Grandpa Spears demonstrates crazy is hereditary

February 4th, 2008 // 82 Comments

Britney Spears’ grandfather June Austin Spears spoke to NY Daily News about Jamie Lynn and how her mother Lynne is handling the situation – which is poorly:

“Lynne keeps Jamie Lynn hidden,” June, 77, told us, referring to Britney’s mom and her knocked-up li’l sis.
“[Lynne is] in denial about the pregnancy. She thinks it’s just going to go away, but it’s not. It’s going to get bigger and bigger.”

Then, being the true Southern gentleman, June said he’d never vote for Barack Obama (I wonder why?) and talked about his love for guns:

We asked Grandpa Spears what he thought of Sen. Barack Obama, and let’s just say, ahem, his views are consistent with many white Southern gentlemen of his generation. Moving swiftly on!
“I don’t have a gun permit. I keep it under the front seat of my truck,” he told us. And what about those rumors that he’s shot at a few reporters?
There was an ominous silence. “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t.”

Ha! Racist old men with guns are adorable. I don’t care what anyone says. That shit is precious. I mean, just because they’re senile doesn’t mean they’ll randomly open fire. Wait, it does? Yikes. Okay, everyone stay calm. I may have kind of given my grandfather a .38 to play with while he walked to the drug store. My bad. We ran out of prune juice. He was feeling kind of down. I thought it might cheer him up. Which it did, but only after he shot my “sumbitch Jap car.” The joke’s on him though. I drive a Powers Wheels.


  1. ha8ter

    With a name like June the dude’s gotta be angry!!

  2. Amy

    i feel bad for the whole Spears family …. i think that both Britney & Jamie Lynn were too young to begin preforming and their mother made a mistake not giving them some time to mature and have a childhood themselves…

  3. TOW

    If we’ve learned anything, which we haven’t, it would be that Spears offspring DO just go away. Ta Da!

  4. thetruth

    #3…plus they’re bat-shit crazy hillbillies…

  5. Granpappy Spears

    I reckon Imma git me the vacuum cleaner and clean out that varmint.

  6. Teacher

    Mothers, always remember to teach your daughters (especially the hot ones) some simple arithmetic: mouth + ass = 0 babies.

  7. strachey

    Yay for stupid people; like little white mice running round and round in their spinny wheels, the Spears family never fails to amuse me.

  8. woodhorse

    A refreshing bit of Americana for Monday. Yay. Here’s a helpful hint:: a shotgun loaded with rock salt is technically not a “lethal” weapon so go take care of those grudges and pent up anger.

  9. Teachers ass mouth.

    I for one love to suck on a butt penis. bacterial infections are much easier to deal with than a bangable daughter.

  10. to 7

    #7 and what should mothers of boys teach?

  11. Auntie Kryst

    Hooooweeee! I bet June makes hesself up a mess o’ good ol ‘shine. I’d like a mason jar please.

  12. D. Richards (Whore.)

    The Spears family are descendant from human beings?! I thought they were spawned from Satan’s rectum to enforce a new world order on mankind — money producing sub-mediocre talent.

    I’m sorry. You’re right, that was actually Leif Garrett.

  13. Teacher

    #11 – use alcohol and a bag over her head if necessary.

  14. poor britney. wish her luck

  15. deaconjones

    I like poop mouth.

  16. Dave C

    He’s automatically a racist because he won’t vote for Obama? Wow.

  17. Sapphire Eyes

    I guess it’s easy to see why the entire Spears family should be in some kind of psychiatric custodial care. What the hell? With a grandad like that of course the genetics of batshit crazy nuts will travel to the young ‘uns.

    I feel better that Britney is in a hospital where may they can intervene successfully for a recovery for her, but it’s going to take longer than 2 weeks before she’s a “normal” person again.

    Jamie Lynn, on the other hand, should get as far away from Mama as she possibly can. Her mother is a nut job of the highest order.

    I thought my family was f-up, but holy fruitcakes, batman, those are some wacky folk.


  18. Jeff

    She needs to replace that GED study guide book she’s carrying with “Babies for Dummies”

  19. The comments on here are getting so fucking ridiculous I am now embarrassed to visit this site. Bye Y’all!!!

  20. Teacher

    Looks like FRIST conceived while wearing a bag…

  21. Carl

    Unfair assessment that he’s racist. The race card doesn’t fit you… stick to the boobie card.

  22. Harry

    I’m not interested in any story re: Jamie Lynn Spears that isn’t accompanied by pictures of her in tight, low cut jeans.

