It’s The ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ Trailer

February 19th, 2014 // 13 Comments
Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer
WATCH: 'Guardians of the Galaxy' Official Trailer
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Thor The Dark World
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Thanks to a shameless cross-promotion where Disney made you watch the trailer for a Disney movie during the middle of a Disney show, here’s the official trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy that premiered last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, but only after an awkward sketch with Jon Snow, you sonofabitch, I wanted my machine gun raccoon. Anyway, this thing basically had two hurdles to overcome to rocket it to 1.8 million views where it’s currently at: 1. Look better than whatever the hell that shit was at the end of Thor: The Dark World. 2. Show the raccoon with a machine gun. Of course, that’s me pretending to be Kid Savvy Show Business when really all I need to see is “PEW PEW SPACE SUPERHERO LASER BEAMS!” and I’ll run into a theater with a $10 bill impaled on my cock demanding admittance. I’m a simple man.

UPDATE: Here’s io9‘s always excellent screencap-by-screencap rundown, so everyone in your office can ask you about that raccoon movie with the green boobs. Finally, your moment to shine!

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  1. As someone already pointed out last night on the net, it probably would be a good idea to put the DC brain trust on suicide watch.

    There’s no way Diane Nelson can watch this trailer without cutting herself while screaming “WHY CAN’T WE MAKE A WONDER WOMAN MOVIE!?!?!?”

  2. Mike

    Can’t wait.

  3. I can wait. For the dvd.

  4. erocalous

    CREME IN MY PANTS, CREME IN MY PANTS. THIS LOOK TOO COLD

  5. anonymous

    Can’t wait for this film. DC can suck with their Batman vs Superman (yet all of JL seems to be showing up in the movie for no reason) crap.

    However, Chris Pratt must have an endless list of buddy directors in Hollywood because they keep trying to making him a cool, leading man/action hero but his derp shines on.

    • Yeah but Peter Quill is kind of a doofus, although in a good way. I like the idea of casting Pratt in this. That’s just one man’s opinion, however.

      And I will always take a fun escapist superhero flick over the tortured hand wringing and washed out colors that DC is handing me lately.

  6. Beer Baron

    James Gunn fought tooth and nail to get Pratt as Starlord. That’s why the movie is also backloaded with tons of “name” actors like Glen Close, John c Reilly, voices by Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel, etc.

    This movie is going to surprise a lot of people with how good it is.

    • TheReddFoxx

      That’s what a bunch of morons, like yourself, said about movies like The Green Lantern. And Spiderman 3.

      • WHO THE FUCK ever said that about those two movies!?

        There were hope for SM3 solely because the second one was excellent, but it turns out to be awful. However, NOBODY thought “Green Lantern” would be any good based on its trailer, and it turns out be to… actually worse than what we expected.

  7. Swearin

    The raccoon has a machine gun! He’s on top of the tree! IN A PRISON!!!

    Then I saw blue Amy Pond with knives and they had me. Oh lord, did they ever have me.

  8. Gordon GEICO

    The link didn’t work for me. I got a music video for “Hooked On A Feeling.”

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