Gisele Bundchen in a Bikini

March 7th, 2011 // 119 Comments

While last week ended with Charlie Sheen and Mike Huckabee battling for Crazy Talk Throne, it seems only fair that this one should start with a supermodel in a bikini, thus restoring balance to the site. So here’s Gisele Bundchen vacationing in Brazil yesterday with Tom Brady who I took the liberty of also posting pictures of because I honestly can’t decide who’s more strikingly feminine. Seriously, if somebody put a gun to my head and forced me to choose, I’d probably say, “I dunno, the girl,” then jump out a window before anyone realized that wasn’t a real choice. And I’m not just saying that because I wish my hair had that level of body and shine. — He’s using her conditioner isn’t he? That has to be it…

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Lang

    “Lady looks like a dude,” sung to the tune of “Dude looks like a lady.”

  2. Ash Bones


  3. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing more awesome than Gisele Bundchen in a bikini? Two Gisele Bundchens in bikinis.

  4. Aussie Mama

    she’d be like fucking a skeleton

  5. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I am not saying she is hot, but my pants just caught fire.

  6. jenyjenjen

    Tummy tuck?

  7. PtC

    It’s the new line of RealDoll sex toys. Standard bikini body with interchangeable heads: Gisele Bundchen, Kelly Bensimon, and Julie Bowen.

  8. What the holy fuck happened to her? Fish, could you repost Cameron Diaz in a bikini just to establish some sort of baseline so my brain can reset?

  9. The Critical Crassness

    WTF happened to Gisele….Brady must really be hard to live with for her to be so desperate that she is trying to commit suicide by starvation.

  10. jackie

    she is a fashion model, not a sex toy. can’t believe some comments I read.

    • The Critical Crassness

      WTF, Is she a fashion model for “Skeleton Sheek” ? Who says she isn’t a sex toy? Bet Brady has a different point of view on that subject!

    • XYZ

      What a convenient excuse when ure looking like hell. Idiot!

    • asdf

      She’s a lingerie model. God knows why though because she looks like a man and most women who aren’t fat have a better figure than her.

      • Sara Lee Delicious Cheesecake!

        Shallow and dumb – requirements on a model application. And being as nice as I possibly can, she is either a very unattractive woman or a very beautiful man. Have your pick!

  11. Myclamisaninnie

    I am all for being lean and fit, but this bitch needs to eat. Can you imagine a poor little fetus , hungry all the time, when she was preggo?

    Seriously, there is no way that baby was getting enough food, no way in hell.


  12. oohlilit

    Wait a minute.. Those aren’t the same boobs from the Victoria’s Secret catalogues! What else have I been lied about??

  13. XYZ

    I wanna puke… If this is a hot, sexy body, then this world has reached its end. She has nothing to do with her job. She is skinny, ugly, mannish. Im sure Tom Brady shakes his dick somewhere else, lol…

  14. the captain

    apparently americans are used to dead bodies, folks?

  15. moody

    Oh no, has Kelly Ripa been talking to her belly button?

  16. Marceelf

    Umm, am I the only one noticing that her abs look strikingly similar to Tara Reid’s? Get out from behind the funhouse glass balcony, Gisele!

    • Sandy

      No, I totally noticed that!! Tara Reid was the first thing that came to my mind when I saw her stomach! I don’t see the appeal in her but the media says she’s attractive so the masses shall follow!?

    • Burt

      Skinny girl who got a tummy tuck?

  17. Oz Matters

    Nice bush.

  18. Snickers

    If that’s supposed to be an attractive figure on a woman, me and my size 5 self are screwed. But I like food too much to really give a crap.

  19. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Commented on this photo:

    Do I really look just like my character on “Family Guy”?

  20. Morgan

    Pregnancy & breastfeeding pretty much wrecks a woman’s body, god you guys are crass.

    • c

      not necessarily. adriana lima just had a baby and her body is rockin. same with miranda kerr. it’s all about how you take care of your body during pregnancy. gisele’s body was already kind of “meh,” IMO. always had a square waist and a short torso. now she’s just bones.

    • Burt

      Didn’t affect my wife’s hotness one bit. University aged guys half her age still hit on her not knowing she’s a member of faculty.

