Gwen Stefani Can’t Stop Wearing Makeup Or Gavin Rossdale Will Leave Her, Say Voices In Her Head

August 7th, 2012 // 19 Comments
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“Mmm… tastes like foundation.”

Gwen Stefani is the cover interview for Harper’s Bazaar September issue where she talks about her love of constantly wearing makeup, mostly to keep Gavin Rossdale happy lest he finally learn she’s really Doctor Doom underneath. (I’m onto you.) Via Us Weekly:

“I’ve always been a girl who loves to dress up. I already put my makeup on twice today: I put it on to take my kid to school, and then I went home, washed my face, and put it on again to have lunch with you,” she tells the writer.
Stefani even wears makeup at home because “I like to make my husband like me more,” she says of singer/songwriter Gavin Rossdale, 46. “And he likes it when I’m wearing makeup.”

While that all sounds well and healthy, let me tell you about a moment in my life I will never forget. Yesterday, Photo Boy found exclusive photos of Gwen in a bikini that we can’t run (Yet!) [Update: Merry Christmas!], but in them she’s actually not covering herself from the waist down like usual, and Holy Mary Mother Jesus Jehosaphat, it was like staring into the Ark of the Covenant if the Ark of the Covenant is God’s boner-maker. So if Gavin Rossdale wants to throw that away because his wife forgot to slap on ten pounds of rouge, let me just say this to Gwen Stefani: I don’t care if you don’t wear makeup. I’ll take care of the kids, the cooking, cleaning, you name it, I’ll be a goddamn doormat. In return, all I ask is every three to four days you lightly brush that thing against my cheek while “Don’t Speak” plays in the background. You don’t even have to sing it which, understandably, will be hard through the tears. And see? I’m sensitive, too. We’ll have fun.

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. Saw the pics on TMZ. Asstabulous.

  2. Cock Dr

    She is married to a bisexual, which means she’s just not competing with younger prettier girls for his attention. Gwen’s up against the whole horny world.
    The pressures must be intense. More rouge & bleach ASAP!

  3. mrsmass

    how her bleached-beyond-belief hair hasn’t fallen out yet is beyond me.

  4. Gwen is a goddess! She is still the same perfection she was when I saw No Doubt perform back in 1996…..and hidden away in an attic somewhere, is an aging, ugly portrait of Gwen Stefani…

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    Isn’t she the one with the young son with fingernail polish?

    Move along people… nothing to see here.

  6. “Hey Gavin, what’s your secret to looking so good at 46?”
    “GLYCERINE!…GLYCERINE!”

  7. EricLr

    “it was like staring into the Ark of the Covenant if the Ark of the Covenant is God’s boner-maker.”

    You put your dick in that ring at the peril of your soul, Frodo.

  8. Basement Jack

    She is gorgeous! I don’t get what she sees in that freaky lying husband, but if she is happy then I wish her well.

  9. El Jefe

    She is still damn hot and sexy.

  10. boooYAH

    I bet she still hot with no make up on.
    I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to keep her husband happy. At least she cares enough.
    Look at Jessica Simpson, she obviously doesn’t give a damn about her husband/bf/whatever.

    • JC

      Jessica Simpson doesn’t even give a damn about light being deflected around her because of her gravitational field.

  11. oh i know

    LOVE Gwen–always have, always will. she is one of a kind and just gets better as time goes on!!!

  12. Gwen Stefani Skirt Bikini Top Gavin Rossdale Wetsuit
    Matey Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    American chicks have such huge feet, I wonder why.

  13. Colin

    I honestly think the makeup (especially the bright red lipstick) is so people can recognize her. She looks good without the makeup, but she’s pretty much unrecognizable.

  14. I’m so glad to see there are some women who don’t completely give up on their looks the moment the get married and have a few kids.

    Some women start to get fat the moment that ring slides onto her finger. Some get married so they can stop trying so hard, cause “they got a man now”

    • MyCoworkerIsHot

      Aww damn that’s true.

    • Devilish Diva

      Like men don’t get fat, lazy, forego their hygiene habits and lose their hair. Not like they can help going bald but according to Justin Bieber they can.
      This is why I’m not ever getting married.

  15. MyCoworkerIsHot

    I love you even more now fish! I had no idea you have such love for Gwen! She is so awesome.

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