Gerard Butler Was Banging Chicks in Porta-Potties At Coachella. Of Course.

April 17th, 2012 // 33 Comments
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“Where. Is. The SHITTAAAAAAA?”

If you already saw these pics of Gerard Butler at Coachella over the weekend – particularly this one – you probably won’t be surprised to learn he also spent his time at a hipster music festival making hippie chicks blow him above a chemical toilet. There’s a reason he stars in all those romantic comedies. Page Six reports:

Butler led his mystery brunette out into the open air for a seductive slow dance in an empty patch of pavement. “The two were grinding like they were at a middle school dance,” says our spy. “He didn’t seem to care who was watching.” After their spin, our spy watched Butler accompany his dance partner to the Porta-Potties before they returned to the carnival-themed bash.

GIRL: Ohmygod, I can’t believe I’m having sex with Gerard Butler!
GERARD: Aye. And I can’t believe I didn’a vomit when your bloody foot fell in the toilet. ‘S happen’d twice already today, ya know? Like some sorta switch in mah belly.
GIRL: Oh, Gerard!

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Frank Burns

    Stay classy, Gerard. Or, go away. Either one is fine.

  2. Jack Ketch

    Is there supposed to be some sort of appeal here ? I don’t get it … he’s about as attractive as an old horse blanket. Gross. Way overrated :|

    • Cutie

      I totally agree with you.
      If I was walking down the street alone at night and see this guy I would run so fast.
      Zac Efron and James Franco are hot.

  3. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    Far fig New Fin
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like an awesome place to catch herpes.

  4. Donald Duck

    Looks like he ran out of the supply of HGH and Roids they gave him for 300.

  5. Oogidyboogidy

    Hippies…right. The original hippies were broke, jobless, stunk of stale weed and didn’t bathe for weeks on end. These douchebags are largely trust fund kiddies that haven’t worked a day in their worthless lives and wouldn’t know a political cause from a sale at the local Apple store. Not that we need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks, because they’d all get deferrals thanks to their rich daddies.

    • EricLr

      I’m trying to decide which I hate more.

      • Oscar

        lovely lovley lovley mate. Your digital paints are so uniquely yours. Its great to see someone making stuff that does not look like everyone elses!

    • self funded

      @ Oogidy since when are music festivals about political issues. I was there and frankly the lack of politics was refreshing. lining up for booze and far to many hipsters was not.

  6. Alex

    That had to be the funniest bit of dialogue I’ve ever read, Fish. Nice job.

  7. FickleTribble

    It’s Hyde from that 70s show twenty years later if he had a mountain of cocaine and Eric’s sister on tap.

  8. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Him? he’s my boyfriend. But I’ll still blow you in that Porta-Potty over there.”

  9. EricLr

    I’m just glad they replaced Russell Crowe with someone who would rather bang random hippies than punch random yuppies.

  10. Kodos

    I don’t think I even like using porta-potties for their intended function….

      • William

        That would work IF you were to make payments on the crdeit card while you still had zero owed/interest. Otherwise, when the 0% interest time period is up, you’ll get ALL the back interest added onto your total amount owed. It’d have to be done about 60 days before the 0% is up. Balance transfers aren’t done overnight. My mom had excellent crdeit did what you’re wanting to do. She made the payments like she would have to a finance company, but to the crdeit card company for the whole time of her 0% timeframe. Right before it was up, she got some money from an accident settlement paid it off. The crdeit card company tried to attach an early payoff fee penalty. She fought it & won; they had to eat the fee. Sounds like a good plan to purchase the car. Just make sure to read ALL the fine print of the 0% card(s) so that you don’t misunderstand one inch. AND so you can avoid any hidden fees. Was this answer helpful?

  11. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, wanna go to the blue lagoon with me? No? Alrighty then!”

  12. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Put your blurred-out penis back in your pants until we get there, okay?”

  13. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    her: “You smell like a urinal cake.”
    him: “DOES THAT AROUSE AND OR EXCITE YOU BECAUSE I AM GOING BACK IN THERE AGAIN WITH OR WITHOUT YOU”

  14. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “I know they have a hand washer in there, but I’m not so sure about the mouthwash.”

  15. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “All this music is making me horny! Ladies?”

  16. LMAO. The Scottish brogue by Fish had me rolling… Well played sir!

  17. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “These pipes are clean!!!!!!!’

  18. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s imaginary bongos time !!”

  19. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “ah yes, there is some pubic hair in your teeth.”

  20. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “lady’s choice – port o san or johnny on the spot ?”

  21. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes !!! Guys with beards admission free.”

  22. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “out of my way !!! turtlehead poking out”

  23. Gerard Butler Wasted Port A Potty Sex Coachella
    lori
    Commented on this photo:

    I loove your moobs.

  24. aYA JEBT

    I still think Gerard Butler is the handsomest man on the screen today.I also know that he is a very compassionate person and does a lot of charity work.And no he doesn’t stink.You are all being so unkind to a lovely person.

  25. anonymous love

    Thank you Gerard Butler for that wonderful movie “Machine Gun Preacher”.I loved it. Looking forward to chasing Mavericks.I would love in if you would do a serious dramatic love story.Your perfect as a leading man,with those looks of yours.Your the definition of sexy.You can wrap your cape around me and take me anywhere.Loved you in “Phantom of the Opera”.What a talented beautiful person you are.God bless you Gerard Butler.

  26. ANONYMOUS B

    all I got to say to Lainey who hates Gerard Butler,apparently she doesn’t have a working vagina,or no pulse,or she has to be gay.If she finds gerard butler homely.

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