  23. Thomas

    I think we’ll get more insightful commentary if we search even farther out on the branches of her family tree. I’m sure her cousin’s father’s son’s grandma’s only daughter’s husband will not only offer his stunning insight, but will reveal that he’s Britney’s dad!

  24. Mitch

    Gramps should make Jamie Lynn drink a jug of moonshine every day and soon enough her baby will be a stain on the couch. I mean, another stain. A non-brown stain.

  25. Sid

    “I’m not interested in any story re: Jamie Lynn Spears that isn’t accompanied by pictures of her in tight, low cut jeans.”

    If she follows Britney’s example, in a few months you will truly regret saying that.

  26. MoronicShitney

    He doesn’t wanna vote for Obama and that makes him racist? Maybe he just happens to think that Obama is an arrogant ass who has made more U turns than a road sign factory.

  27. Junie Spears?

    A man named JUNE? he may not be racist but he sure as fuck must be messed up in the head with a name like June!

  28. Amazed

    You assume this man is a racist just because he’s not voting for Obama. That tells me a lot about YOUR mentality. And, you are always late updating your site and then this is the best you can do? Pathetic.

  29. Johnny Cash

    My name is June. How do you dune?…Ah fuck it. *sniff*

  30. David Duke

    Cmon, admit it, there’s no way Obama would win in a general election. My favorite response to the question, would you refuse to vote for Obama because of his race? “No, but I know people who would.” Meaning: yes, both for me and everybody I know. It’s a response that comes up repeatedly in the polling going on now. Grampa Spears might have other reasons to not vote for Obama, but his primary one is that he won’t vote for a black dude, especially during bad economic times (“it’s no time for handouts”).

  31. my comment

    I’m not a racist and I’m not voting for Obama.

  32. my comment my comment


  33. BeatLA

    Who cares.
    Show us your tits.

  34. In every way imaginable, the Spears family embodies everything that is wrong with America today.

  35. steve

    You can’t make any assumptions. I’m voting for Huckabee, and every religious person I meet shows me that “God” is a crutch for the weak.

  36. mike

    I’m voting for obama.

  37. In every way imaginable, the Spears family embodies everything that is wrong with America today.

  38. ummm...

    “being the true Southern gentleman, June said he’d never vote for Barack Obama (I wonder why?) ”

    Those who find this questionable – there’s a big percentage of white Southern gentlemen planning to vote for Obama, is there? Better call all the polling agencies and tell them they’ve got those numbers upside down.

  39. Mike Mike


  40. D. Richards (Sadist.)

    You know why Barrack will never be president? It’s not the color of his skin, he’s just too nice of a guy. Obama wants to do a good job for the American people. He’s not as souless, hard, and politician-ized as the other canidate(s). Maybe it’s because he’s a younger politician; I don’t really know, but personally, I think Obama is just a good guy. And, frankly, I think he’d be a good president.

    You know who I don’t want to see as President of the United States of America? A woman. Ha-Ha!

    I’m joking. I’d be willing to be money that Hillary’s clitoris is bigger than Barrack’s penis.

  41. wigger mike

    fuckabee needs a good gut punch.

  42. Southern Gentleman

    Sir! I say I say Sir! Mr. Superficial, you have offended my honor Sir and I demand I say I say I demand satisfaction! You shall besmirch Ol’ Dixie no more. If you are not a yellow belly, shall we say pistols at dawn?

  43. Son-of D. Richards

    To bet*

  44. There’s 2 L’s in soulless, too, I’ll be


  45. No, it's because he's black


    It’ll never happen, not in our lifetimes. We’ve moved away from white male Protestant only rarely, even in modern times. US presidential elections are the most racist, sexist, and religion-intolerant events on the planet, given the incredibly wide range of possible backgrounds Americans could vote for, but simply don’t. The first major departure will be electing a white woman, but she’ll be a staunch hawkish conservative Protestant (in large part because she never had an orgasm).

  46. Doxes

    If you follow the link to the NY Daily News article, it makes it pretty clear that ol’ June’s comments re: Obama were indeed racist.

  47. meh

    Oh, politics involved with the Spears. I never thought I’d see the day. I think it must be about the time hell is freezing over. Yup. My feet are getting cold.

  48. Hmm… Apparently, I am not a shit-giver.

  49. Bane

    I am TOTALLY lost here – is Jamie Lynn pregnant because she got raped by a fuckin n i g g e r?!!

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