George Michael hearts restrooms (Oh, and crack. Don’t forget crack.)

September 22nd, 2008 // 44 Comments

George Michael was arrested for possession of crack cocaine in a public restroom on Friday, according to the BBC:

“A 45-year-old man was arrested on 19 September on suspicion of possession of drugs in the Hampstead Heath area,” a Metropolitan Police spokesman said.
In a statement Michael said: “I want to apologise to my fans for screwing up again, and to promise them I’ll sort myself out. And to say sorry to everybody else, just for boring them.”

Jesus, what the hell do London cops do all day? Look underneath restroom stalls for George Michael? Seriously, it’s either that, or he’s the world’s shittiest criminal. It’s almost like he locks himself in a stall then yells “Hey, I’m smoking crack in here!” Or, the always popular, “I HOPE NOBODY HEARS ME MASTURBATING!”

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  1. Aussie

    First?

  2. veggi

    He “smokes crack” all right…

    Too bad he didn’t accidentally burn himself up on the toilet. Then all the bitches who visit this site now can rehearse all their pathetic moaning about how tragic it is and how many prayers they’ll say for him. Try developing a backbone, pussies.

  3. BMurphy72

    To bad, George is the man, excellent show here in the Atlanta.

  4. The poor queen just want to smoke crack and get “wham”! whats wrong with that…

  5. BMurphy72

    Maybe he likes the taste……Maybe they should come out with a Crack Zero that is supose to taste like crack but really taste much worst with none of the affects or calories……..

  6. m.munroe

    he wants to go to jail. theres lots of penis there for him. …ooh, can i get in there too??

  7. Ginormagantuan

    Good-ol’ George Michaels! I know right what is up with this guy getting in trouble in bathrooms????? fuck man! but then again he prob wants the thrill of a good prison fuck!

  8. it's me Fuckers!

    That’s just fucking gross. Public restrooms? *gags* Talk about wanting to be a dirty fuck. Look at the money he has, he can afford to buy the boys he wants but CHOOSES to play in public restrooms. It must be some sort of fetish…

  9. Ginormagantuan

    Good-ol’ George Michaels! I know right what is up with this guy getting in trouble in bathrooms????? fuck man! but then again he prob wants the thrill of a good prison fuck!

  10. havoc

    This guy has serious issues. What’s with the public restrooms? That’s gross man….

    .

  11. What is it with these wildly rich white musicians getting busted with crack, all of the sudden? I guess it’s finally shaken its reputation as a ghetto trash drug.

  12. yukadoozer

    Don’t worry-your 80s fan base will always be there for you-maybe Andrew will take you back and you could wear those cool “LIFE!” t-shirts again.
    (On a side note-he looks too fat to be a crackhead)

  13. GG1000

    Dude, you can afford to have a fake public restroom built in your home, then go out and rent you some @ss, get some drugs delivered and play there, where there aren’t any cops, OK? He must do this like, every day, to get busted as often as he does.

  14. I smoke crack. How else could I stayed married to Michelle?

  15. Missy

    How sad! I hope he gets his shit together one day….

  16. farty_mcshitface

    yeh, i think he just wants to get his faggy little bum plowed by all those prison peckers!!
    he should be banned from public restrooms. i would definitely leave if i saw that creep walk in since he is probably just going to get all coked up (if he isn’t already) and and start doing all that crazy, faggy shit.

  17. Diana

    He must REALLY like bathrooms. Maybe he wanted to get caught. Cause he could have done the drug thing at home where no one would have known. He’s begging for help. I hope those close to him give him the help he needs. Good luck, Gerorge.

  18. yeah dude

    I always want to spend time in the public restrooms, especially at the gas stations

  19. havoc

    Hey George….don’t eat the giant mint…..

    .

  20. Slut

    #2 Veggi-let’s be honest…you know you were secretly singing “Father Figure” to yourself in the bathroom this morning, having a George Michael-Elton John threesome fantasy. Now take the gerbil out of your A*s and admit it!

  21. dhazz

    He never said he smoked crack; only Fish said he smoked crack, and then others starting with veggi, said he smoked crack. For the record, he merely had crack in his possession. Actually, he was in the public restroom smoking pole and eating poo out of unflushed toilets.

