Gisele Bundchen might be kind of sort of freaking hot – and also topless

June 18th, 2008 // 191 Comments

Anyone get the feeling Gisele Bundchen is suggesting something directly to me, The Superficial Writer? It’s either something really awesome like Naked Battleship, or she needs a chiropractor. Who knows? But I better stare at these photos from the latest issue of GQ for a few more hours/days to be sure. In the meantime, scope out this excerpt from Gisele’s interview:

Forbes has reported that you made $35 million last year, more than twice as much as any other model in the world.
Do you think that’s important to me? Look, this is my job. I take pictures. There is no big deal. I would like to know who this reporter is finding out all of these amounts. And I would like him to talk to my accountant and figure out where is the cash that’s missing. Because I haven’t seen it.

Did I also mention Gisele has the world’s shittiest accountant and loves being robbed blind? Finally, a woman with money falling out of her vagina! And they all laughed at me. “That’s just some crazy sketch you made in the men’s room,” they said. Ha! Who’s laughing now? (Not counting Tom Brady who’s about to suffer a horrible canoe accident. Anyone got a torpedo I can borrow?)

NOTE: Pics link to possibly NSFW versions, depending on how good you are at making out a nipple.

Photos: GQ

  1. i see nothin

    i see nothing

  2. i see nothin

    i see nothing

  3. p0nk

    wouldn’t turn it down of course, but there are some pretty sharp angles there. The whole anorexic ethiopian look just doesn’t do it for me.

  4. cole ferguson

    should be who’s, not whose..if you’re gonna dish it, gotta take it..

  5. LSD in the butt

    Her titties are movin around on the screen. yummy,LMAO


  6. Jerod Cykoski


  7. Drunkman

    Damn she’s a pencil. Still hot tho

  8. President Bill Clinton

    Why all the fucking censor stars? You can’t see a fucking thing.

  9. Dave

    Damn you Tom Brady!!!!

  10. elastic

    She’s too thin and needs a paper bag to cover up that horse face. (I know, I know, we’re never satisfied.)

    I also think for being so thin she’s completely full of shit. She does make a lot of $$ and is the top paid supermodel right now. It’s been that way for a while now. She probably wants to keep it hush-hush, hence the denials.

  11. mimi

    i dont see the nips…im a girl and even I was disappointed
    and yeah, I dont know, her face doesnt quite do it for me

  12. ph7

    I like it!

  13. Randal

    I’ve always been impressed with Gisele and how well she’s done for herself over the years as a model. She is by far the richest model in history and the sixteenth richest woman in the entertainment world.

    She is an inspiration to all aspiring models.


  14. Hollard

    @14. You are a homosexual aren’t you? Shut it down buddy.

  15. She’s the greatest fantasy girl ever. A Victoria’s Secret model, so totally acceptable, but skinny as a boy with a face like a horse. So when it’s that special fantasy that every guy has hidden away, and you’re at the point when you’re hoping to be “surprised” by a horsecock, you can still look at these pictures instead of having to close your eyes and pretend.

  16. tina

    hot body, hot career, face not bad, but not so hot

  17. sara

    #16.. sooooo right on.

    it’s like a praying mantis crossed with a grasshopoer crossed with a horse..

    she’s known as a fantastic model though, not necessarily for being a great beauty – being able to take a photo to the sponsor’s liking very quickly without much diva-ness, making her lots and lots of $$$$$.

  18. kate

    she’s a disgusting mindless whore.

  19. Lugh

    She’s so nuclear freaking hot that she’s radioactive.

  20. To everyone saying she is ugly. She may not be your cup of tea, but by no means is she ugly. Amy Crackhouse is ugly, Gisele is a super model – big difference. Too skinny? Maybe, better than being too fat.

    It is funny to hear her deny how much she made last year! And, what’s up with the NSFW stars??? Use those when they are needed, not just to tease those of us hoping for some nip!

  21. NY Ted

    Call me crazy…but I don’t like her. I like some meat with my potatoes! Straw legs & pointy stick faces just don’t do it for me.

    May a crow shit on your hair…and may a bus run over Pretty Boy Brady!

  22. qwertygirl

    who’s, not whose. who is about to suffer a horrible canoe accident. not whose about to suffer a horrible canoe accident.

  23. Deacon Jones

    Hsss! Hssss!!! Put away the claws!

    God damn, what a fucking double standard with you girls. You think I’m bad, but then you trash a fucking supermodel?? Give me a break. God do women hate each other

    Fish – Get to work on those pics of Shauna Sands flashing herself

  24. kate

    it seems kind of pointless to cover your tits but spread your legs wide.

  25. Brian

    I, too, was going to complain about how SFW these NSFW pictures were… But I see that everyone else has already done so.

  26. Frank Rizzo

    There is a God.

