Gisele Bundchen Shits All Over The Patriots

“Shh… Shh… Now you listen to me, Tom Brady. There’s one thing you’ll always have that no one can ever take.”
“My waterslide? And what do you mean ‘take?’ Ohmygod, is it in trouble?!”

Because Gisele Bundchen’s friends and family in Brazil speak a strange, non-American tongue, God didn’t hear their prayers which caused Tom Brady to lose the Super Bowl last night and a furious Gisele to take her anger out on his teammates. TMZ reports:

On her way out of the stadium last night, the supermodel was heckled by New York Giants fans … one who screamed, “Eli owns your husband.”
Gisele didn’t shout back … but turned to a friend and said, “My husband can not fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

In Gisele Bundchen’s defense, the Patriots did drop a shit-ton of balls, but in their defense, it’s kind of hard to see when a bright blinding light keeps shining in their eyes yelling, “You will answer for Tebow, blasphemer!”

Photos: Getty