Put Me Down For Guardians Of The Galaxy. I’m In.

August 14th, 2013 // 22 Comments
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Yesterday, I talked some shit about Vin Diesel voicing a character in Guardians of The Galaxy instead of starring in The Avengers 2 and may have some talked some other shit about the movie in the past. However, after seeing some bootleg footage on GammaSquad, I’d like to retract that shit back into my word-butt because MOTHER OF GOD THE RACCOON. What could’ve been the death knell for this thing is now easily the greatest part because as you can see by the GIF below, that’s the closest to an actual raccoon with a machine gun you’ll ever see in your life. [Ed. Note: They don't like it when you lure them into your house with old hot dogs then try to duct tape firearms to their paws. And that's not the rabies talking. BERGA BLOGGA! That was.] To put things in perspective, DC Comics is only just now getting around to putting Superman and Batman, their biggest, most recognizable characters, in a movie together after hesitating for over a decade while Marvel’s on their 87th film and literally going, “What else we got? A raccoon with a gun in space? Turn it into money.”


Rocket Raccoon GIF

You never knew how much you needed this in your life until you saw it, I know.

Photos: Marvel


  1. That looks like a recurring dream I had.

  2. ThisWillHurt

    “I’m here to kick ass and adorably wash my hands in a riverbank, and I’m all out of washing my hands in – hang on. Ah, fuck it!”
    *empties clip into crowded bank*

  3. Smapdi

    Meh. I’ll wait for it on Netflix.

  4. what DC needs to do is do Darkseid. if they are going to do superman/batman the do live action Superman/Batman: Apocalypse . then some of their Vertigo comics like the Sandman,swampThing. the list goes on.

    • Beltliner

      They already did a Swamp Thing movie.

      (I’m really fighting the urge to make Ke$ha joke here)

      • I actually forgot they made a Swamp Thing movie.memory is coming back. only good thing about it was Adrienne Barbeau had a nice long topless scene in it. they even did a remake of it with Heather locklear. and the acting in the remake made the first one seem like a Shakespeare’s play.
        They need to remake Swampthing with better acting and story. and nothing wrong with a hot actress showing her breasts off.

        wonderman was done also in low budget and of course one or two TV series.(I think they made one recently and was canceled or just did a pilot for it.). Best wonderman is Lynda Carter. actually only good WW is by her. which is a shame. she should have had competition.

      • Jenn

        The cheesiness of Swampthing 1 and 2 was part of their greatness. I love them.

  5. Impressive but still torrent.

  6. the racoon was a character in the last marvel vs capcom game, what is marvel’s fascination with it

    • Marvel’s fascination with Rocket Raccoon (Or “Rocky Raccoon as he was initially called in Marvel Premier 2… or was it 3? Whatever…) is that he scores VERY well with both children AND adults. it’s a character that can make them a TON off of merchandising alone.

      I honestly would not be surprised if Disney/Marvel has plans in their back pocket for a Groot/Rocket Raccoon stand-alone film down the road. Hey, if Pixar can make a piece of shit like Cars and Cars 2 profitable, imagine what they can do with characters that are cool.

      • What would a standalone movie with Groot would look like?

        Literally 100 minutes of a walking tree straight out of Tolkien’s nightmares saying “I am Groot!” constantly…

        Sounds way better than “Green Lantern”, doesn’t it?

      • Hey now. Half of the movie will have to be Groot growing. What an epic film that’d be!

    • …i had never heard of him before mini-series hit the stands back in 1985, but i bought it because; A) it was drawn by mike mignola, B) because it looked cool, and C) i did’nt buy TNMT #1 when i had my chance a year earlier, and i was’nt gonna dick myself over a second time …it’s still one of my favorite comics from that era, and as corny as the whole premise sounds, he was a great character and it was a great story…so when he started blowing up again last decade, i was’nt surprised at all.

  7. Man, I’m sorry….you can raid the garbage all you want – I’ll…I’ll never flip on the porch light again.

  8. Pat C.

    raccoon+gun > trex+lasers

  9. …you really need to calm the fuck down …yer gettin’ way too excited over nuthin’ …you gettin’ a little stir crazy over there?

  10. GOTG has been one my favorite comics since I was a kid and reading the ones that take place in the future. The series that had Rocky quickly made him a favorite character of mine. I was really excited when I heard David Tennant might be playing him. Now I just can’t picture anyone else in the role. There’s nothing else I love more than to see him voicing a kick-ass cockney raccoon.

    I can handle Vin as Groot, but NOT ROCKY DAMMIT.

  11. You get Colin Farrell or (if God really loves us all) SEAN CONNERY to voice it, and we’ll be good to go!

    (Yes, according to “The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes”, Rocket Raccoon speaks with a Scottish accent… works for me!)

  12. KuntSmith

    LMFAO on the Racoon Clip!!! BWAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

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