    Pole and poo, that’s George Michael (and candidape Barking Obongo, the next Commander In Chimp).

  22. sameshitdifferentyear

    Yes he certainly loves crack.

    He also enjoys taking illicit drugs…

    Ba-ZING!!!!!!!!

    Yeah the joke was already old by the time is got here, I gave my own take on it

  23. appropriate pic… looks like he’s getting ready to get banged from behind

  24. “Father Figure” is the fucking jam. I hope he finally gets his shit together. Very underrated musician.

  25. Brutor

    > “A 45-year-old man was arrested on 19 September on suspicion
    > of possession of drugs in the Hampstead Heath area”

    I guess renaming it a “Health Area” didn’t stop people from selling drugs or engaging in anonymous gay sex there.

    Go figure.

  26. #25, it reads “Heath” not “Health”

  27. eurotrash

    outa all of his famous songs father figure was the first one that popped into my head too while reading this article.
    weird.

  28. CaptainMorgan

    George Michael “does crack.” Never heard a truer statement. I also heard the cops let him “get off” and just gave him a warning.

  29. mamadough

    who knew that george michael was a republican?

  30. missywissy

    @24- I absolutely agree that he is completely underrated as a singer. At least George Michael owns who he is, although it does seem a bit of a sad life.

    I love how everybody has their hateful queer comments on here. Couldn’t anybody in here at least try to be origional? Just because a person likes his music, doesn’t deem sexual preference. Only a child would consider a notion like that.

    Don’t understand why it seems like the most talented entertainers are the ones that are in the most pain. Guess I’ll be one of those that says a prayer for this man.

  31. bootlicker

    Did he smoke crack with BaCrack Oboogabooga?

  32. feebee

    you can call the man a lot of things but the “republican” comment was totally uncalled for. I hope George gets himself as sorted out as he wants to and keeps giving the world his music cos frankly if I have that I couldn’t care less what the fuck he gets up to in the bathrooms.

    PS 21 and 31… is your racist ignorance supposed to be funny? god you’re sad.

  33. Yank and Wank - they rhyme for a reason

    Yeah it’s all they do, George Michael is the most infamous criminal over here in England.

  34. I thought he was on tour right now? Damn. I love his voice and his solo albums were quite good. Such a total waste of real talent. Makes me sad for him…..

  35. feebee can go eat poo

    I’m not a sad god,but rather, a happy one! Whatever god you worship, you can renounce it, and worship me instead!

    You can go eat poo now shitskin! : D

  36. woodhorse

    So that’s why Pete Doherty never goes to jail. He stays out of bathrooms. Go over to Pete’s house George. London’s finest is protecting the defecators and urinators.

  37. jit

    LOL. Hilarious article.

  38. HorribleJudgment

    George Michael is always entertaining! I can hardly wait to hear what he’ll be doing next in a bathroom. Uh, on second thought…Behind the wheel of a car! Falling asleep again maybe?

    And yes, the picture above does make it look as if he’s being banged from behind. Not such an unbelievable position for George Michael to be in.

  39. friendlyfires

    Unfortunately, George Michael lives part of the time here in Dallas, let’s just say in Oak Lawn area, they have a more “relaxed” attitude towards that type of behavior, so poor Michael kind of got spoiled. Blame Dallas, Michael, we should have been stricter towards you and your wife (or is that husband, it’s hard to tell, you both switch back forth between roles so quickly my head swims like Michael Phillips, what’s that, a gold medal? Why thank you! Thank you very much, indeed. Yes, and I did that without a drop of caffeine, nasal decongestant, OTC anything, although I did hold a Milky Way Mini in my mouth for twenty minutes, disqualified? Really? Shit! Fuck you! Fuck you and your sister! Fuck the lot of you! Where’s the cheese? Snort! Better … Camembert? I distinctly asked for Stilton … bastards!!!)

  40. be sure: FAGGOTS LOVE CRACK!!

  41. Jemma

    The dumbest thing is that Hampstead Heath is a notorious gay hang out and drugs place where good old george has been caught in many times before.

  42. Mistik

    Isn’t he a little bit too old for that crap?? Weirdo!!
    I hate stupid people like that.. blah..

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