George Zimmerman Is Buying Tactical Shotguns

The Superficial | August 23, 2013 - 1:17 pm

Wait a minute. Noooo…

Before I even get into this post, inevitably some shithead is going to bring up the Christopher Lane shooting in Oklahoma, so do yourself a favor and read this even though you’re still going to froth at the mouth that it was entirely justified to shoot Trayvon Martin because in the future two completely separate black kids, and a white kid, shot and killed a random college student in cold blood because they were bored. Despite the fact all three were instantly arrested and charged with murder, which not a fucking person is arguing they shouldn’t have been, making the case nothing like Trayvon Martin’s except in the part of your brain where Abe Lincoln and George Washington quote Bible verses while holding M16s.

So remember how George Zimmerman was driving around America with a handgun? Well, somebody’s spirit quest is over because guess who’s come home for justice, baby. BOOM. Get some. TMZ reports:

Zimmerman went to Kel-Tec in Cocoa, Florida … a gun manufacturing company. We’re told he was asking questions about the legality of buying a shotgun — specifically, the Kel-Tec KSG.
The gun in question is a tactical shotgun, often used for home defense. It holds 12 rounds of 12 gauge shells.
And this is interesting … Kel-Tec manufactures the PF-9 gun — the pistol Zimmerman used to kill Trayvon Martin.

Look, I’m not even going to get into how all the white gun nuts at the factory semi-automatically jizzed in their pants when George Zimmerman walked in and agreed to pose for pictures with them because statistically these people will eventually shoot themselves or a family member soon. (Exhibit B: They’re in Florida.) What I will get into is that, yes, I do understand George Zimmerman is receiving death threats and at the end of the day, he does have a right to defend himself. Except what I don’t understand is why he’s not just stopping at 7-11 and stocking up on iced tea and Skittles, the most dangerous weapons of all. It’s almost like he wants to make this harder on himself, but then again, the hero’s journey is often one of penance.

“George, why don’t you just fight with them Skittles? This is madness!”
“No. *cocks shotgun* We do this the old way. *slaps clip into AR-15 with laser scope* For Trayvon.”