Guy Ritchie doesn’t want Madonna’s money

June 27th, 2008 // 34 Comments

Madonna’s divorce from Guy Ritchie is definitely becoming a reality. She met with Paul McCartney’s high-powered attorney this week to protect her assets, but friends of Guy Ritchie say he’s not interested in her money. In fact, he’s actually hoping things can work out between him and Death Hands. The Mirror reports:

But friends said he still nurtures the dream that the final break can be avoided. One disclosed: “He’s a bit down in the dumps, and who can blame him. He’s off to the country to get a bit of peace and quiet.”
Friends insist the movie director is unlikely to wage a court battle for more of the star’s millions. The couple have already made the welfare of their children – Lourdes, 11, Rocco, seven, and adopted David, two – their top priority.
One source said: “Guy is a decent bloke, full stop. It’s not his style to start profiteering from such sorry circumstances. He’s got too much respect for his wife and children.”

Personally, I think Madonna’s making a huge mistake. I mean, Guy Ritchie is a human male who’s willing to have intercourse with her. You don’t throw something like that away. Let’s be realistic: it’s not 1992 anymore and you’re the Crypt Keeper. In fact, if one of my buddies said “Hey, I’d like to have sex with Madonna – circa NOW.” I’d probably give him back his car keys then suggest he take Holy Windy Fucking Shit Road home. Okay, you’re right, I wouldn’t do that. I’d ask the valet to.


  1. He’s just glad that he doesn’t have to do that Kabullshit anymore. His movies have sucked since he’s been with her anyway.

  2. syn

    Remember when she was hot?

  3. bernie

    Madonna’s probably trading him in for a gas pump or something.

  4. Stephanie

    I wonder what her deal is with him. He seems great. Maybe her latest successes made her realize she wants someone as weird and exciting as her?

  5. You Are All Whores

    I banged her in college

  6. Kim Lardassian

    On the other hand he is one ugly fuck too who would touch that bearded twat? I mean Ritchie not Madonna.

  7. veggi

    #2 – no.

    “The couple have already made the welfare of their children – Lourdes, 11, Rocco, seven, and adopted David, two – their top priority.”

    If that’s true, how about some electrolysis for Lourdes? Her upper lip looks like a guy’s buttcrack.

  8. veggi

    A damn shame NBA season is over. All those sweaty glistening giants *sigh*
    (sits down in a soup of her own spent passion to the sounds of squishing and stickiness)
    Madonna was always one of my heroes. I still dance naked in the forest to “vogue” every month when the moon is full. I take all my pets with me – my dogs, cats, monkey, parrots, my goldfish, my first and only boyfriend’s freeze-dried sperm colony (I know I’m obsessive), my various bacterial and fungal infections, I just go and have a good time. I’m silly I know.


  9. p0nk

    i’m going to give odds she hooks up with BillyBob Thornton within the year.

  10. Deacon Jones

    Death Hands!!! Hahaha, classic

    They look oddly familiar to me.

    Ah yes, New Orleans…..2002……hammered drunk…..on 9th Hurricane drink…..stumbled in “Female Impersonators” club at end of Bourbon Street…..very dark inside…..smells like locker room….REALLY dark inside….very tall dancer comes up to me….wait a minute….

  11. @10 – I think I was there. Was it you I spent the night with?…did you have the cute little vienna sausage smothered in red pubes and freckles…kind of like Lindsay Lohans little clit?

    MUUAAHH! Ive missed you Mickey

  12. my comment

    He just wants to be rid of her–fast!

  13. Read the ivana trump-storie: GET EVERYTHING!!

  14. magi

    if its true i hope he fights for his marriege.i dont want their divorce.they are so happy all over this 7 years and they just adopt a baby boy.lov u madonna think better

  15. Britney Spears

    Hey, y’all! Now Madonna and I can finally finish what we started.

  16. Deacon Jones


    If you were wearing a blonde wig and whispering “It’ll be ok” that was me!

  17. Dumdidum

    She did not age that well.
    Neither musically nor .. eh .. womanly.

  18. Name Required

    Now she can concentrate more on making more great music. Or maybe just still making shitty music and dating high-profile freaks like she’s done her entire career.

  19. Lola

    poor guy…. i actually feel sorry for him

  20. SaucyTango

    Interesting that she’s asking for a divorce right before her brother’s book about his life with Madonna comes out, in which he claims her marriage to Ritchie was a scam. Bitch is probably still a lesbian or at least bi-sexual. I don’t know too many straight women who go to such great lengths as she does to look like a man.

  21. SaucyTango

    Excuse me. SHAM, not scam.

  22. Grunion

    Based on personality and looks Madonna has to be the most unattractive woman on the planet. I love the new video where she has the permenantly surprised look of someone with way to much plastic surgery. Richie deserves a 10 million just for sleeping with that repulsive, ridiculous hag.

  23. Angry Beaver

    He’s not stupid. He knows that not having to shove his meat into that dried up cobweb infested mangina of hers every full moon is worth more than her millions. I bet moths fly out of her cooter whenever she opens her legs.

  24. oh fuck, death hands is right!
    (for the record, i always thought she was fugly)

  25. bernard feltzer

    Moths don’t fly where Dennis Rodman has been, more likely cockaroaches, crabs. Once you eat black meat………..
    She even adopted a Dennis Rodman lookalike baby.

  26. tonycatman

    They occasionally go to a pub near me Salisbury, UK.

    She gave him a hard time for drinking too much TWO YEARS AGO. Meanwhile, she ate macrobiotic shite food, and spoke about how much exercise she would need to do to offset her one glass of wine.

    He’s probably pissed off with her ‘holier than thou’ nagging.

  27. anita

    She’s 50 years old…geeze……leave the old bat alone.

  28. PeachPie

    #27, I’d agree with you there for the most part.

    But, any 50 year old who puts wears skin tight spandex with her legs spread apart like she has for the pic of her new album is sort of ASKING for it. Yes, she’s in great physical shape, no doubt. But that doesn’t translate into “sexy”.

    In a lesser sense, Madonna is part of the Mariah Carey/Pam Anderson group of aging women who can’t make the transition to midlife gracefully. The can’t abandon the self-image they had of themselves 20 years ago. The difference is that, with Madonna, it’s trying to still “shock” people with her sexuality and with the other two, it’s about trying to appear sexy by wearing clothes that should be worn by 16 year olds.

    All that aside, Madonna is famously known for being…the only way to put this… an absolute bitch. So I applaud any man who could have lived with her for as long as Guy did.

  29. sapphire eyes

    Now Madonna’s free to date those English royalty types — or maybe just adopt Wills and Henry. {shudder}

  30. Britney

    i like her music very much, she looks well.

  31. ToTellTheTruth

    He looks like Niko off Grand Theft Auto iv..

  32. Amused

    Thesuperficial – Those were some of the funniest comments I’ve ever heard about Madonna, next to her arms like pythons of doom.

  33. douchebag Mcgee

    “Guy Ritchie doesn’t want Madonna’s money”
    Yeah…I wouldn’t either.
    I hear it’s coated with a concentrated version of herpes only present
    in Madonna’s Vagina.
    True Story.

  34. That’s quite a piece of pocket change from the man who said he didn’t want a cent of Madonna’s wealth. Actions speak louder than publicist press releases, that is for sure.

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