“Aww, Eddie, you packed my chute for me. I’ll feel safer already.”
“And you don’t even have to check it because marriage is about trust. In fact, why don’t you let me hold onto it until the last minute?”
Here’s LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian skydiving for a veterans’ benefit yesterday because what better representation of a country our brave men and women in uniform risked their lives for than two adulterous shitbags surviving a fall from a plane before dry-humping each other on the tarmac? A bald eagle probably landed on them clutching the Ten Commandments in each wing that’s how America it was.