  27. Boston Sports Fan

    All I can say is I hope her boyfriend doesn’t break down at the end of this season, like he did last year. The Celtics just won the NBA championship, the Red Sox will repeat as MLB champs in the fall, and then the Patriots need to win the Super Bowl to keep us Boston fans from becoming bored. So, anyway, what’s it like to follow sports in all the other, minor areas of the country? Did your favorite team just win two in a row? Good for you!!!

  28. Boston fan too


  29. peepers

    One year my brother got really sick with crohn’s disease, he lost an enormous amount of weight and had to spend the summer in bed, if you added two widely spaced b-cup tits and a wig to my severly ill brother and made him pose around like a skank he would have looked exactly like this bitch. So yeah none of his guy friends or mine find this chick hot, she looks too much like a man, a man we know and no they don’t find Fatass Kardashian hot either, they seem to like the middle ground of hot and toned yet still shapely women and I have to agree. It’s funny though because we all call Gisele She-Paul and her commercials that are supposed to be sexy just make us laugh our asses off, especially since my bro does a wicked impression of her retarded accent.

    Thank the lord I look like my mother.

  30. Girls

    Hey, Deacon, thanks for lumping us all together! btw, minor misunderstanding – we said we think you’re “sad”.

  31. veggi

    #30 – a major difference is that Gisele doesn’t have a constant retch-inducing diarrhea stench, like your brother.

  32. Report: President Bush Has Lowest IQ of All Presidents of Past 50 Years

    If late night TV comedy is an indicator, then there has never been as widespread a perception that a president is not intellectually qualified for the position he holds as there is with President GW Bush.

    In a report published Monday, the Lovenstein Institute of Scranton, Pennsylvania, detailed its findings of a four-month study of the intelligence quotient of President George W. Bush.

    Since 1973, the Lovenstein Institute has published its research to the education community on each new president, which includes the famous “IQ” report among others.

    According to statements in the report, there have been twelve presidents over the past 50 years, from F. D. Roosevelt to G. W. Bush who were all rated based on scholarly achievements, writings that they alone produced without aid of staff, their ability to speak with clarity, and several other psychological factors which were then scored in the Swanson/Crain system of intelligence ranking.

    The study determined the following IQs of each president as accurate to within five percentage points:

    147 Franklin D. Roosevelt (D)
    132 Harry Truman (D)
    122 Dwight D. Eisenhower (R)
    174 John F. Kennedy (D)
    126 Lyndon B. Johnson (D)
    155 Richard M. Nixon (R)
    121 Gerald Ford (R)
    175 James E. Carter (D)
    105 Ronald Reagan (R)
    098 George HW Bush (R)
    182 William J. Clinton (D)
    091 George W. Bush (R)

    The six Republican presidents of the past 50 years had an average IQ of 115.5, with President Nixon having the highest IQ, at 155.

    President G. W. Bush was rated the lowest of all the Republicans with an IQ of 91. The six Democrat presidents had IQs with an average of 156, with President Clinton having the highest IQ, at 182. President Lyndon B. Johnson was rated the lowest of all the Democrats with an IQ of 126.

    No president other than Carter (D) has released his actual IQ, 176.

    Among comments made concerning the specific testing of President G. W. Bush, his low ratings were due to his apparent difficulty to command the English language in public statements, his limited use of vocabulary (6,500 words for Bush versus an average of 11,000 words for other presidents), his lack of scholarly achievements other than a basic MBA, and an absence of any body of work which could be studied on an intellectual basis. The complete report documents the methods and procedures used to arrive at these ratings, including depth of sentence structure and voice stress confidence analysis.

    “All the Presidents prior to George W. Bush had a least one book under their belt, and most had written several white papers during their education or early careers. Not so with President Bush,” Dr. Lovenstein said. “He has no published works or writings, so in many ways that made it more difficult to arrive at an assessment. We had to rely more heavily on transcripts of his unscripted public speaking.”

    The Lovenstein Institute of Scranton, Pennsylvania, think-tank includes high-caliber historians, psychiatrists, sociologists, scientists in human behavior, and psychologists. Among their ranks are Dr. Werner R. Lovenstein, world-renowned sociologist, and Professor Patricia F. Dilliams, a world-respected psychiatrist.

    This study was commissioned on February 13, 2001, and released on July 9, 2001, to subscribing member universities and organizations within the education community.

  33. Deacon Jones


    I dont see one good comment about her “Girls”

    Man, Kim’s too fat, Giselle’s too skinny…

    I wish you were there in college when the sororities used to bring their freshmen pledges to our house, blindfolded and crying. They would strip them down to their bra and panties, give us markers and tell us to circle their “problem areas” Fucking great! I would have a field day with you I bet

    Beat-off material for weeks, especially DZ and AST chicks, whew!

