Gisele Bundchen might be kind of sort of freaking hot – and also topless

June 18th, 2008 // 191 Comments

Anyone get the feeling Gisele Bundchen is suggesting something directly to me, The Superficial Writer? It’s either something really awesome like Naked Battleship, or she needs a chiropractor. Who knows? But I better stare at these photos from the latest issue of GQ for a few more hours/days to be sure. In the meantime, scope out this excerpt from Gisele’s interview:

Forbes has reported that you made $35 million last year, more than twice as much as any other model in the world.
Do you think that’s important to me? Look, this is my job. I take pictures. There is no big deal. I would like to know who this reporter is finding out all of these amounts. And I would like him to talk to my accountant and figure out where is the cash that’s missing. Because I haven’t seen it.

Did I also mention Gisele has the world’s shittiest accountant and loves being robbed blind? Finally, a woman with money falling out of her vagina! And they all laughed at me. “That’s just some crazy sketch you made in the men’s room,” they said. Ha! Who’s laughing now? (Not counting Tom Brady who’s about to suffer a horrible canoe accident. Anyone got a torpedo I can borrow?)

NOTE: Pics link to possibly NSFW versions, depending on how good you are at making out a nipple.

Photos: GQ

  1. Elizabeth

    it looks like shes got a huge penis in the picture with the white underwear.

  2. Kaled

    Cara, essa é a mulher mais linda do mundo. Gata demais !!!

  3. chris

    i’d rather f bar rafeli, that israeli chicka

  4. Berzerker

    Conan’s gonna like this spread. he has a huge crush on Gisele

  5. KatieBoo

    Ok, let’s all really look at this pic. She is NOT skinny. Let’s use that word for people/models who really deserve that title. Gisele is extremely tall, and very lanky and slim. I don’t see any bones. There are a lot of models out there that have their bones almost protruding through their skin. THAT”S gross. She’s HOT. I can’t exactly use the words “cute” or “pretty”, but for what ever reason, she is sooooo attractive.

    By the way, nice slam Randal! Some morons just have it coming!

  6. giuf

    she has sexy feet

  7. Meow

    She has a beautiful face, but what a string bean body. Is that what passes for sexy these days? She’s not feminine.

  8. Meow

    She has a beautiful face, but what a string bean body. Is that what passes for sexy these days? She’s not feminine.

  9. mary234

    She looks beautiful. I saw her p’rofile and phots on milllionaire d’ating s’ite “”"”"”"W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m”"”"”" last week. It is said she is d’ating young b’illionaire on that site.

  10. Rach

    It does not matter who or what the superficial posts on this site – it could be the most beautiful thing on the planet and there would still be people critising it!

    This girl is a fucking SUPERMODEL! Did you hear that – SUPERMODEL!!! You can say all your insults as much as you want like – she’s too skinny, too tall, too horse faced – has a funny nose – looks like a man -WATEVA! But she is still a supermodel and to become a supermodel you are one lucky bitch! She is what so many beautiful girls out there will never get to be becuase you have to have that little something special about you.

    Like it lump it but this is what people want to see.

  11. Ashke

    She looks really good in some of those shots, but in the default pic they’ve photoshopped out one of her hips and she looks like she has the body and legs of a grown woman and the pelvis of a 10 year old girl.

  12. Amanda

    i love how shes wearing mens underwear thats hott

  13. Kristen

    Will someone please photoshop my body so I look this amazingly hot instead of a chubby beer swilling “blowjob friendly” funtimes girl?

  14. Packinwood

    Who the hell is she? Has she done anything?

  15. Not impressed

    she has zero curves (is anyone really fooled by the optical illusion of props and photoshop?), and the shapeless legs of a 9 year old child. any man who wants a piece of that is edging into pedophile territory and should pre-register on the sex offenders list, if he isn’t already there.

  16. me myself i


  17. me myself i


  18. me myself i


  19. snarkymalarky

    Giraffe with implants…and ,oh yeah, anorexia and a good photo editor too.

  20. LOL

    She’s giving birth….this is sooooo getting photoshoped ….seriously, that is THE most FREAKISH pose I have ever seen in my life

  21. Blah


    “she has zero curves (is anyone really fooled by the optical illusion of props and photoshop?), and the shapeless legs of a 9 year old child. any man who wants a piece of that is edging into pedophile territory and should pre-register on the sex offenders list, if he isn’t already there.”

    Do you really think only 9 year old children have small curves? It may surprise you but 60% of women over 18 are actually an A or B cup breast size, naturally. You must live in a really unique place if the only A cups you see are on pre-pubescent girls. Maybe you need to get off the internet and look around more.