  21. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    K Soze
    Commented on this photo:

    Shes fine. You guys are ridiculous (not to mention every one of you would fuck her if given a chance)…so she looks rough in one series of shots. I’ve seen enough of her, both photoshopped and NOT, when she was out w that tulip shes with, to know she looks just fine. One bad series of pics does not a fugly woman make.

    And for some reason, although i cant quite place a finger in……..on it, i get the distinct impression (not just from today but other posts on her as well) that shes a great fuck. I usually figure most models/supermodels arent, given that all they have to do is lay there but every now and then, one just gives me that impression. That, combined w the fact shes got legs for days, is enough to make me hate T Brady just alittle bit more today.

  22. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    K Soze
    Commented on this photo:

    And after a second look- those bikini pics arent that fucking bad – sure, theres a few shitty ones..whatever…the rest, she looks fucking hot.

  23. Eric

    I know I’m supposed to like this because she’s fit, and I wouldn’t turn it down, but it would be like boning a sack of rakes. Her hips are smaller than mine.

  24. Eric

    Nice bush.

  25. rican


  26. Gerbil in my Butt

    Girl needs to eat a sammich!

  27. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead ma’am walking.

  28. eww she looks like death warmed over. is that her appendix about to poke thru her skin?

  29. Herself

    If Brady gets highlights, then they can officially turn into the new Ellen and Portia.

  30. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Commented on this photo:

    The dilemma is whether he’s overly feminine or she’s a big butch. Guys start taking steroids to get obliques like that. Yuck.

  31. Coyote

    I wouldn’t even do her with Charlie Sheen’s DIck

  32. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord. He needs a makeover. I like long hair on a guy but that hat must be burnt immediately.
    Wife appears to have lost all body fat. Good for modeling; not so good for casual bikini snaps.

  33. Shlongface

    Do you suppose he ever frots himself to completion against her ab/oblique area? Looks like there are plenty enough ridges and bumps to get the job done.

  34. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Would someone please cut that fucking bush down?


  35. lori

    Scrawny and stringy and long stringy hair is really in right now I guess.

  36. Wishbone

    Nice hair..yep…that’s all I can say

  37. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing else SCREAMS “tool” bigger than this photo, short of an actual hammer.

  38. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow look at those curves. Jesus bring back real woman shape like Marilyn.

  39. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Commented on this photo:

    If NFL QBs with multiple Super Bowl rings are feminine, then I guess Brady would be right up there with Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, John Elway and Terry Bradshaw.

  40. Any Guy

    Tom Brady = DOUCHE.

    you leave your baby mamma for THIS???

    Bridget Moynahan SMOKES this nasty stick-thin kraut broad.

    why can’t we get a Bridget Moynahan bikini-shot to compare? HUH FISH?

    • x

      lol, he didn’t leave his baby momma. he broke up with his girlfriend who told him she was pregz 3 months later. also, there is such a thing as personality.

      • kitty_kat

        Yeah. And Gisele doesn’t have that either. It seems that she says something rude or ignorant every time she opens her mouth.

        She’s never had a very nice body. She always had a mannish, boxy figure. It’s just more noticeable now that she’s removed her breast implants.

  41. Michelle

    Have to admit I am disappointed. Giselle in a bikini and Tom wearing more cloths than an eskimo. Fish you need to step it up a notch on the male postings….and don’t think a charlie post is going to cut it.

  42. Jenny with a Y

    That’s not your baby mama, that’s a man, Tom Brady!

    (Cus “Brady” rhymes with “Baby”! Get it? Get it? I’m here all week.)

  43. Tom Brady Long Hair Gisele Bundchen
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks more masculine than he!!

  44. Cock Dr

    Brazillian string bean dish, low fat, served without sauce & at room temp.

  45. Gisele Bundchen Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    i can’t wait for all the “this is how all women in brazil look” comments to begin……

  46. JB

    Holy mullet, Batman!

  47. Talk Hard

    As Sofia Veragara said, the skinny models look good in clothes but she looks better naked. The same goes here.

  48. Vivian

    So, this Brady guy is secretly gay and likes to f…k boys? That would explain a lot

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