  34. Lola

    I can’t hate on this girl. I think she’s beautiful…… She’s skinny as hell but must be in her genes cuz I’ve seen alot of pictures of her eating a whole lotta food. And unlike most supermodels, she’s not all coked out nor does she refuse to get out of bed for anything less than $10,000 a day.
    Any girls who say she’s ugly is on some other shit with that. Amy Crackwhore is ugly, that’s right. Freaking Parasite Slut-ton is freaking ugly with her lazy eye looking like a down syndrome reject…. But Giselle, not even close to ugly

  35. Denise





  36. Tom Brady's Fumble

    While I would hit that. The man face would remind me of Michael Strahan coming in for a sack.

  37. mac

    She’s pretty and all but it really makes you afraid that if you touch her you may break something, damn shes skinny!

  38. wat

    Gisele Bundchen might be kind of anorexic and titless

  39. wedemhornets

    no tits i see..they are hiding

  40. Tyler Durden

    Yeah she’s a supermodel, which means she is at the top of a GAY male dominated world that nearly shit its collective pants when they tried to ban women who have a BMI of under 18 from walking the catwalk. Do you know how fucking sickly thin women under 18 BMI are? (I’m a personal trainer and I’ve worked with anorexic girls to help them get healthy) Nicole Richie is around 18 (BMI wise) and these bitches in the modeling world are fucking 10 inches taller so they look even freakier at such low weights. I did some modeling in for a while (sick fucking industry) and when I was in Paris walking the streets NO ONE looked at the female models they look like scarecrow aliens, freakishly tall, starving, pale, miserable aliens and they dress like fucking retards, EVERY guy was looking at the hot young things with tight bodies and beautiful faces with sweet perky little butts; you know the normal hot girls who compare themselves to supermodels. And the models I worked with were all fucing coke heads, with bad attitudes and they were the stupidest most boring women I’ve ever met, no sense of humor, no personality it was fucking unbearable. I could not wait to meet some normal fucking WOmen who actually looked like pretty girls instead of anorexic men, yes I slept with some of the models and it freaked me out, they smelled like cigarettes and their bodies were just skin and bone, you wanna know what it’s like to spank a supermodel, go smack one of your friends on the shoulder; hot? Not so much.

    I don’t sit around and let society dictate who I should find hot. This hag looks like a skinny pot head I went to school with and no one found that turd attractive, she has a naaaaaassty MANLY face and she lacks the sweet hot bod of a WOman. I would take so many women over this fucking bitch and you know she’s a fucking bitch.


    I SMELL FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. p0nk

    33, your IQ must be single digit for posting that along with a link to urban legends pointing out that the ‘study’ was a complete fabrication.

  43. peepers

    Veggi was that supposed to offend me or my brother? Since he has a great sense of humor he is the first one to make fun of himself for that (you could take some notes since you are the least funny person on here) and btw models are the most notorious laxative users ever so you could NOT be more wrong. Now aren’t you a vegetarian, meaning you are the last person who can make fun of stanky shits and putrid bungholes. Now please veggi we all know that you are the most miserable person alive so there is really no need to constantly prove it to us.

  44. magicman

    Dude looks like a lady, kinda? I guesssss?? Her face is not the least bit attractive. She looks manly and with all the makeup and photography tricks they use for these models, that’s pretty disturbing! She’s skinny….that’s about all. No curves, just looks like a tall, skinny, dude with long hair. I don’t get why people think she’s great! Now some may jump on my case and say that I must be gay or something because I find her repulsive but the true fact of the matter is that YOU must be a homo to like this broad because she looks like a dude from some 80′s glam rock band. Nice tuck job Gisele….almost had some of use fooled;)

  45. Lugh


    Your post seems like a lot of mindless left-wing propaganda. You’re probably one (or all) of the following:

    -a conspiracy theorist
    -a gut-sucking faggot
    -a freedom-hating hippie
    -a mindless Obama-loving automaton

    Shut your fucking trap and look at the pictures of the gorgeous woman in front of you rather than whacking off to your photoshopped image of Obama with a halo around his fat, Muslim loving head.

  46. Tom

    I don’t like this chick. She isn’t remotely hot. She’s too skinny and has an ugly face. Definitely the worst of all the famous models.

    That having been said, she’s rich, so of course I’d do her.

  47. John Q. Figglebottom

    I always knew Tom Brady was gay. These pics confirm it. SHE’S A MAN BABBBEEE! Nice horse face, hag!

  48. p0nk

    @44 peepers, you sound like you need to poop.

  49. sweet jesus

    I don’t understand why everyone hates on the skinny chicks, stop being jealous.. we all know your ass is a bag full of cottage cheese. I’d rather look like her than any of these fat, cellulite, Kim Kardashian looking whores that have to cover their butt with a sarong when wearing a swim suit. You poor souls, how do you do it?

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