Gisele Bundchen Hides Her Buns

gisele_bunchen_thumb1.jpgGisele Bundchen has a clause in her contracts that she doesn’t have to show her ass.

“I make a point about that because I don’t want my booty [to show],” she tells Vogue. “I can’t wear like a nun outfit, or something like that, but I make sure that they understand that my booty has to be covered. It’s my booty and I feel like when you’re walking on the runway, God knows where they’re looking. It’s not that I feel self-conscious, it’s that I feel like my booty should be shown on special occasions, for special people.”

Holy crap, she used the word ‘booty’ four times in four sentences. She sounds like a cross between a Redbeard the pirate and Rain Man. And she’s also failing to grasp a very fundamental concept here – every single man (and every flannel-wearing woman) between 10 and 85 has already seen her ass. Repeatedly. And who are these special people she’s talking about showing her ass to anyway? If they’re anything like the ‘special kids’ who went to my school, the minute they see her ass is the minute they start humping the nearest trashcan. Does she want to see that happen? Because I sure do.