    You must be a tub of lard if you have to resort to calling men pedophiles when they don’t like anything but size 10 ultra-curvy women. Liking a variety of women is normal and open-minded. Anyone who says different is crazy or obese.

  22. ummm...ok

    And? You keep saying shes a “supermodel”, what am I suppose to do? Give her part of my salary as a tithe? Have a small shrine dedicated to her? Or better yet, is her existence going to benefit me in ANY way? The most this bizarre set of photos does for any person of the human race is to inspire them to want to spread their legs a little bit more when they tank a dump.

  23. She used to be so hot and sexy, now top skinny. And her head looks humongous.
    I dont understand this stick insect obsession, she just looks unhealthy.. 5 years ago she was superb.

  24. Ewwwww Gross!

    Yeah, nothing sexier than ribs poking through the skin……….

  25. d

    Tom Brady sucks.

  26. Okay… if you think a chick that is nearly six feet tall and weighs a whopping 120lbs, with a horse face and Lee Press On tits is hot, then I would imagine you are a fan of Shakespeare’s Fair Youth sonnets. Of all the millions of hot Brazilian women out there, this one just doesn’t make the ol’ soldier salute.

    #33 – As much as I’d like to see GWB thrown off of the GWB, if you truly believe his IQ is a mere 91, then I’d love to know how you mustered up the mental faculty to cut and paste that idiocy.

  27. klm

    honestly – i don’t find her attractive either. i think she looks like a skinny man. and in one of those pictures it looks like she actually has a c*ck. i think that’s WHY she’s a ‘supermodel’ all the gay fashion designers want to screw HIM. her face is fugly…i wouldn’t mind having her boobs but the rest – she can certainly keep. she’s not feminine at all – not her body, definitely not her face and what a stupid thing to say back to that reporter “Do you think that’s important to me?” what a douce. she gets paid an obscene amount of money to stand around and look ugly. a ‘wow, yes i am lucky and grateful’ would have been a bit more appropriate. and no – i am not jealous writing this you losers…i am being honest. i can appreciate a beautiful woman – she’s just not it. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

  28. MACK

    no. 46

    He may not have the lowest IQ but he’s definitly the stupidest! fucking right wing wackos have to attack anything that even questions their precious government! fucking leave it alone

  29. sweet jesus

    #58 Nope, I’m 5’11 and weigh 130 lbs. Thanks though!

  30. @90, 56 & 33. How fucking stupid are you idiots?…

    First off #33: On G.W. Bush’s IQ
    Description: Email joke
    Circulating since: July 2001
    Status: False

    #56: yea, hes the idiot huh…as you sit in your bathrobe, looking at gay porn and wishing you were this anorexic girl so you could be the one sucking Tom Bradys cock…or better yet, probably one of his team mates, as you sound like you have a preference for dark meat.

    #90: there are so many things to tear apart in your “argument” that I only have the time to address a few. First of all, you dont even have the writing skills of a 3rd grade american, so Im guessing youre some muslim goat fucking piece of shit.

    FYI…Both parties have pole smoking faggots in them. Both parties have bible quoting bigots. The debt we are in is mainly because of a little thing called 9/11 and the decision we made to defend ourselves within and outside our borders. We didnt start it , but we will finish it. If you dont like the way things are headed or have been going, form a militia and overthrow the government. Hell, if I agree with your principles, Ill join you. Im at that point now.

    Heres my agenda to start:

    Divide the states from east to west…lets say from maryland to arizona, diagonally.

    All the socialist, liberal, white guilt riddled pieces of shit that :

    want a president because hes black
    want those who work to pay for those that dont
    believe illegal aliens have a right to be here and not pay taxes
    believe illegal aliens should be able to use our schools and hospitals
    believe blacks are entitled to anything because of slavery
    believe that guns kill people, not people kill people
    believe those with mental illnesses that commit violent crimes deserve another chance because they have something wrong and can be fixed
    believe something that happened to you int he past makes it ok and understandable to murder
    believe the caribou is more important than the well being of a working family
    believe liberals are anything but racist POS causing the problems
    believe 9/11 was an inside job
    etc etc etc etc

    …can move to the northern half.

    All of the others who believe that:

    the president should have some sort of experience running something, not just some dipshit that got an A in speech class and is a dreamer

    the minute you propose to give something to someone that cant get it himself, you are admitting they are less than you and need your help (ie, affirmative action)

    Obama is muslim or at the very least, sympathetic to their cause
    muslims are the terrorists
    everyone should have a job
    blacks arent entitled to anything anyone else isnt
    government control is worse than self regulation

    if you commit murder, you deserve to die, regardless if youre uncle butt fucked you when you were 9 etc

    welfare should be limited to 2 yrs

    people that are successful because of hard work shouldnt be penalized and have to pay any more percentage of taxes than those that are stupid and cant hold a job etc

    people kill people, guns dont kill people
    illegal aliens are welcome here, they should just have to go about the process the same way early american immigrants did, LEGALLY!

    gang members should be euthanized by the hundreds, regardless of age, sex, race, religion

    legal punishment should be an eye for an eye
    spanking in school worked and should be re-introduced

    “In God We Trust” is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, get over it… because God is part of our culture.

