Gosh! That Chris Pratt Is Just Such A Darn Nice Guy, I Tell Ya!

Before I post some bathroom mirror snaps of the respect-boner I have for Chris Pratt, I’d like to mention that its getting out of control how often the hive-mind gets on their #ponies and tries to make someone drink cyanide because they think they got offended. Sure, sometimes it’s warranted- sometimes assholes are being assholes and they need to get checked- but it’s starting to get out of control with this one…

“After Chris Pratt shared a video in which he requested people listen with high volume instead of reading subtitles, many criticized the Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 star for not being sensitive to those with hearing disabilities.” -E!

CHRIS PRATT, YOU SONNOFABITCH! HOW DARE YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE!

Since Pratt is one of the few celebs that refuses to hand over his social media to his PR people, he took it upon himself to directly address the flashmob of hearing-impaired advocates that seemed to appear out of fucking nowhere. Of course, since Chris Pratt is the all-American homecoming king who never stops smiling… it’s in sign language.

Now he’s turned the hive-mind on itself by putting the blame on Instagram for now allowing a closed captioning app. #CCinstaNow is the result of this whole “non-issue-in-the-first-place” overreaction.

If you’re skipping to the end, Chris Pratt just alpha-dogged a wolf pack of bloodthirsty PC gestapo and it gave me the biggest respect boner I’ve had for him since he and “Captain I’ve had sex with everyone in America” hung out with those sick kids.