I Love The Smell of Raccoons With Machine Guns In The Morning

June 17th, 2014 // 28 Comments
Rocket Raccoon Guardians of The Galaxy
WATCH: 'Guardians of the Galaxy' - UK Trailer

Here’s the latest trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy where you get to find out what this movie will feel like with an actual score instead of classic rock hits. More importantly than whatever the hell I just said, you get to see the raccoon with a machine gun say a bunch of funny words, and then like any sane person imbued with logic and reason, immediately wonder what it’d be like if he starred in a buddy cop movie with Peter Dinklage as the universe collapses around you from too much awesome:

Peter Dinklage Rocket Raccoon Little Weapon 2

I would’ve also accepted “Fuzzy Giggles: Attorneys At Law.”

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  1. cc

    I have a mother and 4 kits living under my deck. No machine guns, but I wish they’d move along. They make a lot of racket.

  2. Thank goodness for this because it was hard to take it seriously with those other classic rock trailers. I’m feeling better about this now.

  3. I am way more excited about this than a grown man should be.

  4. Cock Dr

    This Guardian of the Galaxy raccoon thing really seems to push some blogger buttons.

  5. JC

    Maybe I’m just old and cranky, but I saw the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer when I went to see X-Men, and it looked pretty stupid. And not in a “stupid but fun” kind of way, either. More like “so stupid I want to hit myself with a hammer.”

  6. Cornbread

    Looks stupid as fuck

  7. DrJ Fever

    This looks almost as bad as Howard the Duck.

  8. I have been waiting all my life to see a raccoon with a machine gun. I would have preferred a koala but they’re endangered and PETA would be all over that shit.

    Where’s the gun nuts to support raccoons expressing their Second Amendment right to bear arms?

  9. Quagmire

    Was thinking along the lines of Veronika in that this site is typically anti-gun. Taking this at face value, it is the glorification of guns not unlike a list of games long which glorify similar behavior. Yet it is on the backs of law abiding citizens that this problem will be worked out.

  10. This is going to be the tits.

  11. Swearin

    I can’t wait to give a theater my money to see this. And blood, would they accept blood too? I have some land, would you like the deed?! JUST DON’T STOP CHRIS PRATT FROM ARGUING WITH THE RACCOON!

  12. o'chunt

    Bradley Cooper’s voice coming out of a small-ish raccoon kills my suspension of disbelief.

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