George Clooney’s new girlfriend seems nice

July 31st, 2009 // 121 Comments

Here’s George Clooney’s new girlfriend 30-year-old Italian actress Elisabetta Canalis who apparently has a deep love for showing her breasts. Even while playing a nun. I love her already. Which is unfortunate because judging by a recent interview , she’s in for a world of disappointment with the Clooney. People reports:

“I have now become more fussy about who I date. And in any case my future boyfriend will have to share my bed with [her mini Doberman] Piero, too,” she recently told Italian magazine Tu. “Before in love I used to play much more, now I don’t want to waste any more time with wrong relationships. I just want someone who can make me find tranquility. I want to get home and find a person who can make me feel good.”

Jesus. She’s looking for a lasting relationship and thought George Clooney was the perfect candidate? The George Clooney who goes through cocktail waitresses like toilet paper? Seriously, I saw him use one the other day just to wipe mud off his tires. Then he balled her up and threw her at the neighbor kid for stepping on his lawn.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of divine nipplegy.


  1. Oh Good Lord. George….your taste is really hitting the dregs.

  2. bot

    woof. total butterface.

  3. audrey

    She’s way too hot for George. How old is he anyways, about 50?

  4. Mr. Perfect

    She’s got that monkey look like all Italian chicks and clearly her best years are behind her, but I’d let her lick my butthole before I shot my load in her face.

  5. brad pitt

    I guess… if you’re into that…

    Could use a few more tattoos… and 10 more kids, but whatever floats your boat George…

  6. amanda

    is she a porn actress? “virgin territory” come on now…..

  7. EB

    Hmmm…give me a few beers, and I’d sail through her canalis

  8. Delgo

    Gots them big ravioli/pierogi nipples

  9. hammer66

    Fuck you Clooney

  10. Josh


  11. stickkeys

    Dude should’ve stayed w/ that Emmanuelle in Space chick. Although I wouldn’t kick this one out of bed either.

  12. At least shes not a Las Vegas waitress/hooker like the last two “girlfriends”…

  13. e-rock

    This chicks body is just not fair. Pure perfection… , but the face… not so much?

  14. The photo shoot pic had me sold till I clicked the page and saw the other ones and almost spit out my coffee and gave myself 3rd degree burns on my crotch. Clooney is seriously taking his European Invasion a little bit too serious I think.

  15. you guys are retarded

    damn, this girl is hott. this girl is the kind of hott where you look at her and go “yeah, maybe if I was, like, george clooney or something…” unless you’re george clooney and then you just go “hey, I’m george clooney” and make that stupid smile.

  16. Dread not


  17. Eww

    Why isnt anyone commenting on her apparent mullet?

  18. jon

    @ 15- yes, yes, YES! Perfect.

  19. Venom

    Seriously women, what’s so great about George Clooney? I mean, if he was a broke nobody, would he still be so “handsome”? Don’t lie to yourselves.

    As for the chick… she’s ok. Like #11 said: I wouldn’t kick her out of the bed.

  20. msanders1212

    Man hands.

  21. George Clooney is very handsome actually…in my opinion #19 (even without being wealthy). But I’m sorry…this woman….mehh…I’m not impressed in the least. She has a masculine face. Her boobs are the only appealing thing on her lol.

  22. Dewy

    good lookin’ girl, who’ll dress like a nun and then undress…….I like a girl who is into religion and still has some bad “habits”!!!

  23. clooneyisintosm

    In hollywood, the men have low standards, while the women have very high standards.

  24. kingofbeer

    now that is grade A prime piece of ass, give her a 10+1

  25. marcus

    She looks great in the first airbrushed photo. But in the candid shots she looks plain to below average.

  26. nope

    There’s no such thing as a mini doberman. The mini pinscher was developed before the doberman. Other than them both being pinschers, they’re not related.

  27. britneysucks

    She’s amazing, you fools. And George would be hot even if he were a bricklayer–or homeless.

  28. TommyP

    I have it on good authority that pinscher is German for Terrier so #26, they’re less than related – their both smallish German dogs (although I had also heard the min-pin was the older breed and was partly used to develop the Doberman – as well as the Rottweiler)!

    Though, having had both: the min-pin has more attitude but NO ONE wants to meet a Doberman in the doorway of a dark house late at night! Friend NOR foe

  29. Venom

    @ #21

    Stop lying to yourself, Alli…

    No disrespect, but how old are you? Sorry, I can’t fathom a teen or a twenty-something year old thinking that Clooney is handsome. Money and fame can make anyone “look” good. :-P

  30. havoc

    I would totally be into the nun outfit. Oh hell yeah….


  31. Beejoo


    While true overall, they’re actually still fairly closely related as both breeds started as the German Pinscher (along with most of the Schnauzer breeds). So, while your statement is correct, it’s a little misleading.

  32. Puuurrrfect

    “Mr. Perfect – July 31, 2009 1:04 PM She’s got that monkey look like all Italian chicks and clearly her best years are behind her”

    Let me stop you there Mr. Perfect: sorry, but not all Italian chicks looks like this one. May I remind you of Monica Bellucci, Carla Bruni, or Caterina Murino? By the way, what kind of sicko writes that Italian chicks look like monkeys: you racist moron.

  33. Neko

    She expressed her distaste for oral and anal secs. As a matter of fact, she’s basically a nun. Only real nuns blow more than her.

  34. gotmilk?

    george clooney is old news, emphasis on OLD. so yeah, 29 is right, except that money and fame aren’t even helping in old timer George’s case.

    as for this bitch, she’s just flat out ugly in the face. in fact, she looks like more of a man than Clooney in picture 7.

  35. chupacabra

    whoa… that face is very very meh.

    She photos well when done by a professional. Why does Georgie boy keep picking butterfaces?

  36. Bert

    her face looks like a MAN!!!!!

  37. I think she’s beautiful.

  38. Eff Clooney and this distant cousin of lady gaga before the nose surgery…

  39. lori

    Another beard.

  40. Amy

    I’m 24 and I don’t think George Clooney is attractive. I think he was at one time, but now he’s just too old. Women just date him because of the name and the money. Men, it’s kind of like Michelle Pfeiffer…you’d date her because, well, she’s Michelle Pfeiffer…she’s still decently attractive and rich, but she’s a little too old if you’re my age.

  41. Now you see why I like candid pics of these sub-celebs at the beach or at their grocery stores?

  42. Spiderman

    Dear Homos commenting on hot chick with awesome nipples. If the last time your penis was in a vagina was the moment of your birth you have no say in judging this woman’s hotness. Please stick to commenting on dudes haircuts or pants labels or shoes etc. and let those of us with penises that actually enter vaginas comment on whether or not we would like to be sticking them in said vagina.

    Your truly,

  43. hahah slick hair and glossy nipples looks like youre in love with her make up artist jack ass…

  44. TopCat

    Nice booty!
    a beddable girl

  45. OnlyGayEskimo

    She’s super hot in that “wow, she’s a really GOOD tranny” sort of way.

  46. Iona Knipple

    Closet gay Clooney doesn’t know what to do with the chicks he lands! HA!

  47. R.I.P.Each

    Mi Scuzi, is it troot dat these mighty Canalis, he is, how do you say, in kinship with Senior SmeGaGag?

  48. R.I.P.Each

    Mi Scuzi, is it troot dat these mighty Canalis, he is, how do you say, in kinship with Senior SmeGaGag?

  49. Lorenzo

    After motorboating I would splooge all over those boobs as well as glaze that face.

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