Gisele Bundchen might be kind of sort of freaking hot – and also topless

June 18th, 2008 // 191 Comments

Anyone get the feeling Gisele Bundchen is suggesting something directly to me, The Superficial Writer? It’s either something really awesome like Naked Battleship, or she needs a chiropractor. Who knows? But I better stare at these photos from the latest issue of GQ for a few more hours/days to be sure. In the meantime, scope out this excerpt from Gisele’s interview:

Forbes has reported that you made $35 million last year, more than twice as much as any other model in the world.
Do you think that’s important to me? Look, this is my job. I take pictures. There is no big deal. I would like to know who this reporter is finding out all of these amounts. And I would like him to talk to my accountant and figure out where is the cash that’s missing. Because I haven’t seen it.

Did I also mention Gisele has the world’s shittiest accountant and loves being robbed blind? Finally, a woman with money falling out of her vagina! And they all laughed at me. “That’s just some crazy sketch you made in the men’s room,” they said. Ha! Who’s laughing now? (Not counting Tom Brady who’s about to suffer a horrible canoe accident. Anyone got a torpedo I can borrow?)

NOTE: Pics link to possibly NSFW versions, depending on how good you are at making out a nipple.

Photos: GQ
superficial

  1. sweet jesus

    I don’t understand why everyone hates on the skinny chicks, stop being jealous.. we all know your ass is a bag full of cottage cheese. I’d rather look like her than any of these fat, cellulite, Kim Kardashian looking whores that have to cover there butt with a sarong when wearing a swim suit. You poor souls, how do you do it?

  2. catska

    i like how they put a pillow against her side to create a curve.
    how clever!

  3. the superficials

    #50, 51. Retard are you capable of thinking only in extremes? We don’t hate thin chicks we hate manly chicks. How about wishing to actually be a hot woman in the middle ground between lardos like Kim and anorexics like this bitch. Have you ever heard of Abigail Clancy? You might want to google that chick, that’s hotness. This woman has the longest nastiest manliest torso around. It’s not about being thin itt’s about being manfaced manbodied and fucking weird looking.

  4. sweet jesus
  5. peepers

    Nope I’m damn regular just shit 20 minutes ago I called it “Ode to Veggi” since my big lumpy shit is what I imagine veggi looks like only prettier and better smelling (the shit), but thank you for asking ponk, I mean Veggi, fuck how many personalities do you have?

    Have a nice night everyone.

  6. Obviously

    @33 – since when is late night TV comedy an indicator of ANYthing ? Everybody already knows he’s an idiot – great research. But a might wordy though.

  7. f

    How can anyone find her hot? she is far too skinny, she has the body of a 12 YEAR OLD BOY. No hips, no curves, no ass. I don’t want to fuck a bag of bones. and her face isn’t cute either. Everyone bashes Kim K for looking like a woman is supposed to look, yet praise this skinny, ugly bitch for being a stick. I just don’t get it….

  8. #54. It is utterly pathetic that that is the worst picture you can find of Abigail. Have you seen the bad candids of Gisele, fucking ugliest face ever.

    Here’s Abigail

    http://www.egotastic.com/image?path=0707/abigail-clancy-bikini-06.jpg&info=Abigail%20Clancy%20Bikini%20Pictures

    Funny how you ignored the first pic in the green bikini you get in the google image search and went for the one where she was breathing (gasp!)

    Green with envy????

  9. Gem

    She is the ugliest supermodel out there. she is so overrated. She will never be as hot and beautiful as Cindy Crawford, Chrsity Turlington, Claudia Schiffer and Hedi Klum.

  10. cecil

    53- Yes, Giselle isn’t a beauty, but any guy who so passionately hates someone because of her body is super emotional and takes himself way too seriously. And you call 50/51 extreme? If you want to be manly, at least quit being so emo.

  11. Ted from LA

    She looks hungry.

    President Bush is not stupid, he just doesn’t speechify well.

  12. race

    @33, I am sorry, but I call BULLSHIT on Clinton having an IQ of 182. I seriously doubt he is a super genius. GWB, I believe though. Anywho, who really cares, since a high IQ usually does nothing for you in the real world and most definitely does not guarantee that you have common sense.

  13. fucking idiot parade

    #60. Cecil, total fat girl name. Do you have any idea what fucking site you are on, how on earth can you take these comments seriously?

  14. Holyfuck

    Hey Deacon, Where I come from the ?Z’s were the worst. A bunch of hogs. Literally like ?? in Revenge Of The Nerds. Speaking of nerds, #4, only nerds correct someone’s grammar on a site like this.

  15. wet newspaper

    She would look a whole lot better if she traded the saggy men’s jocks for something more feminine.

  16. sunshine

    #33 – real name: DOUCHETARD

    Lovenstein Institute? There is no such place in existence on planet earth. Don’t believe me, check this out – http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/presiq.asp

    Models are photographed for their beauty, not their personality, Naomi Campbell anyone? This woman is absolutely beautiful.

