Gisele Bundchen in a Bikini

March 7th, 2011 // 119 Comments

While last week ended with Charlie Sheen and Mike Huckabee battling for Crazy Talk Throne, it seems only fair that this one should start with a supermodel in a bikini, thus restoring balance to the site. So here’s Gisele Bundchen vacationing in Brazil yesterday with Tom Brady who I took the liberty of also posting pictures of because I honestly can’t decide who’s more strikingly feminine. Seriously, if somebody put a gun to my head and forced me to choose, I’d probably say, “I dunno, the girl,” then jump out a window before anyone realized that wasn’t a real choice. And I’m not just saying that because I wish my hair had that level of body and shine. — He’s using her conditioner isn’t he? That has to be it…

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Sugar

    I don’t think she’s too skinny but she just looks..lumpy. This is the first time I’ve ever seen her body not look perfect. Age (and pregnancy) happens.

  2. fx

    looking good in that swimsuit tom

  3. chaz

    No hips.

  4. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Other day my mother asked why I don’t look like Gisele since she read that Gisele don’t go to the gym, like me… come on nobody get those abs without hit the gym twice a day at least… she do not hit the gym my a…….

  5. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Her stomach looks like a pancake JUST before you know to flip it for the first time.

  6. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, is she that sapling in the middle?

  7. Erock

    Wow, she got her implants removed. Not sure if thats a good thing here..

  8. CakeSnifferer

    Built like Brad Pitt in Fight Club, only scrawny.

  9. m

    She doesn’t look too skinny to me, her body is toned. Her body looks good except the belly, the belly looks scary because she had a baby, and she spends too much time at the gym. Cameron Diaz has the same belly.

    • asdf

      That’s not a healthy for a woman. She has to have almost no body fat to obtain that shape.

      • m

        Are you saying thin women are not healthy?
        Not every woman is curvy. There are many naturally thin women who eat everything and stay that thin. They are much healthier than a fat one who starves herself to lose weight imo.

    • asdf

      Where did I say that? It’s unhealthy for a woman to be that muscular. Naturally thin ≠ muscular to the point where you look like a man. I bet her ovaries look like raisins.

      Drop the complex, no tits.

      • m

        She doesn’t look like a man, she looks like an athlete and has all curves she needs. Eating disorders and being obese is unhealthy. Stop the hating.

      • asdf

        Her waist-to-hip ratio is 0 – that’s a pretty popular indicator of attractiveness right there.

        Being overly muscular is a body dimorphic disorder too, you ignorant twat.

      • m

        1) She is not overly muscular, she is fit.

        2)You can call me ‘ignorant twat’ or anything you want, I don’t care because I’m not. Looks like you have some serious self issues.
        Hating ppl doesn’t help you lose weight or whatever your problem is.

  10. seth

    Tom has a more feminine face than her!

  11. I want to offer this as an example for all you fattie fetishists out there who are constantly harping “you people don’t know what a REAL woman looks like, you think every woman should be skin and bones”

    well, here is a genuinely skinny woman…and she is just a fucking gross as a 250 pound fatty.

    “Real” women come in all shapes and sizes…”attractive” women belong to a much narrower range.

  12. Mel Gibson's Shrink


  13. winter

    Jim Carrey as Vera Di Milo looked better in a bikini than she does. Oy!

  14. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Commented on this photo:


  15. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Commented on this photo:

    Paula Poundstone looks great.

  16. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate how good she looks.

  17. hmmm

    She is shaped like an ironing board.


    it’s not that she’s too skinny, she has no waist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m shocked by famous models that have this obvious flaw in their. thin, but with a waist is what a model should look like.

    • m

      She has no waist because she’s working out like an athlete. Female athletes have the same shape with no waist, nobody says they look gross.

      • reformed_druid

        If she is working out how come she is more defined than she is. She looks flabby and she has no waist. She looks like a dude.

  19. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom was the one who had to post, because not even Bill Belichick would want video of this.

  20. Cardinal Fang

    Nice bush!!! lol

  21. whatever

    Thats a d*mn shame…

  22. Snarky_Pup

    Disgusting manly face and body and no, I am not talking about Tom.

  23. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


    Courage is the power to face your difficulties.
    It comes from the reserves of your mind
    That are more powerful then any of your outside circumstances.

    When you recognize that you are bigger than your problems,
    You gain the courage necessary to overcome anything.

    Your obstacles will look large or small to you
    According to whether you are large or small.
    Courage is the capacity

    To confront what can be imagined.

    It gives you the ability to rise above reality.

    You are more important than any of your problems.

  24. smoke

    MY EYES!!!……………. MY EYES!!!!!!! Man that hurts, :-(

  25. Burt

    My brother used to hang out with her and Leo DiCaprio when they were together. She had amazing legs, he said…But, my brother likes women who are a bit on the manly side…I wonder about him.

  26. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This gl is not as hot as half of Maxim 100. Yes she got in as this wonderful model, but hell over half of the Maxim or Playboy women look better as well as the SI gals of this years swimsuit issue. Tom is a lucky man to get a beautiful woman such as Gisele- but she is not the hoopla that everyone gives her !!! She is the one that caught Tom Brady. Tom Brady is not the one who caught her .

  27. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    No ass either, they are making it easier and easier to slip those trannies into the mix. You guys better watch out or you may find yourselves drooling over a dude for real sooner than you think.

  28. missingthepoint

    Seriously, whoever thinks your basic body shape changes because you’ve had a baby or because you work out a lot, or even when you lose or put on a lot of weight, doesn’t know much about bodies. Mass changes, proportions remain the same.
    If Gisele Bundchen looks like she has no waist here, it’s because she has no waist. Models are generally chosen to be broad-shouldered and slim-hipped (ergo, a lot don’t have a defined waist – that goes with the hips, people). As for the VS catalogues, have you never heard what styling and Photoshop can do?

  29. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    um, are you guys looking at the same picture as me? she has more masculine stomach than me. Bitch looks like a dude

  30. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Personification of the Gods that built Mount Olympus
    Commented on this photo:

    Gisele is nasty, I wouldn’t sniff coke on her ass if she was the last woman on earth.

  31. Trace

    Please read the Holy Bible:

    You be the authority with God’s word for God’s word is the authority.
    Please read this in Romans chapter 1. How plain it is that the ONE TRUE GOD IS VERY MUCH AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY. It is the serverist case against this type of fornication.

  32. I just do not see the appeal of this chick; never have. She’s straight up and down, no curves, no boobs…average face…I don’t get it…Super model? model maybe….

  33. gfd

    Isn’t perfect big boombastic hip to ratio only important for Jay Z big pimpin music video auditions? She has long legs,arms,neck,high cheekbones, is tall,can take a superb photo,rule a catwalk like no other….um aren’t those qualities more important in being a top model than who has the biggest bubble butt and smallest waist? that is for the porn industry only.

  34. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks way different photoshopped

    doesnt look too good in candids

  35. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    She's a man, baby
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture explains everything: the photos we see of her on modeling assignments were all taken with that funhouse mirror that stretches her out a foot taller.

  36. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s getting ready to give birth to a new and improved Wes Welker.

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