I shoot myself now?

    A grandpa walks into a grandson’s apartment and sees a condom on the table. “What’s this!?” demands the grandfather.
    “It’s a condom,” replies the grandson sheepishly.

    “What do you use it for?” asks Gramps.

    The grandson is surprised that his grandpa really doesn’t know what a condom is, and replies, “I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain.”

    To his surprise his grandpa says, “That’s a great idea,” and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom.

    “What size would you like?” asks the pharmacist.

    “Oh, big enough to fit a camel.”

  10. Hey Jimbo, don’t go to work on Monday. It’s Labor Day!!!

    As for her…I just saw her on the cover of some magazine while in line at the liquo—I mean grocery store. She is just NOT PRETTY!!!!!!

    Don’t even get me started on her crappy ass music…


  12. Ooba Gooba

    Absolutely one of the ugliest women in the entertainment industry.

  13. lambman

    Um, so is the point of this post you don’t like her red lipstick? What does a mannequin have to do with it?

  14. my comment

    Someone needs to tell her that the Mexican Whorehouse Red Lipstick is so 80′s already.

  15. charlesincharge

    Hey, do you realize that you can’t write the word n*gger on here? What happened to freedom of speech?

  16. n i g g e r

    n i g g e r

  17. Thanks FRIST!! I got the memo now.

    Did you see #17 learned a new word. The next word you need to learn is P L E Z. say it slowly….. Can you put the two words together?

  18. @5
    I wouldn’t have her naked. I’d dress it up in some sexy lingerie, something different each night.

    I love the lipstick, but then again I’m a sissy tranny.

  19. Chauncey Gardner

    I’ve never wanted to hump a Foot Locker employee so badly in my life.

  20. Italian Stallion

    Un-Necessary wardrobe, on Stefani, 10 inch penalty, dick in her mouth……….

  21. Is it lunch yet?

  22. Sure FRIST, take off.

    Looking for a nooner?

  23. Vince Lombardi

    Those are great shots of the guy in the background! Nearly every image of Gwen is out of focus. Either she has some electro-magnetic influence on the camera, of this photog is just shitty.

  24. veggo

    FRIST_ If by lunch you mean shots and a bong hit, I’ll meet you on 5th and Main.

  25. I don’t know what a “Holla-back Girl” is, but I want her dead

  26. Frick!

    #6; I also thought it was Anna Nicole back from the dead for a sec there (Foot Locker…good one). But the more I look at that first picture, the more it looks like a bleached blonde Julianne Moore to me.

  27. I’m going to lunch with Veggo.

  28. Crap Tonight

    In the last picture, her minder appears to be humping her bag
    That must be some bag

  29. zsa

    I like Gwen but this outfit is just sad and wrong. She does look a bit plastic and shiny…I think she’s gorgeous because she doesn’t look like every other pop/rock star wannabe out there…

  30. smegma

    Top pic – Anna Nicole Smith reincarnated as a skinny zebra.

  31. discharge

    Imagine how huge her teeth would look if she smiled and you came all over her gums.

  32. Um…I’m going to lunch with Veggo too

  33. I just got back. But I can alway make room for a shot and a bong hit

  34. 12:51

    i’m really thinking she’s a robot

  35. Ifuckinghateyou

    None of you fags noticed the nice nipple outline?
    Bunch of queers would rather coment about her striped outfit – that’s acceptable from Tranny, but I expected better from some of you.

  36. You’re right 36…….but you really have to look closely.

  37. anonymous

    shes so damn ugly and not talented. what the hell do people see in her????

  38. Lil Princess

    i love gwen.

    even if she does look like a reincarnated anna nicole, zebra, foot locker employee, mannequin.

  39. sharpeidude

    I think this chick works at Footlocker.

  40. I hear mannequins like stiffies.

  41. Fashion Sheriff Cowgirl

    I agree 31, she looks like a bad grade school joke. What is red and white and black all over?

  42. Wicked Wendy


  43. heavenScent

    what’s black and white and [caked in cheap looking] red all over?

  44. Arden

    I met her once, on a rare VIP before concert thing. She is very sweet, and seemed a lot less impatient and brusque than other celebs. I guess everyone takes a bad pic sometime, and not everyone dresses to please the masses.

  45. blondamnation

    why why why do celebrities wear sunglasses at night? Do they think they can;t be seen?
    There are only 2 kinds of people who wear sunglasses inside or at night: blind people, and assholes..

  46. hi

    about the red lips; makeup has rules: you either go dark eyes or dark lips. see eighties pics for reference of the horrible combination of both together. gwen has very dark eyes naturally, so eye make up can appear overdone even if it isnt. it is only natural for her to opt for dark lips. its balancing. second; she has a winter complexion so i think *technically* they can get away with the stark contrast of b&w. the thing i DONT like about her is her use of the “harajuku girls”:- to me harajuku symbolises individuality & freedom, & here she has put these girls in ~UNIFORM~ which is a contradiction ._.

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