George Clooney ditches the cocktail waitress, prepares chin for sexification

May 29th, 2008 // 64 Comments

George Clooney has apparently decided to heed the advice of a mystery caller and kicked girlfriend Sarah Larson to the curb, according to a source for People:

Larson, 29, and Clooney, 47, made their public debut together at the Venice and Deauville film festivals last September. Later that month, the twosome were injured in a motorcycle accident.
Earlier this year, Larson accompanied Clooney to the Oscars – the first girlfriend ever to go with him to the event.

Sarah Larson is quite the party girl, but George Clooney is looking for someone that’s more his style. And that style would be young, hot, adventurous and evaporates after exactly 87 rounds of intercourse. Unfortunately, Sarah not only stuck around way past 100 but had the audacity to suggest George should buy an ottoman. An ottoman? Why don’t you just call his mother a whore while you’re at it, lady? Sheesh. Some nerve…

superficial

  1. The Gorgeous One

    HA! He was just waiting for me!!!

  2. The Gorgeous One

    HA! He was just waiting for me!!!

  3. The Gorgeous One

    HA! He was just waiting for me!!!

  4. The Gorgeous One

    HA! He was just waiting for me!!!

  5. The Gorgeous One

    HA! He was just waiting for me!!!!

  6. The Gorgeous One

    HA! He was just waiting for me!!!!

  7. The Gorgeous One

    HA! He was just waiting for me!!!!

  8. ph7

    Poor girl. Peaked way too early in life.

    How will she top him?

    She can’t. I feel sorry for the guy who ends up with her – she will always be bitter.

  9. Barak Obama

    The Gorgeous One, you are a retard. Everyone knows Clooney is gay and the girls are just for show. Sort of like Katie Holmes. clooney and his chin came to a US Marine base where I worked as a civilian and NO ONE wanted to see him. Except the gay Marines.

    Vote Democrat so I can raise your taxes to pay for universal healthcare!

  10. Lemme guess… her non-existent penis was too much for him to bear.

    Oh, and #1-7 = douchebag to the seventh power.

  11. havoc

    Honestly, if I looked like Clooney, I would be running a sexual obstacle course every night with dozens of women.

    But that’s just me….

    .

  12. snarky

    First Ashlee, now George…What is this, national fricken chin day or something?

  13. snarky

    #’s 1-7… I suggest you change your name to “The Retarded One” instead. Back off the fricken post your comment key, for cripes sakes!

  14. deacon jones

    He was probably only with her this long since she either
    A. Gave phenomenal head
    B. Enjoyed anal

    On another note, FISH, thats 3 times in the last two days Ive been fucking auto booted to another website after you 200 some cookies finished downloading.

  15. nipolian

    Isn’t this the same hooker that was fucking the governor of NY for $4k a night.

  16. That chin has its own moon

  17. Lucia

    What a ^%$&$%$ man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The magazine SEEKING GOSSIP reported him joined the rich man seeking sugar babies site”S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ” and he is mentioned to find his sugar girl
    there! the magazine foolx he????????????or fools us????

  18. The Gorgeous One

    @ 9 Damn! Say it ain’t so

    @10 So sorry, I got way to exceited and the vibrator kept hitting the keyboard

    :p

  19. Must Join Marine Cause I'm Too Dumb to Qualify for Other Careers

    #15

    No, that’s #9.

  20. English Bob

    Yeh, it’s true if any of us guys were Clooney we’d be riding everything that moved, but were not, so were stuck with cheap whores, the missus and pictures of Kim Kardaskank off this site…Boooo!!

  21. Thank God

    Finally George got my respect back for realizing that this girl is just for fucking.

  22. Auntie Kryst

    I hope she is going to get her old cocktail waitress job back.. I got a convention coming up soon in Vegas. Sarah, I like my Jameson on the rocks and *clink clink* keep ‘em coming Legs.

  23. OH THANK GOD!!!!! For the longest time I did NOT know how to spell ottoman. Thank Fish!!

  24. Ladies let this be a lesson to you all. ‘Dating’ a queer doesn’t always mean that a ring will end up on your finger.

  25. Harry

    I wonder how you go from a glamorous jet setting lifestyle to working for tips? Guess we’re about to find you, eh, Sarah?

  26. How Can Some People Be Such Idiots?

    #24

    Would you rather date a hot lesbian or a straight ugly chick, whether or not a ring is involved?

  27. Jenny

    I guess two whores don’t make a right?

    ….I don’t really know what that means either. Shut up. They’re both sluts– that is my point.