  17. christina

    # 55 peepers….

    U ARE HILARIOUS. I got a good laugh from “ode to veggi”

  18. hitler

    She looks like a flesh colored preying mantis …NOW WITH HAIR!!!

  19. dw

    She is a sexless tooth pick. I want some big meaty ass and hips to bang. Gisele has no sex appeal at all. I bet she hasn’t even started her periods yet.

  20. nice tattoo?
    giselle is overrated.

  21. what now?

    In pic #5 and #6 you KNOW there is a HUGE penise hiding under those sheets. In the other pics they airbrushed it out, of course. In my books she is a HE and unless I see proof I will never believe that IT wasn’t born without a penise. I guess we now know what team Brady really plays for.

  22. RJ

    I like your writing style, your sense of humor. It is fun to visit your site, see those pics and people who interest you, realizing they interest me, but it just may be the writing you provide that makes this site’s energy so hot! Thanks for making me happier!

  23. Guitar Hero

    Damn !!! I picked something out of my teeth that weighed more than her this morning.
    #36 – Were you even around during the British Invasion? It was like the
    glam- rock in the late ’80s in case you were’nt. As a rocker from WAAYY back …. (I was 10 when the beatles were introduced to USA) Beatles suck – from the time when I first heard them sing freaking “I wanna hold your stupid hand .” They had a lot of influence on fashion and haircuts though, I have to admit that.
    Gimme fiery rock and roll, and Chicago-style electric blues like Jefferson Airplane with Grace Slick, The Stones and Mick Jagger, Jimi Hendrix, the Kinks, The Animals, John Mayall, The Who or The Yardbirds, who had the band members “Eric Clapton-Jimmy Page-Jeff Beck”. All started their own bands incidentally … named “Cream – Led Zepplin – Beck/Bogert & Appice”
    1960′s pop and the beatles were lame. Bands like Hermans Hermits, The Pretty Things, The Dave Clark Five, Peter and Gordon, Chad and Jeremy, Freddie and the Dreamers, The Monkees, The Moody Blues.
    Strictly my opinion mind you.

  24. ddhniodiodf

    She kind of sort of… looks like a man.

  25. kitty_kat

    @21- “Amy Crackhouse is ugly, Gisele is a super model – big difference.”
    I don’t get it. Is she hot in spite of having a Sarah-Jessica Parker face JUST because she’s a supermodel? Seriously, you don’t have to be pretty to be a model. Modeling is all about being skinny enough to fit into sample clothes. You could be butt-ugly and still make it.
    “Too skinny? Maybe, better than being too fat.”
    Oh, I beg to differ. Ever see advanced anorexics? Being too skinny is just as unattractive as being too fat.

  26. ddhniodiodf

    Also, after reading through all these comments, I really want to thank #41 for writing that. I have noticed that most of these “supermodels” look like men, too. I agree with you about it definitely being because the fashion industry is so gay dominated. Their ideal woman is one with male features such as being tall & thin and having a manly facial bone structure.

  27. Um… I just lost a lot of trust for you perverts…

  28. Drunkman

    LOL #46 So True.

  29. Birdie

    She never used to be so skinny. I think I read somewhere that she was losing work to the younger, thinner models and even lost a contract (can’t remember with who).

  30. Gert

    her skinny body does not accentuate her horse face. and i’ve never met any girl or guy that thinks she’s hot. i dont understand why she’s on top. Adriana Lima – now she’s HOT.

  31. Mick

    She actually has the guts to sit there, lie and say that money doesn’t matter to her? If that’s true then why won’t she do a runway show for less than 5 million (and that’s only for two walks down the runway)? She is so full of shit. I hate her and her loser boyfriend.
    She does have a great model body though and can get away with being a spoiled bitch.

  32. Greece

    i dont see the nips..but she looks very hungry. If you don’t believe me, check her hungry hot photos on horsematch.com. I believe you are surprised.

  33. Smiley :·)

    Has no one else noticed the smiley face on her ankle?

  34. Ben

    Her face is attractive but a little angular. Her body is very nice but just not sexy to me- like a dude with breast implants, no ass, no hips. Of course, she’s gorgeous, but sexy is luscious. Like Halle Berry, or Jessica Alba or Biele.

  35. christina

    I was also expecting a tiny penis to pop out of the side of her panties. Isn’t she from Brazil?? A lot of men undergo sex changes there. Could it be? She is a bit horsey in the face and not very attractive for a woman. I also think she has fake boobs…petty sad when fake boobs are still small!!

  36. Uncle Tom's Cabin

    Fuck this underfed bitch..she looks like a catholic school boy. Gross.

  37. sky

    this skinny bitch? oh please. the bitch has a BONY PUSSY

  38. ATTENTION:

    SIR ROGER MOORE HAS DIED.

