Gisele Bundchen has officially moved on

Superficial / December 15, 2005

In my dreams I’ve always imagined that I had a chance of scoring with Gisele Bundchen after she dumped Leonardo DiCaprio, but those dreams die today as I’m faced with the reality of her relationship with Kelly Slater. If all it takes to woo Gisele Bundchen is to win six seven world championship surfing titles, then damnit that’s what I’m going to do. And by “win six seven world championship surfing titles” I mean club her over the head and lock her in my closet.