  28. Rob

    All good things must come to an end!

    http://www.sweetredwines.info

  29. cavy

    Why is it that, just because someone prefers not to be tied down in life, they are automatically gay? I say that’s bullshit. If more people would wait for the ‘right one’ there wouldn’t be so many needless divorces or children from broken homes. And who cares if someone wants to remain single their entire lives. You know, people, you don’t have to follow “the Life Script” – you are allowed to use your own judgment and you actually DO have a choice in how you want to live your lives!!!!!

  30. Cheese & Rice

    NEXT

    Come on over Georgey Boy, I’ll take that chin in between the thighs. Mmm MM MMMM

  31. jazzhands

    The next guy that says “Will you” to me, I’m going to punch him in the face before he can finish.
    What the hell is the reason for marriage?????

    Me, bitter? Naw, just pissy.. and I don’t have an ottoman..

  32. Jumpin_J

    Hey Barak, good to see you and your dumb postings again! Hadn’t heard from you in days and thought maybe you’d been hit by a truck and maybe knock some common sense into you. But here you are again with your “vote democratic and die” rants. Good to hear from the ditto heads but you’re getting sloppy. You forgot to add that Tom Cruise is the Messiah and Rev Hagee rocks!!! Seriously, the Republicans as they stand now are dead meat because WE’RE SICK OF YOU AND WHAT YOU’VE DONE. Ask Scott Mc Clennan.

    When the real Obama wins, please do all of us a favor and go to another country. Any country. In the meantime, please keep you idiocy to a Fox website or go slurp on Hannity’s site, or O ‘Reilly’s site, or go have your wet dreams of a three some with you, Michelle Malkin, and Ann Coulter somewhere else. Just get the fcuk out of here. We all really, truly hate you. Have a nice day if that’s at all possible.

  33. Barely Stearn

    #9 — Uhh, were you working that base so YOU could be near the gay Marines and were jealous that George got the attention you had been getting…?

    Enquiring minds want to know…

    Oh and by the way: This story? Boring as a fart after a plate of refried beans. George does this with such regularity that the next Clooney headline should deservedly be: NEWSFLASH! George Clooney changes socks!

  34. me

    Yeah…. go vote for John McSame.

  35. Barely Stearn

    P.S. Sarah, you’ve got perhaps one or two mentions left on ET and/or E! and then….Hello!!! Welcome to oblivion!

    Let me help you out with you new line readings: “Hello: Have you ever been to _______________? Our specials tonight are……..”

  36. Barely Stearn

    Jesus – Wouldn’t be great if she started dating Fabio?

  37. Buffy

    George is well known throughout Hollywood to be a major lothario, a STRAIGHT one. He has boned just about every actress in town and is still buds with most if not all of them. Anyone who thinks he is gay needs to do a tad more research.

  38. britney's weave

    @9, obama isn’t completely for universal health care. that would be hillary.

    @34, john mcsame? hilarious!

    oh, and clooney has reportedly also gotten veneers. which is a good thing, cuz they were kinda yellow before.

  39. Mrs. Garrett

    Maybe she couldn’t handle a Clooney cockmeat sandwich.

  40. cookiepuss

    George is GAY. GAY. GAY. He is the Rock Hudson of our time

  41. mimi

    Clooney is a JERK.

    A RICH JERK.

    A RICK JERK-OFF!

    Now I’m gonna hit the key 7 times and see if they will all post!

  42. mimi

    Clooney is a JERK.

    A RICH JERK.

    A RICK JERK-OFF!

    Now I’m gonna hit the key 7 times and see if they will all post!

  43. mimi

    Clooney is a JERK.

    A RICH JERK.

    A RICK JERK-OFF!

    Now I’m gonna hit the key 7 times and see if they will all post!

  44. mimi

    Clooney is a JERK.

    A RICH JERK.

    A RICK JERK-OFF!

    Now I’m gonna hit the key 7 times and see if they will all post!

  45. mimi

    Clooney is a JERK.

    A RICH JERK.

    A RICK JERK-OFF!

    Now I’m gonna hit the key 7 times and see if they will all post!

  46. mimi

    Clooney is a JERK.

    A RICH JERK.

    A RICK JERK-OFF!

    Now I’m gonna hit the key 7 times and see if they will all post!

  47. mimi

    Clooney is a JERK.

    A RICH JERK.

    A RICK JERK-OFF!

    Now I’m gonna hit the key 7 times and see if they will all post!

  48. justifiable

    #41-47 As opposed to being just a plain jerkoff like you, mimi?

    P.S. Learn to type “rich” correctly if you’re going to keep being a jerkoff.

  49. Val

    Well, there’s always Playboy or Girls gone Wild.

  50. devilsrain

    allow me to re edit….”George Clooney is looking for someone that’s more his style. And that style would be young, hot, adventurous and has a big cock”
    why do you think he lives in Italy…..

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