    THIS IS A SAD DAY FOR ALL

  39. Scott

    ” 41. Tyler Durden – June 18, 2008 5:48 PM

    Yeah she’s a supermodel, which means she is at the top of a GAY male dominated world that nearly shit its collective pants when they tried to ban women who have a BMI of under 18 from walking the catwalk. Do you know how fucking sickly thin women under 18 BMI are? (I’m a personal trainer and I’ve worked with anorexic girls to help them get healthy) Nicole Richie is around 18 (BMI wise) and these bitches in the modeling world are fucking 10 inches taller so they look even freakier at such low weights. I did some modeling in for a while (sick fucking industry) and when I was in Paris walking the streets NO ONE looked at the female models they look like scarecrow aliens, freakishly tall, starving, pale, miserable aliens and they dress like fucking retards, EVERY guy was looking at the hot young things with tight bodies and beautiful faces with sweet perky little butts; you know the normal hot girls who compare themselves to supermodels. And the models I worked with were all fucing coke heads, with bad attitudes and they were the stupidest most boring women I’ve ever met, no sense of humor, no personality it was fucking unbearable. I could not wait to meet some normal fucking WOmen who actually looked like pretty girls instead of anorexic men, yes I slept with some of the models and it freaked me out, they smelled like cigarettes and their bodies were just skin and bone, you wanna know what it’s like to spank a supermodel, go smack one of your friends on the shoulder; hot? Not so much.

    I don’t sit around and let society dictate who I should find hot. This hag looks like a skinny pot head I went to school with and no one found that turd attractive, she has a naaaaaassty MANLY face and she lacks the sweet hot bod of a WOman. I would take so many women over this fucking bitch and you know she’s a fucking bitch. ”

    Really, just shut the fuck up, already, moron. ‘I dont let society dictate who I think is hot’…. wow, arent you the fucking cats ass. Way to take a stand!! And haha@ “I did some modeling”.. for WHAT, Fat & Tall? I’m all about people having their own opinions, but when fucking invalids like you talk like your shit doesnt stink and you rant for about a chapters worth about how horrible said super model is, you just make yourself look like a fucking tool.

  40. America may be done thanks to Republicans

    Nice job Republican homosexuals (at least you have the christian decencey to stay in the closet) we are in monstrous debt and are just dying to eat what little remains of the world to fuel our ravenous (greedy) appetites! Good work, stupid fucks! Oh do you girls know what greed means and what the end result of such a mentally deficient mind set usually is? A few people end up with all the goods while the majority remain poor. Did your nasty Mommas ever teach you punks what sharing mean?
    Hey what about that little commandment in your Bible that tells you (the books says God says it) that “Thous shalt not kill”. What does God say here, fellas? I guess you feel that you have the right to misinterpret the word of God, right?

    Now go to your little basement walls where you spend your time jacking off to all those repressed fantasies and write on your walls this ethic 100 times a day for one week.

    I guess the fact that our country is now owned and dominated by Big International Businesses and we Americans really have little say in our country as in our jobs being sent where the labor is cheap (meaning money is sent there also you fucking yo-yos) and that we really don’t manufacture much and our cars are oversized and they sold us on big truck and that we do giant business with the very Commies that we were told to hate before we were told to hate the Muslim “terrorists”. Why are we doing business with Godless commies my dear pseudoredneck friends. Answer this one. Yeah go ahead and sell out your country you little traitors. Just like your president most of you have low IQs. The smart Republicans use you people for the tools you really are.

    Please emigrate. We don’t want your kind here anymore. We have a nation to rebuild.

  41. Scott

    #90- What the FUCK are you babbling about? Take your psychobabble elsewhere, assclown.

  42. kate

    Wow she looks really thin. I’m sure every anorexic and bulimic in america would use these pics as thinspiration.

  43. No Wonder Leo Dumped Her

    She’s OK from the waist up, and I mean just OK, not Hot; from the waist down she has the body of a walking stick (bug). The only thing that would want to fuck this thing is a walking leaf.

  44. Scott'sa 'mo

    Hey Scott nice retort, faggot. Very clever your take on life. “Assclown”. Damn that answers a lot of questions. Your time is over for now criminals. Adults have to fix all the broken stuff you children have made for us.
    As to taking it elsewhere. Nah. I will stay here to remind you simpletons just how imcompetent you really are.
    Now go take your boyfriend’s viagra (the older guy that dumped you cuz your asshole is now seeping) and beat off somewhere in the backyard to old war movies.

    Bring it on retard.

  45. Randal

    Scott honey, you remind me of this miserable bitch I dated at this horrid factory I worked at years ago. Quite the little cunt until I got him in the sack. Then it was him telling me how horrible he had it growing up. He would always cry and I would hold him close. Then he would beg to be spanked and I would always have to diaper him and bottle feed him refrigerated semen until he would go to sleep.
    Republicans, you are all alike.

    Randal

  46. Doors

    I see a scar between her boobs in the first pic… what’s that?

  47. Ted from LA

    I was trying to scratch the pink stars off her tits and accidentally caused that scar.

  48. Bill Clinton

    She’s kinda skanky freakazoid like.
    I’d dig it if she sat on my face for a few hours while slapping my ha-has around.

  49. Bill Clinton

    Hey randal shut the fuck up you fucking useless faggot!

  50. karch

    I’m sorry. Her face sucks.

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