    As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. QUIT TRYING TO MAKE IT ANY DIFFERENTLY! The idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity.

    …can move to the southern half.

    Then when the move is complete, we will be where we want to and around others that feel like we do.

    Then , if you feel so bad about slavery, you can award reparations to the blacks that choose to live in your half.

    It wont happen in mine, because Ill have the teachers teaching that slavery was the best thing that ever happened for the modern blacks. Have you seen africa?been there? If you havent, you ought to take a look. There is probably no worse place to be on earth…so they should be thankful to their ancestors for making the sacrifices they did (even if it wasnt their choice). They did the best they could and didnt have civil rights laws enacted so that these modern ones could act, dress and talk the way they do. They are a scourge on society and need to be taught that they arent owed anything anymore than anyone else…and are responsible for their own actions.

    The country I live in will be called PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY.

    she didn’t succeed though.

  32. #130 – I like how you put “Christian” and “eye for an eye” in the same long turd of a post. I mea, that’s like a bald guy with curly hair, or an anorexic fat chick. Your simplistic attempt at analysis, which is obviously a near verbatim regurgitation of talk radio’s greatest hits, including the history rewriting “slavery was the best thing that ever happened for the modern blacks” will likely assure you a safe position washing dishes at the local Denny’s for years to come. You should be proud… it’s the human genome that should be ashamed.

  33. bitch needs to eat a sandwich

  34. Vince

    She gives me a bone. Unfortunately it’s from her ribcage.

  35. sorry

    #130 – sorry, dude, but your side is going to lose big in November. Definitely the White House, and very likely back to being the minority party – by a wide margin – in both the House and the Senate. But thanks for playing.

  36. Leila

    Whatever, now I want peepers’s bro to stick it in me (repeatedly). Gisele is quite good looking as a guy.

  37. whatever

    @ 130 – In this pretend country, will you be held personally accountable for being a shit-eating fuckwad? Just wondering. Fucking redneck.

  38. @132…no, no regurgitation. My opinion and views on why things are the way they are and how to fix them. I appreciate the fact that you tried to end with some wit …and a little concern, but dont worry. I wont take your job at Dennys. Im too busy with my design job. Youre safe kid.

    @135 …I dont think so. Once people see what a hot air balloon of racism, ignorance and elitism Obama is, it will landslide the other way, even though its only John McCain. Someone, who I would never vote for if the DUMBocrats had someone worth a shit running against him.

    @137…No, shit eating fuckwads will have the freedom to do exactly that, so youre safe too kid. Now get back to frying fries or taking orders…Im not sure which station youre at at your local McDonalds.

  39. ldsqtbea

    i think shes pretty … and not too skinny … and she has a nice ass

  40. madhatter


  41. AMIE

    Does ONLY having an areola qualify you as “having titties”? It’s simply amazing at America’s standards of beauty! I don’t get the appeal of having a body the size of your wrist and getting so much attention for it… while girls in high school and college who ARE that skinny as well get shit and ridicule for it! Guys wouldn’t fuck a “skinny bitch” in real life yet they jerk it to a skinny bitch in fantasy…. AND have the balls to compare Gisele to normal women….

  42. Oh Yeah, In the Country of PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY, if you dont pay taxes, you cant vote.

  43. Sid

    “@135 …I dont think so. Once people see what a hot air balloon of racism, ignorance and elitism Obama is, it will landslide the other way, even though its only John McCain. Someone, who I would never vote for if the DUMBocrats had someone worth a shit running against him.”

    You’ve stated exactly why it will be a Dem tsunami. Conservatives hate what their own elected officials have done (and haven’t done) during their decade of being the majority, and hate their new candidates even more. Obama’s campaign will not fall apart – he’s young, smart, sharp, and they’ll have more money and volunteer campaign workers than they know what to do with. McCain has never been able to lead a sustained disciplined campaign, he always veers off course. And, this time, he’ll make enough mistakes on camera for the media to focus on this question: at his age and after all he’s been through (POW abuse and melanoma), is he showing signs of mental deterioration? It’s an irresistible question for talk shows and talking heads, especially since they can refer back to the end of Reagan’s second term when he clearly showed signs of Alzheimers (on camera). In the end, disgusted conservatives will stay home, or place protest votes. Landslide. Guaranteed.

