Gisele Bundchen has officially moved on

December 15th, 2005 // 31 Comments

In my dreams I’ve always imagined that I had a chance of scoring with Gisele Bundchen after she dumped Leonardo DiCaprio, but those dreams die today as I’m faced with the reality of her relationship with Kelly Slater. If all it takes to woo Gisele Bundchen is to win six seven world championship surfing titles, then damnit that’s what I’m going to do. And by “win six seven world championship surfing titles” I mean club her over the head and lock her in my closet.

superficial

  1. nichole

    I JUST saw this picture about an hour ago. My first thought was “wow, only broken up for a month or so with a long time boyfriend and she’s already shacked up.” My second thought was “this model-looking guy does look more her speed, however.”

    And wow I wish I were as tall as she. It sucks being 5’4″.

  2. i think gisele finally regained consciousness from the date rape drug leo had been her all those years

  3. Debra

    Are we sure that’s not two pics of Giselle (one of her lying down flat, the other of her buried half in the sand on an angle) spliced together to make one unnaturally long person?

  4. Sheva

    She’s not that tall is she? Well you can’t juge tall by taller than Leo anyway.

    Why would a model wait? Banging is what they do when they don’t do pictures anyway. Usually it’s the photographers getting the action.

    So why not a surfer dude?

  5. deluxxe

    who the hell is Kelly Slater? Is that the guy from Saved By The Bell?

  6. Binky

    “Knarly Bundchen Dude. Yo. How’s about we kick some sand and pipeline down at Sunset ? Neggo ? Well’s how’s about you rip-curlin’ your hair while I play Kahuna ?” Just imagining his pick-up lines. (Personally I’ve done a few public waves too Gisele – but I tend to leave it at the stadium )

  7. nichole

    Well, to be a model you have to be a certain height, so yeah she’s pretty tall. I was curious, so I googled.

    She’s 5’11″ and only 125 pounds :o

  8. Dj

    Make that 7 World Titles! Sorry Leo…

  9. BEAM

    Not to be racist or anything, but I’m still perplexed at how Brazil manages to produce so many white-girl supermodels. Isnt that like, a latin country?

  10. Captain Awesome

    Who?

  11. al rarow

    I see her booty in this picture!

  12. Melissa

    At BEAM: How bigoted can you be? Yes, Brazil is in Latin America, where (surprise!) lots and lots of white people actually live as well as black people and Asian people and people of all the colors found in the rest of the world! This is probably news to you but the reason they speak Portuguese in Brazil is b/c it was ruled by Portugal, from whence white people have been known to (shock!) also reside… Giselle’s last name must’ve also escaped you as German, so if that makes you feel a lil more comfy in your prejudice, you can chalk up her whiteness to the fact that she has German ancestry, like so many southern Brazilians and Argentines…
    Wow… next you’ll express horror at the site of a non-black Cuban!

  13. ~S.Starr~

    HEY…My step sister is Full Cuban…but she looks more spanish then black.

  14. Mary45

    Let’s get back to the matter at hand shall we…Kelly Slater was banging Pamela Anderson after her 1st breakup with Tommy Lee (or was that the 2nd, 3rd, whatever). Seems to me like Mr. Slater can do more than work a wave…

  15. anonymous

    7. 7 World Titles. But who’s counting.

  16. dopelickit

    many germans moved to south america after the nazis ended.
    my cousin is from argentina and is also a male model- he has blond hair and blue eyes yet considers himself latin.

  17. bluecanary

    I’ve never found her face that attractive, but damn, her ass looks so good I want to touch it. And I’m a GIRL!!!

  18. AD

    “but damn, her ass looks so good I want to touch it.”

    Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see one there…

  19. alteaon

    In Saved by the Bell, there was Kelly Kopidowski and there was A.C ( Albert Clifford) Slater. , but he was the muscular “bad boy” of the group who had father issues….

    Also at five eleven and 125, isn’t that unhealthily thin?…I know..Duh, it is…but by BMI standards..

  20. HollyJ

    OMG THAT’S Kelly Slater?! He’s gone bald! With that and his chicken legs, he looks like someone’s accountant. WTF? How is it that he bumps envied uglies?

  21. Melissa

    @dopelickit: Why wouldn’t your blonde and blue-eyed Agrentine cousin consider himself Latin? Although not the majority, that combo of features abounds in Latin America, esp in Argentina… you people really need to travel more… Seems like everyone thinks that only Northerners are genetically allowed to have light hair/eyes and fair skin… Sad…

  22. thunderbolt

    I think it’s obvious from looking at this picture that in a former life, Giselle Bundchen was a giraffe.

  23. Cstarz

    who cares… they will both be dead from skin cancer in 5 years.

  24. melissa,
    you need to freakin chill out. good lord people are uptight!

  25. GiseleBundchen

    Que ele traga essa rebeldia, essa ira santa, esse destemor da mocidade, para dar
    uma surra eleitoral nessa gente que destruiu a bandeira que

  26. Binky

    (Hummmm…I wonder if Gisele is trying to say ” Do me Binky ” in Portugese…)

  27. Binky

    or I mean “I’m available for a meaningful relationship Senior Binky”

  28. GiseleBundchen

    Os pol

  29. Binky

    (I love it when she gets political)

    Si babe – Si

  30. GiseleBundchen

    Os rumores de que Gisele B

  31. müller

    Just a hit: latin are those who speak the languages derived from latin. It has nothing to do with race/color skin.

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