Guy Ritchie returns home to face Madonna, foolishly forgets his hat and whip

Amidst reports that his wife Madonna is seeking the counsel of a high-powered divorce lawyer, Guy Ritchie left London and bolted to NYC to woo his bride. If you’re wondering why he’s so blurry outside Madonna’s apartment, Guy’s moving in “Ultra-Fast Mummy Battling Speed.” You know, just to be safe. At any rate, sources for the couple are remaining mum and playing off rumors of a divorce. Including Guy’s mom who said the following to the London Mail on Sunday:

“They are no different to most other couples and we all know that being together can be hard sometimes and marriages are not always a bed of roses.”

Guy Ritchie seems like a decent fellow. I’m sure he’s been hypnotized by Madonna’s head full of snakes, but, c’mon, man, don’t go in there with your tail between your legs. Show some testicular fortitude for Chrissakes. You put Jason Statham on the map! … Wow, did I reach on that one. Okay, forget all that. Get your ass in there and beg. Beg for that crypt pussy. Also, try not to knock over her sarcophagus like you did last time. She was piiiiiisssed.

Photos: Splash News