George Clooney is crafty

October 3rd, 2006 // 27 Comments

In the November issue of Vanity Fair George Clooney says he wants to go out with as many people as possible to put photographers out of business. He says:

“Here is my theory on debunking photographs in magazines, you know, the paparazzi photographs. I want to spend every single night for three months going out with a different famous actress. You know, Halle Berry one night, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio. People would still buy the magazines, they’d still buy the pictures, but they would always go, ‘I don’t know if these guys were putting us on or not.’”

It’s a good idea, except instead of doubting the photographs everybody’s just gonna think George Clooney is a bisexual man whore. He hasn’t even put his plan into motion yet and I already think that. Jealousy can be a cruel mistress.


  1. George contributes a lot to humanity, so being a Playboy isn’t his only job.

  2. Leave some ass for the rest of us George

  3. Tracie

    Now just wait a minute, I always thought that George Clooney WAS a bisexual man whore!

  4. What a tremendous sacrifice Clooney is willing to make–can you imagine how tough it’ll be for him to go out with a different person every single night? Rough! Poor, poor George.

  5. Tracie

    P. S. Nice yellow teeth Georgie…

  6. pinky_nip

    The guy has a pet pig…. How ’bout some shots of you makin’ it squeal, Clooney?

  7. BigJim

    Way old news.

  8. bigsteamyone

    his teeth look very yellow ,wassup with that ?

  9. wedgeone

    So how are the paparazzi supposed to react when he’s caught in a car getting oral from Andy Dick or some other transvestite hooker? Will he be considered classy like Hugh Grant or Eddie Murphy?

  10. RichPort

    George Clooney spits butter…

  11. I find it interesting that Clooney slips that comment in about holding hands with DiCaprio as more and more rumors about his strident bisexuality emerge. I’m sure he was just kidding, and the notion was meant to show the absurdity of the press. It is in no way pre-emptive damage control designed to make such future gossip seem ridiculous. And does anyone buy his fake, self-deprecating smugness anymore? You know he’s a grade A asshole in real life. And he likes watching underage Mexican boys wrestle nude doused in crisco while enlarging his sphincter with various dildos and phallic-shaped vegetables and fruits.

  12. shell

    Why doesn’t he just say he wants to stick his dick in as many holes as possible

  13. feistyminx

    I hope he gets caught with George Michael in a bathroom stall. Let his PR spin that one! I thought he was an @ss ever since he made a joke about Charleton Heston having Alzheimers and saying he deserves it because of his politics. It’s cruel, no one deserves Alzheimers.

  14. RichPort

    #13 – You’re right. I want Charleton Heston to be fully cognizant when some meth addict with an itch and an illegal gun smokes him for the $20 in his wallet.

  15. Italian Stallion

    Motherfucker look’s like he wants a can of spinach and some Olive Oil………..

  16. Clooney goes the way of Travolta…I throw all the blame on the Batsuit with the nipples.


    Damn! How does he do that thing with his lips? I’ve been trying for the past hour. I want to be crafty bitch!

  18. My husband and I have always thought him gay-not that
    we care but it just kind of funny as he’s always made out
    to be such a lady’s man!
    I didn’t like the comment he made about Jack Abramoff-it
    was just stupid and tacky-disappointing from someone
    I always thought was a class act.
    Truly, his teeth are horrid!

  19. May

    He needs to whiten those teeth before trying to get some hot fe/males

  20. beifiori

    Ha—-Ha! that george, he’s so witty and smuuurt!

  21. ImaCracka

    Did he just call leo an actress…. I mean I always new that guy was a fruity bastard but come on…..

  22. Fewdfreak

    His teeth would be a lot whiter if he was sucking cack and slurping the man milk.

  23. applecrisp

    ewwwwwwe. Yellow teeth.
    The result of excreting verbal bile from that orifice.

  24. jackspratling

    For the first twelve years or so, wondering who Clooney was dating was slightly interesting. Now, nobody cares. By this time Clooney’s had so much grade A tail prance in front of him that the only logical conclusion is he bats for the other team.

    15 years from now, when gay marriage is legal, they’ll STILL be trying to pin Clooney down to see who his man-bride (mife? gride? Musband?) is. And it will still be boring. Memo to Clooney– no one cares. We want more stories about firecrotches.

  25. yeah………..sure that’s gonna work

  26. Spunk Muffin

    Hollywood is full of nothing but queers.

  27. K.LANER


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