George Clooney is sexiest man alive

November 15th, 2006 // 89 Comments

They must’ve missed all your write in votes for me because People magazine has named George Clooney Sexiest Man Alive for 2006, joining Brad Pitt as a two-time honoree. On being awarded the honor Clooney says:

“This one’s going to be hard for Brad (Pitt) since he’s been Sexiest Man Alive twice. He’s enjoyed that mantle. I’d say ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ to him and he’d go, ‘Two-time.’ So that’s been taken away. We used to call him Two Time. So Brad’s going to be upset.”

We can all agree that George Clooney is famous – he certainly is famous – but sexiest man alive? I saw at least three guys sexier on my way to lunch. I also saw three mirrors. Coincidence? I think not.


  1. griffmills

    Congrats, Ole Yellow Teeth !

  2. RichPort

    RichPort is the sexiest man in his home! No, seriously, I am…

  3. He’s… Just… So… Damn… SMUG.

  4. “Two Time” because that’s how many times they’ve butt-slammed each other.

  5. StanGable

    dude, he’s so smug. like the south park smug cloud.

  6. jrzmommy

    we all know rich is the sexiest man alive!

  7. PrettyBaby

    #6 you got that right!

  8. sexybitch

    #6 absofuckinglutely!

  9. Pagan Queen

    Clooney is dogmeat next to Rich.

  10. danielle

    That’s odd. I thought sexy meant “appealing to the eye”…”being attractive in a sexual manner”.

    I would never think that someone who wears…shall I say “diapers”, would actually be sexy. George Clooney? I mean, seriously. The guy won the title before… he definantly shouldn’t be winning it again.

    There are MUCH sexier guys who deserve this title. For heaven’s sake, the guy looks like he needs his food chewed for him BEFORE he digs in! Come on now! Whoever made this lame decision should be hit in the head with a bat.

    Maybe then…their eye sight would kick it.

  11. tits_on_snack

    I do not find this man sexy.

  12. Pagan Queen


    #9 is not my post – but the REAL RichPort is definately a cutie :)

  13. sexybitch

    the best part of that word was “glutely”

  14. Pagan Queen

    Danielle – I agree with you. I never thought he was sexy or nice looking at all. There are ALOT of other men out there that are much better. Maybe they say that because this guy vows to never get married? Who knows – he definately is NOTHING to look at.

  15. amaritimer

    Rich has my vote. He gives “getting fucked by the Rich” a whole new meaning. =)

  16. MamaSan

    Pasty looking old men with yellowed teeth and no lips, how could you not find that sexy? I’m thinking a dirty beige trenchcoat, {with nothin’ underneath} galoshes and white socks would really finish his look. Who’s with me?

  17. MotherTeresa

    I think George Clooney is very attractive, especially for an older man. If he wanted to bone me in the ass for half an hour, cum (for the first time in 2 weeks) up my ass, have me squat over a plate and squeeze it all back out, then lick up the plate, I just might do it. I mean, he’s G-to-the-fuckin-orge Clooney, after all.

  18. danielle

    I think Rich is pretty fucking sexy. Submit your pic…you never know.

    Pagan- Isn’t it about time that they had a “Sexiest Woman Alive”? What the hell is up with that? Know any good contenders? Hmmmm.

  19. vanillacreme

    Corn teeth are not sexy, and neither is being a smug bastard.

    I doubt that “two time” refered to Brad’s Sexiest Man awards(more like how he ‘two-timed’ his wife), but he’s still way sexier than George.

  20. onecritic

    George Clooney is a douchebag.

    (I’m trying to establish myself as the most boring poster on Superficial. How am I doing???)

  21. Jacquelantern

    OMG… I used to think George Clooney was hot, but now he’s just fing annoying!! Dr. McDreamy any day… over yellow chompers. He really needs to use some Efferdent for those yellow stained dentures of his.

  22. Pagan Queen

    danielle – they do have a contest for that. I dont remember who got it, but I remember thinking “ehhh”. They should make it a public vote somehow vice having a few people vote and tell us that this is who it is.

    onecritic – sorry, hon, not mundane enough

  23. Pagan Queen

    Matthew M. ala Failure to Launch, Wentworth Miller are just 2 I can name….I am sure we can come up with a great list.

