George Michael was arrested for possession of crack cocaine in a public restroom on Friday, according to the BBC:
“A 45-year-old man was arrested on 19 September on suspicion of possession of drugs in the Hampstead Heath area,” a Metropolitan Police spokesman said.
In a statement Michael said: “I want to apologise to my fans for screwing up again, and to promise them I’ll sort myself out. And to say sorry to everybody else, just for boring them.”
Jesus, what the hell do London cops do all day? Look underneath restroom stalls for George Michael? Seriously, it’s either that, or he’s the world’s shittiest criminal. It’s almost like he locks himself in a stall then yells “Hey, I’m smoking crack in here!” Or, the always popular, “I HOPE NOBODY HEARS ME MASTURBATING!”