  44. #142 – Design job? What does that even mean? I thought design jobs were held by folks that give blowjobs, you know, gays and chicks… not that there’s anything wrong with that Mr. Craig…

    It really is a sign of extreme desperation that the GOP war room has to resort to Orwellian language to pretend that Obama could ever be worse than 43… our current president is from a elite New England family of oilmen who attended the top elite universities who’s grandfather was a certified racist, but yeah, I’m sure if Rush and Han say it enough everyone will belive that cats bark and dogs meow. And in your fictional Utopia, just about ever war profiteer out there would have to stay with the sane people in the North, because they pay no taxes. To think, I was Republican before 2001…

  45. jess

    Thank you, dear Lord, for this site for making me aware of why do I love living in Central Europe… oh and you can keep your “freedom”, which #130 explained very well. That was a wonderful example of American respect for differences, tolerance and freedom of thought, it’s just beautiful to see how people who think differently are lovingly referred to as retards. And those “who’s working at Dennys/McDonalds” compliments are just so thoughtful. With so much friendliness and such a joining of forces I’m sure your country will be able to overcome any crisis that might come!

  46. Sam

    At first I thought, “what’s this Mike Oxbhig dude doing on this thread about Gisele, spouting his atavistic political beliefs?” Then I realized she’s from a Nazi family that relocated to Brazil, and it all made sense.

  47. @143…Well, I disagree for the simple fact that Id rather have McCain than Obama for more than 100 reasons.

    A few being:

    His questionable (and denial to discuss when confronted) upbringing and sympathy to the muslim cause. i say this because I firmly believe that muslims are at war with us and have been for 25 years.

    His unfettered alliance with negative black causes that just stir the pot of controversy.

    His wife and all her past negativity towards anyone other than blacks.

    His TOTAL lack of military support and experience. Were at war, we need someone experienced with it, not someone who cares more about the enemy than the american citizens.

    His ignorance on dealing with nuclear issues.

    His elitism and how he has the nerve to say blacks dont have a chance in this country, yet he and his wife are ivy league educated.

    His ignorance in almost every aspect of governmental function.

    His lack of work ethic…hes skated on race and civil rights jobs since he could work.

    His lack of balls on tough subjects…look at all the “present” votes he had in the senate on tough subjects. Hes not passionate about anything but his race and anything he can do for them.

    His lack of showing up for his job as a senator…only 143 days was he there.

    those are just a few, but the ones that definitely DISQUALIFY him to hold any public office, in my opinion. Id say the same thing if McCain had his views and wanted special privileges for whites.

    I mean c’mon. the guys never even managed anything and has no experience being in charge of anything. Hes a race whore as bad as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

    Thats the biggest difference between the D and R to me. Dems see your color, Rep see your abilities, regardless of the color.

  48. amma

    You know, I want to like her. She seems like a nice person, she seems down to earth. She’s got great hair, long legs, great {fake but well done} tits. But ya’ know…? She just doesn’t do it for me. The face lacks a bit, but it’s not bad. She’s too skinny but that isn’t it either cause honestly more weight wouldn’t fix whatever it is for me. Is it because she is monochromatic? Could that be it? Her hair and skin are like exactly the same color…I don’t know. She’s WAY better looking than me…but as a model, she doesn’t inspire me. Meh.

  49. unpretty chicks gotta do what they gotta do to be seen

    Considering that she’s absolutely NOT pretty and that she has a tranny face, I guess these chicks have to do stuff like this (baring it all and then get photoshoped) in a completely desperate attempt to get some attention, get some easy loser’s dick hard and be considered ‘hot’. If this chick was fully clothed and you saw her walking down the street, you guys wouldn’t turn your head to look twice, you wouldn’t even notice her, period.
    Most of these celebrities are soooo overrated and overrating is all there is to them.

  50. @144..Hah, It doesnt surprise me that you dont know the general classification term “deisgn job”. The topic probably never comes up in the dishroom @ Dennys. I do web design, advertising, multimedia and audio recording.

    Obama and his wife went to the same type colleges as Bush did and he and his wife are supporters of certified racists. Selective memory when it comes to her thesis at princeton and their affiliation with their church, dont you think? Your lack of knowledge of the financial system and tax burdens in the business world dont surprise me either. Its what I expect from a spineless jellyfish such as yourself, elliot_spitz_in_you. Im done wasting time re-butting to your 8th grade “Intro to Business” comments.

    @145…Good, stay in Central Europe …and be sure to keep your quran and prayer handy for when the muslims have you living under sharia law in the next 10-15 yrs. Ill see you when we come rescue your stupid ass again.

    @146…the amateur comedy site is 2 links over…you missed it by going through the ass nugget shortcut that the previous posters I addressed went through. they just knew the way because they frequent it more than you.

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