  24. jrzmommy

    although I do believe that Rich is the world’s sexiest motherfucker there is, I didnt post that. that was my troll.

  25. danielle

    Have you guys seen the dude that was in the Evanesence video? That’s a sexy motherfucker.

  26. JungleRed

    People mag must have a committee of 50 year old women deciding “Sexiest Man Alive.” There’s no other explnation for why they keep shoving these old geezers at us. God forbid you give that title to a twenty year old underwear model. Clooney used up his good years on Facts of Life and Roseanne. And he wasn’t even that good looking then.

  27. 1985_binion's_poker_champion

    #1- haha.. funny…he has the butterscotch grin

  28. NipsyHustle

    i’m sure every girl he kisses walks away thinking “i can’t believe it’s not butter”

  29. AmericanMcKrout

    Sooooo NOT.

    And speaking of Rich- I think our pal Barbado could give him a good run for his money. How bouta 3-way (contest) between those two and, say, Papa Hot Nuts?

  30. 1985_binion's_poker_champion

    I guess in hollywood being old and having yellow teeth is sexy???

  31. AmericanMcKrout

    I bet his breath smalls like Werther’s Candies, denture cream, and old man. Yuck!

  32. AmericanMcKrout

    I guess you can’t laser-whiten false teeth.

  33. louise

    Whatever – so its not the best photo. George Clooney is a very, very attractive man.

  34. queenann

    If you’ve ever seen Mr. Clooney in person you would know why he is one of the sexiest men alive. I met him 30 lbs overweight in a beard & nasty clothes with aging makeup and he was still charming and gorgeous. And the voice just moves through you… Oh and I’m early 30s. This was on a college campus and there were 18 year-olds throwing themselves at him, too.

    Oh, and his teeth were white. Not a neon fake Paris Hilton white, but white. I’m suspicious because the woman behind him has the same kind of yellow teeth too, Yet his & anothers’ collars are practically day-glo. I’m guessing poor lighting, post-photo touched-up.

  35. Tha-Flash

    Brad Pitt owned!!!

  36. 86

    20 that was damned good.

    I always thought Clooney’s personality was sexy. His oscar speech was awesome.

  37. For a man that is most likely gay with yellow teeth George
    is sexy in that old money, good breeding and well mannered
    sort of way-he’s the new Cary Grant who was for sure a
    switch-hitter but still sexy as hell.

  38. onecritic

    Have you all noticed how the young George Clooney (Rosanne era) looks exactly like Joey Lawrence (Blossom era)? And by the way, what the FUCK has happened to Joey Lawrence? Why does he suddenly look 50 years old and insane????

  39. sexybitch

    His teeth aren’t yellow – or at least they weren’t when he made fun of laser-whitening in Intolerable Cruelty.
    Now if he’d just call Brad Pitt a “cunt”…

    And previous posts were the troll.

  40. ponk

    pretty bad when some old coot with Bell’s Palsy gets sexiest man of the year. Maybe there’s still hope for me.

  41. D'oh Eyes

    Pagan Queen, A to the Men on the Wentworth Miller nomination! Mmm, Prison Break. Which, by the way, is a great show.

    My other nominee would be Hugh Jackman (sounds like a porno name too)!

  42. Wow George Clooney?

    How 1997 of them.

  43. D'oh Eyes

    He looks like he’s doing a Popeye impression.

    “I yam what I yam”.

  44. Unabashed Liar

    Amazing as it is, not all women base their views entirely on looks alone. It is sort of like how some of them actually think before speaking, scary but true.

    Fortunately for all the K-Fed types out there, there are still plenty enough women around who’s ideal relationship never evolved beyond junior high.

  45. Pagan Queen

    Hugh -definately a YES!! Heath Ledger, too.

  46. he gets better each year. so sexy.

  47. seattleite

    Wow, I can’t believe that ugly old fart is the sexiest man alive. He doesn’t even have a wife, girlfriend, ho or male prostitute. Mu pet pig is sexier than that guy.

  48. Tits_McGhee

    I didn’t know they did a “Sexiest Man Alive” at Caroleton Manor nursing home!

  49. happy_bunny

    I’d hit it.

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